Do you take family vacations and not bring all your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Yikes.

But maybe he just hates photos and IS there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

Have you been the autistic kid who's left at home? It's...devastating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

[Anonymous]

Yes. But I have 4 kids. Each child gets their own trip and then we do girls only, or boys only. We take 2 major family vacations each year with everyone.

It works for us.

[Anonymous]

We left my then 9 month old behind to take our 3.5 year old to Disney world last year. Other than very young babies, we wouldn’t take a whole family trip and leave one person behind. Maybe one parent one child, but not generally.

One exception I can think of is that one of my parents used to travel with my brothers for sports things like spring training or the all star game. I had zero interest and the other parent would be home with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

I'm totally sure that you are taking this opportunity to dump on this woman and judge her because you have similar challenges in your own life and always include a child with severe challenges in every facet, and are able to meet your own needs ,the needs of your severely disabled child and your multiple other children completely while remaining completely happy and sane yourself.

/s

I'm sure that there are ways this family's vacations or other activities could be done better, but unless you've walked in these shoes, this was a cruel and useless angle to this thread. I hope I don't know you in real life - you seem petty and incredibly unsympathetic. To the parent, the autistic child (who you are exploiting here to feel superior among other things), and their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

This feels like a different conversation than OPs question. While I understand what you’re saying, I also think it’s hard to judge people in their situation. I had a long term boyfriend in high school whose brother was severely autistic. The guy I dated had a heavy burden on his shoulders having to help out a lot with his brothers care in ways he shouldn’t necessarily have had to. We don’t know what their day to day is. The parents are probably trying hard to give themselves and their kids some respite from their day to day, which is harder and looks very different from most families. They may love their SN child, but of course caring for them takes a toll on everyone in the family and that’s not something that people who haven’t experienced that should judge.

[Anonymous]

My kids go to a 3.5 week sleepaway camp when they are old enough. That is enough time away from their friends / house in the summer and they don’t love to otherwise travel too too much in the summer.

Last summer my then 7 year old wasn’t old enough for camp and we went on a Royal carribbean cruise while the older two were at camp. It was a bit of a unique circumstance because I had a pandemic cruise credit that was going to expire and that was really the only time we could use it.

The older two knew about the trip and didn’t mind that we did it while they were at camp. They wouldn’t have rather us taken them away for another summer week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to a 3.5 week sleepaway camp when they are old enough. That is enough time away from their friends / house in the summer and they don’t love to otherwise travel too too much in the summer.

Last summer my then 7 year old wasn’t old enough for camp and we went on a Royal carribbean cruise while the older two were at camp. It was a bit of a unique circumstance because I had a pandemic cruise credit that was going to expire and that was really the only time we could use it.

I would actually be curious to know if you were anxious cruising while your other kids were at camp. Was it international? What would have happened if you needed to get to your kids if there was an emergency? For some reason cruises make me nervous as they are more off-grid, less flexible and harder to leave mid cruise if needed

The older two knew about the trip and didn’t mind that we did it while they were at camp. They wouldn’t have rather us taken them away for another summer week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to a 3.5 week sleepaway camp when they are old enough. That is enough time away from their friends / house in the summer and they don’t love to otherwise travel too too much in the summer.

Last summer my then 7 year old wasn’t old enough for camp and we went on a Royal carribbean cruise while the older two were at camp. It was a bit of a unique circumstance because I had a pandemic cruise credit that was going to expire and that was really the only time we could use it.

The older two knew about the trip and didn’t mind that we did it while they were at camp. They wouldn’t have rather us taken them away for another summer week.

I would actually be curious to know if you were anxious cruising while your other kids were at camp. Was it international? What would have happened if you needed to get to your kids if there was an emergency? For some reason cruises make me nervous as they are more off-grid, less flexible and harder to leave mid cruise if needed

[Anonymous]

I don’t take my child with profound intellectual disability on every vacation that I take her sister on. She is cognitively a 9 month old and doesn’t interact with the world much. She doesn’t know I’m her “mom”, etc. She stays home with trusted family and sitters and happily does what she likes (watching TV) without even noticing we are gone. It is a much harder calculus if your child understands what is going on. But it could be that the child with autism is happy not to go.

That said, I take my child with ID to the places that make sense. She goes on beach and Disney vacations. We are going on our first cruise with her soon, but I am paying for a sitter to come with us since my kid cannot participate in many activities.

You really cannot judge a family figuring out how to deal with significant disabilities unless you have volunteered to provide overnight and daytime respite care for at least one week. And even then, you will only see a snippet of the situation.

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of a car trip with my mom and 14 yr old sister, DC to St. Louis and back. My sister didn't want to go and was so obnoxious in the car that on the way back my mom stopped in Columbus OH and put her on a plane home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t take my child with profound intellectual disability on every vacation that I take her sister on. She is cognitively a 9 month old and doesn’t interact with the world much. She doesn’t know I’m her “mom”, etc. She stays home with trusted family and sitters and happily does what she likes (watching TV) without even noticing we are gone. It is a much harder calculus if your child understands what is going on. But it could be that the child with autism is happy not to go.

That said, I take my child with ID to the places that make sense. She goes on beach and Disney vacations. We are going on our first cruise with her soon, but I am paying for a sitter to come with us since my kid cannot participate in many activities.

You really cannot judge a family figuring out how to deal with significant disabilities unless you have volunteered to provide overnight and daytime respite care for at least one week. And even then, you will only see a snippet of the situation.

But do you have the gall to post about your fun vacations??? How dare you enjoy yourself!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not yet but I'm guessing once the oldest is off to college this may happen.

My friend whose son has autism never takes him or acknowledges that he isn't there. She takes her other two children and they take 2000 pictures as a family of 4 that she posts on FB. At least 4 times a year.

Have you travelled with an autistic kid with significant challenges? It’s…hard. On them, on the parents, on your other kids, on your fellow airplane/train/bus passengers, and on just about everyone you encounter whilst trying to be on “vacation”.

It wouldn’t be so weird if she didn’t make daily over-the-top posts about her perfect family and what amazing (luxury$$$) trip they are having minus their child. And I know for sure she doesn’t take him. They have an immigrant woman they pay to watch him when they travel. She also takes care of him pretty much any time he’s not at school so as not to “disrupt” their family life.

I'm totally sure that you are taking this opportunity to dump on this woman and judge her because you have similar challenges in your own life and always include a child with severe challenges in every facet, and are able to meet your own needs ,the needs of your severely disabled child and your multiple other children completely while remaining completely happy and sane yourself.

/s

I'm sure that there are ways this family's vacations or other activities could be done better, but unless you've walked in these shoes, this was a cruel and useless angle to this thread. I hope I don't know you in real life - you seem petty and incredibly unsympathetic. To the parent, the autistic child (who you are exploiting here to feel superior among other things), and their family.

No one is forcing her to put it all out on FB. It’s really fake and showy. I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds it odd. I don’t care if some stranger disagrees.