Once your kid turns 18, they can make all of their own decisions

[Anonymous]

Your goal as a parent is to raise self-supporting adults who can live without you. Part of the "self-supporting" part is refusing to fund items/activities with which you do not agree. Want to go to college/job training? I am all for that. Want to have your own apartment after college and find out that you can't afford it on your waitressing salary, since you didn't go avail yourself of the college career counseling office when it was suggested to you to do so? Well, that's too bad. Get a roommate or you can move home and recalibrate your income/spending. Some young adults take to managing their own money/lives well and some have more growing pains, despite having the same parents. It's a process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your goal as a parent is to raise self-supporting adults who can live without you. Part of the "self-supporting" part is refusing to fund items/activities with which you do not agree. Want to go to college/job training? I am all for that. Want to have your own apartment after college and find out that you can't afford it on your waitressing salary, since you didn't go avail yourself of the college career counseling office when it was suggested to you to do so? Well, that's too bad. Get a roommate or you can move home and recalibrate your income/spending. Some young adults take to managing their own money/lives well and some have more growing pains, despite having the same parents. It's a process.

This. A few posters think parents should turn on a firehose of money with no strings attached. That's not doing any favors to the kids, who need to learn to budget and make other adult decisions.

[Anonymous]

I supported myself starting at age 18, in an era where that was quite unusual, and it was both liberating and terrifying to make all of my decisions. I think that if you are providing financial support, there are definitely strings attached on your kids independence. If not, you’re right OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your goal as a parent is to raise self-supporting adults who can live without you. Part of the "self-supporting" part is refusing to fund items/activities with which you do not agree. Want to go to college/job training? I am all for that. Want to have your own apartment after college and find out that you can't afford it on your waitressing salary, since you didn't go avail yourself of the college career counseling office when it was suggested to you to do so? Well, that's too bad. Get a roommate or you can move home and recalibrate your income/spending. Some young adults take to managing their own money/lives well and some have more growing pains, despite having the same parents. It's a process.

This. A few posters think parents should turn on a firehose of money with no strings attached. That's not doing any favors to the kids, who need to learn to budget and make other adult decisions.

+1 Let kids be "independent". But do not give them finances that reward them for other not so bright decisions. Let them learn from their mistakes is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

My kids get a lot of financial and logistical support from us. But that is also because they are super motivated, good kids who have a lot of maturity, surround themselves with good people, excel at studies and career building and very pragmatic. We know the character of our kids so they are getting out help. They also know that they have won our trust and they have to continue to not let us down.

I have great kids. I cannot be punitive with them.