What was it like for exec women & mothers 20+ years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20 years ago was only 2003.

I say it has been easy at work for the ladies since at least 1993.

I say close to 100 percent of women still in work force never worked in a bad environment.

Remember in the 1960s men smoked, cursed, drank, had affairs and it was even legal to fire pregnant women.

WFH is nothing of a benefit next to I worked often 45-60 hour weeks with people smoking and cursing all day. I come home saying F bombs and we go out to drinks all the time. I often get home from work drink at 1 am and back at desk in suit by 8 am. I say 95 percent of women were gone by 35.

My department had 400 men and 5 women. And age discrimination existed for men. Out of the 395 men maybe 7-9 were over 35.

I recall my boss telling some guy who asked to leave on time as baby issue said look you screwed your wife last year without a condom now I have to work late no way

That environment started during as early as the late 1970s and was gone by early 90s

Now women are the breadwinners and hold more college degrees and women now complain no men to marry more successful than them.

I worked with a women in 1988 who was 81 and still working. The stories she had how women were treated in the 1920s and 1930s were horrific. She thought 1988 was great for women

Really? 20 years ago I was sexually harassed by a much older, senior employee. I was told he was spoken to and it would be fine. It was not, and I left

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took my 6 weeks of unpaid maternity leave in 2016 and hurried back to work, lest they think I'm not putting in as much time and effort as the menfolk. The same men that routinely sexually harassed me in the workplace.

A white male Sr. Director shoved and screamed at my female colleague because she had to be the bearer of some bad news related to a project. She was eventually put on a performance plan and "counseled out". He was promoted to VP.

This was for one of the nation's largest employers. Tons of inter-office affairs. All of the top executives kept condoms in their desks.

I'm gobsmacked that some of you all are getting promoted on paid maternity leave. I mean, that's great and I'm happy for you all. I'm just really shocked because that couldn't be further than my experience only a short time ago.

A promotion doesn't mean a substantial pay increase. And, promoting young women is not a threat anymore to the older male baby boomers. They are also sometimes very racist, along with being sexist. They will promote young women over older more qualified women and black men.

[Anonymous]

I attended a conference where Elizabeth Dole once spoke. She said that when she attended law school, the men told her that she was taking a man's seat.

It's 2023. Men still consider whether or not a woman is taking a man's job or taking a man's seat.

I can't see how it's not actually worse today in so many ways. Especially with the proliferation of online forums, YouTube channels, and technology like AI dominated by young men. They control so much more than you realize.

[Anonymous]

My first day at my first job out of college in 1998, two different women pulled me aside to tell me to never be in a room alone with my skip level boss and when showing him work material to always stay on the other side of his desk away from him.

[Anonymous]

Assuming a gender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming a gender?

Yes indeed.

[Anonymous]

It was hard. There was no WFH and we had to dress professionally every day. There was no allowance for pumping space or time whatsoever.

Employers expected there to be a bright line between work and home.

It's my impression that it's not much easier now.

~62yo with kids in their 20s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There wasn’t really WFH I assume.

I'm a woman in my early 50s. WFH is not having that much of an impact on women's lives. Executive women and mothers most likely need a lot of support in the home for caregiving, either through supportive spouses/significant others or through extended family or childcare services/workers. They still probably have children when they are in their 30s/early 40s instead of their late teens/early 20s. They are usually in very public-facing positions/roles, almost like nominated/elected officials. The ones I've seen rise through the ranks having very limited technical expertise, but they have excellent public speaking skills.

No WFH has a huge impact. Even for jobs where people have to go to the office every day, most can be home for an hour for dinner or bedtime and then work late at home. Previously those people couldn’t come home at all.

Also, there are lots of women just below the executive level. Middle managers, GS 14/15. Many with husbands in similar jobs. WFH makes is much easier. Of course, I know it’s not available in all fields so being able to do that is a privilege but I am sure it means more people are able to balance the various parts of their lives.

In addition to that, I don’t think I could do it without grocery delivery, Costco delivery, meal delivery, fast casual restaurants, online shopping, regular house cleaners. All of those things were not as accessible and make life much much easier. I basically only leave my house for work, kid or social activities. DH or I set up all the items above on the commute or lunch break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 23 and 21 year old.

In 1999 I was pregnant and up for a promotion. My boss said “you are clearly the most qualified but since you are pregnant I think your energy and attention will be elsewhere “ and he gave the promotion to a male who was way less qualified.

At the time it was legal to discriminate because of being a new mom. It was illegal to discriminate against me as a pregnant person but as a new mom it was legal.

+1

In 1998 my colleague (in-house legal department) learned that her compensation was out of line with male colleagues and asked for a raise/adjustment. Our male boss said, "your husband is a surgeon, what's the big deal?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 23 and 21 year old.

In 1999 I was pregnant and up for a promotion. My boss said “you are clearly the most qualified but since you are pregnant I think your energy and attention will be elsewhere “ and he gave the promotion to a male who was way less qualified.

At the time it was legal to discriminate because of being a new mom. It was illegal to discriminate against me as a pregnant person but as a new mom it was legal.

Men and companies are just much smarter today about how they discriminate against women.

+1

It's more stealth.

[Anonymous]

I had no maternity leave and was required to pump in a supply closet (and I had to track down the HR director to get the key- twice a day). She got so mad at me once because I interrupted a meeting because my boobs were leaking.

there was no work from home, I had to be downtown DC and I was so miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There wasn’t really WFH I assume.

I'm a woman in my early 50s. WFH is not having that much of an impact on women's lives. Executive women and mothers most likely need a lot of support in the home for caregiving, either through supportive spouses/significant others or through extended family or childcare services/workers. They still probably have children when they are in their 30s/early 40s instead of their late teens/early 20s. They are usually in very public-facing positions/roles, almost like nominated/elected officials. The ones I've seen rise through the ranks having very limited technical expertise, but they have excellent public speaking skills.

Speak for yourself. I got promoted during COVID and it was largely because WFH allowed me to flex my time around weird pandemic daycare hours. I would have had to quit entirely if WFH wasnt' an option

[Anonymous]

When I was a junior associate in Biglaw in 2000, a male partner in my practice group praised one of the female partners who had waited until she made partner to get pregnant and only took six weeks of maternity leave (and worked at home during that time). There was also the legendary NY partner who was back in her office running deals three days after giving birth. The clear message was that work was first, health and family second at all times.

I switched to government, and even there it was not super family friendly in the early 2000s and 2010s. I worked for an older female boss without kids, and I traveled extensively and worked long hours when my daughters were young toddlers into elementary school.

It's really only in the past five years that I have felt comfortable turning down work and declining events for kids' activities. My default until probably 2018 was to sneak out if I had to leave early and pretend any absences were not kid-related.

[Anonymous]

At my mother’s retirement party, she made mention in her speech about her years in the “sandwich generation” and how she figured out how to survive and thrive.

Afterwards, her boss (male) came up to her and asked “What’s the sandwich generation? I never heard that term before.”

[Anonymous]

It was just as hard but the women were trained to keep it secret to benefit other people, like the first trimester of pregnancy.