“We're a family here".. What are the most common manipulative phrases used in your workplace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My supervisor will say I'm "living the dream." I'm like, no I actually went to school for years to be able to do this.

Funny you mention this but as a lawyer living the dream = making good money in an absolutely miserable job. There was a youtube miniseries from bitterlawyer (Rick Eid) that was pretty funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_auFicUWK4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently to "be a team player" or "being a part of the team", means being willing to take on additional work that is outside of your job description because somebody else doesn't know how or doesn't want to manage their own work load AND/OR somebody quit and they aren't being productive in finding a replacement.

This is my life right now. Boss fired 2 employees and asked me to "just cover for them" for now.

So, just, you know, have three jobs but only get paid for one.

In my world another department is "so busy" that their work needs to shift to my department that has half the staff. Yea for all being a team!

[Anonymous]

"We believe in work life balance" while my boss calls me at 7PM and insists I explain what exactly I need PTO for every time I have to block my calendar for an appointment during core business hours. I don't actually want to tell my boss whether my cat is sick or my kids or my teeth. I just want to be able to use my earned PTO to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My supervisor will say I'm "living the dream." I'm like, no I actually went to school for years to be able to do this.

I don’t understand this post. I take “living the dream” to mean that someone is really happy and satisfied in what they’re doing. What does schooling have to do with this?

[Anonymous]

Heroes Work Here
Not All Heroes Wear a Cape
- - -

I've worked in six different DMV hospitals since Covid hit the scene in 2020.

Here's a PSA to the general public: if you see a sign out front that says "Heroes Work Here," this means the hospital you've chosen is understaffed

This most definitely means they pay their core (not travel) employees as little as they can get away with and still maintain hospital accreditation .

Your negative experience with that healthcare system -- even the prestige ones -- is a direct result of wage shenanigans that creates understaffing. Proceed with your eyes open

[Anonymous]

So I don't work for an organization anymore, partly for this reason, but I've heard them all:

"We take care of each other" - said when you are being asked to do something way outside your job description or comfort zone to assist someone else, but when you need help or support, suddenly "we" do not care.

"You have to pay your dues" - toxic justification for mistreating young or inexperienced workers in order to benefit older or more veteran workers. Also often used to justify failing to promote or give raises/bonuses to younger high performers.

"Always be striving for better" - sounds good at first but translates to the expectation that even if someone does every aspect of their job perfectly, they have failed because they didn't find some way to do it *more* perfectly than the previous year, despite being given zero incentive to do so.

"The customer/client is always right" - nope, sometimes they are wrong, and saying this is just a way to excuse abuse or scapegoat people low in the organizational hierarchy.

So many more. These are the top ones though.

[Anonymous]

Well, as a supervisor, I've learned from this thread that some people don't want me to tell them that I appreciate them or ask what they did over the weekend.

I feel like some of y'all have been burned by horrible bosses/toxic work places such that you don't even recognize innocuous interactions when they take place. There's better places out there for you! I promise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you do last weekend? Tell me about your vacation. What did you do on your day off? What's your kids/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend's name? Where do you live? etc.


Any prying questions about family or how you spent your personal time are manipulative imo because they're meant to create a fake sense of camaraderie. That goes double if it's coming from a higher up.

This is a weird, unhealthy way to think.

+1

My boss, and many of my coworkers (and their families) are friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you do last weekend? Tell me about your vacation. What did you do on your day off? What's your kids/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend's name? Where do you live? etc.


Any prying questions about family or how you spent your personal time are manipulative imo because they're meant to create a fake sense of camaraderie. That goes double if it's coming from a higher up.

This is a weird, unhealthy way to think.

+1

My boss, and many of my coworkers (and their families) are friends.

I really like my coworkers! Smart kind people who I genuinely care about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We believe in work life balance" while my boss calls me at 7PM and insists I explain what exactly I need PTO for every time I have to block my calendar for an appointment during core business hours. I don't actually want to tell my boss whether my cat is sick or my kids or my teeth. I just want to be able to use my earned PTO to deal with it.

Waaaaait. Your boss is making you explain what you want your pto for? Oh hell to the no! I would have to immediately get off the phone.

[Anonymous]

If you dislike the people you work with and for this much, go find another job.

If you could do it better, go ahead and do it better. Become a manager. Start a company and hire people.

Oh also, if you are applying for promotions regularly and never getting them that is because you are a terrible employee. It's not that no one understands how great you are.

[Anonymous]

"Real Time Off" I'm so glad that you couldn't hack it in your managerial role so now you are our "chief wellness officer". Real time off doesn't exist. My boss wouldn't approve our holiday leave, even as my flight was scheduled to leave (I just left anyway), calls me every weekend when I am doing things with my famiies, insists on "back up" when I ask for a week off then never contacts that person.

Wellness related stuff--unless it is related to free gym memberships and discounted insurance for riding my bike to work and being under my BMI, I don't want to hear about it. My boss is the most toxic person ever, a total mean girl/guy and he is fixated on wellness culture and pretending our government agency is a start up.

Collaborative space--this is just space where people who don't have enough work chat all day about their kids/partners/pets and drink coffee and then pull out their laptops. Same people complain about my work calls in my cube farm

[Anonymous]

"be scrappy"

Where I worked, it translated into "Work 3-7 jobs because I am unwilling to share my bonus/profitability money to hire more staff."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

"I/we appreciate you" wtf? Are u gonna give me a milk bone treat and a pat on the head


"Circling back on this" I didn't beat you to death with this very (minor)error that I found. Let's go back at it one more time, but this time with more witnesses copied on the email.

You don’t want to know you’re appreciated? Wondering about your age. Boomer? Older Gen X?

You’d probably like my old boss who said a paycheck is thanks enough and you shouldn’t expect anything else.

Some toxic workplaces will give you accolades, awards, even Starbucks gift cards, but you're way underpaid. I would rather have the paycheck. Millennials need a lot of feedback.

[Anonymous]

"Take care of each other."