Child dislikes all activities outside of home

[Anonymous]

He’s six. He has to go to school, but otherwise let him play at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to worry about. Finish the season/session(s) and then take a break or let him choose just one activity he likes and go from there.

Nothing wrong either with just letting him run around and play at the playground or just unstructured outside time either, especially now as the weather is getting nicer!

Seriously, what is wrong with people nowadays. It’s like some bizarre concept to allow tiny kids to have free time. They must be scheduled up the wazoo!

If you want him to pick up some skill OP, then do it with him casually at home! Kick a ball together etc.

[Anonymous]

You named at least 7 activities? When does your kid play? My kid is doing 2 (he’s 7). Swimming and karate. He does aftercare at school on two other days. That’s plenty. But doing that many sounds exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing to worry about. Finish the season/session(s) and then take a break or let him choose just one activity he likes and go from there.

Nothing wrong either with just letting him run around and play at the playground or just unstructured outside time either, especially now as the weather is getting nicer!

Seriously, what is wrong with people nowadays. It’s like some bizarre concept to allow tiny kids to have free time. They must be scheduled up the wazoo!

If you want him to pick up some skill OP, then do it with him casually at home! Kick a ball together etc.

There's a reason 70% of children who play youth sports don't play in the later middle school years and high school. Burn out is very real. It is paramount to slow play activities and let them find what they like on their own and not rush anything.

[Anonymous]

My son is like this. He’s 9 now.

We sign him up for 1-2 activities a season. We almost always align with a friend so he has a buddy. Quitting is not allowed.

Screens, tv/computer/etc, are never allowed until after dinner.

OP, does your son resist play dates too? Or just structured activities? I would encourage more play dates to strengthen friendships with kids from school and then sign up for after-school activities AT SCHOOL with those preferred friends. At school was key for us in the primary years - no chance to come home and get comfy and complain about having to go out again.

[Anonymous]

I'll chime in to say that you might have better luck cultivating specific interests at home/on the weekends and then enrolling in enrichment outside of the home instead of just exposing him to one thing after another and hooping one sticks. My oldest would do a different class every day of the week, but my youngest is much more reluctant. He needs to have a good deal of exposure to something before he is willing to engage.

[Anonymous]

He needs parental attention. The activities that you are doing is to make your life easier. They are a form of baby-sitting. He wants time with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We signed up for many activities for DS6 and had him dabble in them —including flag football, soccer, cub scouts, swimming, piano, chess, etc. He invariably complains and whines about participating in any of these. We are not pushy parents so we let him quit after a few weeks or months. He also complains about school and afterschool latchkey program. His ideal day is staying at home to goof off, scribble pictures and letters (but he is neither artistic nor literary) , and watch TV if possible— we usually restrict screen time. We thought he might at least enjoy doing *one* thing so we went the route of trying a bunch of things and seeing what sticks, but he really dislikes every activity outside of home, so far. Has anyone successfully overcome this issue? I.e. have your kids learned to start liking an activity after initially hating it?

Ha, I could’ve written this a few years back. I definitely worried about it with each of my multiple kids. Yes, they outgrew it. One child seemed to have some kind of anxiety that once outgrown led to more confidence. The other was just tired after a full day of school and aftercare. The third didn’t seem to have any issue, which maybe led to my worrying the most. Because each of the issues were different, I worried each time. I did make each child choose at least one activity each season and keep it for the season. I also kept screen time down, so lots of time for potential boredom. By the time each child was 8/9, we ended up with the opposite challenge. The kids had too many activities and it was too difficult to coordinate rides, plus it was costly. By fifth grade, they evened out a bit, then middle school was like a vortex where kids recommitted to some favorite activities but also switched. Come high school they were all passionate and highly accomplished in their chosen activities.

[Anonymous]

“We are not pushy parents so we let him quit after a few weeks or months.”

If he’s in a once a week activity and he quits by week 3, of course he won’t get decent at anything and won’t like it. Push through until the end of that activity, at least. My kindergartener took 11 week tennis and he knew before signing up that he’d be obligated to stay enrolled for the whole session.

You also listed a bunch of group activities that are probably somewhat chaotic, loud, or disorienting: Scouts, soccer, swim, after school program. After being in school all day (a lot of noise and stimulation), those activities may be too much. The quieter activities you chose (piano, chess), he may simply be too young to appreciate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a lazy bum

My 7yo is a lazy bum too. We make him choose a few activities mixed with a few days of downtime. Sometimes he complains but he knows he has to finish out the term/season and then he gets to choose new activities next season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We signed up for many activities for DS6 and had him dabble in them —including flag football, soccer, cub scouts, swimming, piano, chess, etc. He invariably complains and whines about participating in any of these. We are not pushy parents so we let him quit after a few weeks or months. He also complains about school and afterschool latchkey program. His ideal day is staying at home to goof off, scribble pictures and letters (but he is neither artistic nor literary) , and watch TV if possible— we usually restrict screen time. We thought he might at least enjoy doing *one* thing so we went the route of trying a bunch of things and seeing what sticks, but he really dislikes every activity outside of home, so far. Has anyone successfully overcome this issue? I.e. have your kids learned to start liking an activity after initially hating it?

So why not an art class? St this age a good class will try out all sorts of media from drawing to sculpting etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We signed up for many activities for DS6 and had him dabble in them —including flag football, soccer, cub scouts, swimming, piano, chess, etc. He invariably complains and whines about participating in any of these. We are not pushy parents so we let him quit after a few weeks or months. He also complains about school and afterschool latchkey program. His ideal day is staying at home to goof off, scribble pictures and letters (but he is neither artistic nor literary) , and watch TV if possible— we usually restrict screen time. We thought he might at least enjoy doing *one* thing so we went the route of trying a bunch of things and seeing what sticks, but he really dislikes every activity outside of home, so far. Has anyone successfully overcome this issue? I.e. have your kids learned to start liking an activity after initially hating it?

Those activities are all extremely male-centric. Could your child be dissatisfied with their assigned gender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop letting him quit after a few weeks etc. Make him stick to it.. he might find he likes it.

Wait - what about respecting his rights? How about truly seeing, valuing and honoring his diversity of views and preferences as a person ??

I mean, who are you to tell him what to do, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We signed up for many activities for DS6 and had him dabble in them —including flag football, soccer, cub scouts, swimming, piano, chess, etc. He invariably complains and whines about participating in any of these. We are not pushy parents so we let him quit after a few weeks or months. He also complains about school and afterschool latchkey program. His ideal day is staying at home to goof off, scribble pictures and letters (but he is neither artistic nor literary) , and watch TV if possible— we usually restrict screen time. We thought he might at least enjoy doing *one* thing so we went the route of trying a bunch of things and seeing what sticks, but he really dislikes every activity outside of home, so far. Has anyone successfully overcome this issue? I.e. have your kids learned to start liking an activity after initially hating it?

Those activities are all extremely male-centric. Could your child be dissatisfied with their assigned gender?

Yeah, maybe have him try ballet. That'll probably solve everything