Child dislikes all activities outside of home

[Anonymous]

We signed up for many activities for DS6 and had him dabble in them —including flag football, soccer, cub scouts, swimming, piano, chess, etc. He invariably complains and whines about participating in any of these. We are not pushy parents so we let him quit after a few weeks or months. He also complains about school and afterschool latchkey program. His ideal day is staying at home to goof off, scribble pictures and letters (but he is neither artistic nor literary) , and watch TV if possible— we usually restrict screen time. We thought he might at least enjoy doing *one* thing so we went the route of trying a bunch of things and seeing what sticks, but he really dislikes every activity outside of home, so far. Has anyone successfully overcome this issue? I.e. have your kids learned to start liking an activity after initially hating it?

[Anonymous]

My son was like that and I now realize how stressful that first year of school was for him. Most parents have no idea how restrictive the school environment is. Not all teachers and staff are kind and understanding. Life is easier for kinders but still it’s a lot of sitting, following directions, listening, etc.
In hindsight I should have kept him home after school.
It took him a while to shake that stress off.
He started slowly coming back to his usual self in about 5th grade!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a lazy bum

[Anonymous]

My daughter has always been anxious and a homebody. We would travel to grandparents, who she loves, but after a day she was desperate to go home. Never wanted to try activities, reluctantly went along with a few but was never into any of them.

She's 9 now and the anxiety is controlled and she's starting to ask to try new activities. Nothing has stuck for more than a season/session, but I am fine with that, as long as she's participating in something.

So I think the answer can be time, maturity, or addressing any underlying reasons they might be reluctant. I would encourage to to encourage him to stick out a full session though. Sign up for classes that are only 6 weeks so that they don't drag on if he doesn't like like it.

[Anonymous]

Can you do an activity with him - as a family? Many martial arts dojos have family classes. You could also do a weekly hike, swim or bike ride. Even better, invite a school friend for the weekly activity.

[Anonymous]

Take a break from the activities. You named a lot for a 6 year old.

[Anonymous]

No screens after school. Pick a music and a sport and stick with it, like it or not, for at least a year or two. Doing too many different things can mean he never feels accomplished or good at anything. Even if he complains about something, I’ve found after a while (sometimes long while) kids will start seeing their progress and becoming proud of progress and that motivates them and makes it fun

[Anonymous]

You have to stick with something for him to learn to enjoy it or at least if you don’t want him to learn whining gets him out of doing things. That’s pretty much the lesson you’ve taught him so far in life. I’d cut screens completely, get him out doing things as a family, sign him up for an activity and make him follow through. Start with a short activity like a week long day camp and work up from there. If you continue allowing him to act this way you’ll have a hermit teenager with no social skills that can manipulate you better than he’s doing now (and he’s doing pretty good for age 6).

[Anonymous]

He's only 6 and in school and after school care. Maybe he just needs and values the down time at home since it's limited.

This is not a critique, I'm a working mom with kids in care as well, and also struggle with this balance. Where I've come down with my now-8 year old is that he can only stand one activity at a time, but we need to sign him up for a sport and drag him to the park or hiking every weekend because otherwise he's just not getting enough exercise to stay healthy. So that's our current baseline but we're ok with him not excelling at extracurricular stuff, we're not making him learn music even though I kind if wish he had an interest, etc.

[Anonymous]

I know kids like this. They hate everything according to their parents and they are no longer 6, but 8 or 10, and still the same. The parents keep trying new things and the kids go once or twice "hate it" then quit. I think the kids realize they don't really have to do it if they don't feel like it and the parents don't want an argument. I would make my kids see it through especially if it was a short season of 8 weeks long. Some kids need to be pushed out of their comfort zone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a lazy bum

He's six!

[Anonymous]

I think you need to push him to stay with it. I had a lot of anxiety and wanted to quit after the first game/practice all the time. My parents said that if I chose an activity and they paid that I needed to follow it through. I think it was good advice for life. There's tons of stuff that I hate doing as an adult, but you learn to just do it and get over the anxiety.

For instance public speaking. I used to get sick before hand and would freeze up. I LOVE my job and it requires public speaking. I just power through it. It never gets easier (which was what I thought would happen), but I just keep going.

[Anonymous]

He’s really young and already has a long day with aftercare. I would give him some time before pushing activities. We did not do much in early elementary, focusing instead on time to play outside in the neighborhood and family trips to playgrounds, nature centers, museums. By late elementary/middle my kids were doing more than we could handle and I’m nostalgic about those slow paced early years.

I’m all for exposing kids to stuff, and see va

[Anonymous]

I really think it's a bad habit to always let him quit. Quitting should be a last resort for major issues. Sign him up for one thing that he's interested in and then he needs to complete the season.

[Anonymous]

And see value in committing to activities and developing competence, as a PP mentioned, but there’s plenty of time for that if your son seems to need downtime now. He’s still so young!