Then 2023 Lottery disappointment thread

[Anonymous]

Straight A student at Deal. Waitlisted at privates, waitlisted at walls, number too high to get in. Headed to Jackson Reed and so disappointed. DC is so bored and unchallenged at Deal and I worry it’ll be more of the same at JR. I feel like we failed DC. We are willing to make the financial sacrifice for private but I feel like that whole process was a waste of time and that system is rigged against kids coming from DCPS unless they are a star athlete or have another “hook”.

Thank you for letting me join the pity party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, but I gotta ask: your kid is “miserable” in kindergarten and you’re blaming the school? That’s a lot to pin on a school.

Disagree. Lots of bad Ks out there--age-inappropriate expetactions, yelling teachers, kids with scary behaviors, etc.

+1

+1 more
It happens often

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5th grader is miserable at her current school due to bullying. We were waitlisted across the board for privates and the best WL we have is for the lottery is above 60.

I guess we’ll look at moving but that’s easier said than done. I don’t know what we’ll do. We feel stuck.

I don't know what privates you applied to, but I would encourage you to reach out to some of the K-8 schools and see if they have flexibility or openings. We did, and found an amazing middle school experience.

St Patrick's might have spots - the rumor is they are under-enrolled. NPS only goes through 6 but they often lose kids in 3/4 to go to the the STA/NCS and Landon/Holton. It would only be for a year but its a small school and really caring so they might be a good fit and then you can work out a better situation for middle/high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Straight A student at Deal. Waitlisted at privates, waitlisted at walls, number too high to get in. Headed to Jackson Reed and so disappointed. DC is so bored and unchallenged at Deal and I worry it’ll be more of the same at JR. I feel like we failed DC. We are willing to make the financial sacrifice for private but I feel like that whole process was a waste of time and that system is rigged against kids coming from DCPS unless they are a star athlete or have another “hook”.

Thank you for letting me join the pity party.

What number waitlist at Walls? FWIW it really sounds like JR has lots of good options for high flyers - and a strong cohort at that level. I don't think your kid will be bored there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Straight A student at Deal. Waitlisted at privates, waitlisted at walls, number too high to get in. Headed to Jackson Reed and so disappointed. DC is so bored and unchallenged at Deal and I worry it’ll be more of the same at JR. I feel like we failed DC. We are willing to make the financial sacrifice for private but I feel like that whole process was a waste of time and that system is rigged against kids coming from DCPS unless they are a star athlete or have another “hook”.

Thank you for letting me join the pity party.

What privates? Some waitlists move so it might be worth following up. And a lot of privates have more of a waitpool over a waitlist. But that is the hard part of private admissions, you really have to match what they want and need because they design their classes. And I've found you basically compete with any other student from your school or DCPS who are applying and have the same profile. I would definitely follow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High school aged kid not even waitlisted at top three choices, deemed "ineligible" at all three application schools, not even granted an interview.

I feel bad for him. He's a great kid who's current school is begging him to stay. He's just weary of the bullying and drug use there.

Told him at midnight. Will try to look at moving options or privates.

So sorry OP we are in the same boat, ineligible to our top 2 schools with no reason given for our top choice. Waitlisted at our 3rd choice. Our child is heartbroken.

[Anonymous]

I think my DD is still sad about being shut out of Basis several years past the lottery...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Ugh, my DH and I just had this argument, basically. I want to go, he wants to stick it out. I guess it's a matter of opinion. I think the uncertainty and stress is bad for me and the kids, he thinks it's not a big deal and that kids adjust. No one has a crystal ball. I do the vast majority of the work around the lottery and school in general (so the negatives of our current school impact me a lot more). But we can't agree to move so I guess we won't. I'll be back on this board in a year and maybe I won't be in the "disappointment" thread again. Or maybe I will be.

I hate it, I get why the lottery is an improvement over the old system but I don't think it's a great system either. The real issues seems to be that there are too few spots at successful schools, full stop. We're all competing for too few spots at too few schools. Or there are too many struggling schools. I don't know. I am not looking for the Harvard of schools, but I want one that doesn't have major issues and it feels like that's hard in this city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, but I gotta ask: your kid is “miserable” in kindergarten and you’re blaming the school? That’s a lot to pin on a school.

Disagree. Lots of bad Ks out there--age-inappropriate expetactions, yelling teachers, kids with scary behaviors, etc.

+1

+1 more
It happens often

OP here and thank you. I don't just "blame the school" but yes -- it has been a rough year because there is very little joy in that classroom, lots of behavioral issues which leads to very strict rules and tons of class "punishments" that just suck all the pleasure out of what should actually not be a horrible chore (learning reading and other useful, basic skills in a classroom of peers). My kid is a happy kid generally but regularly says she hates school and doesn't want to go. She'll come home after school and I'll ask what the best and worst parts of her day were, and she often struggles to come up with a best. Often it's something like "when something bad happened, I didn't get too disappointed like I did last time." It's really hard to hear. She also complains about stuff a lot and while some of it is normal kid complaints where I'm like "that's just how life is" some of them are things that I actually do think are dumb rules that don't make sense. Like they regularly punish the kids by not letting them go out for recess. These kids are 5/6 years old and they are in a classroom all day. They need to run around. It is cutting off your nose to spite your face to use the small amount of free play/outdoor time they are allocated as a tool for punishment. It's just going to result in more bad behavior.

So yeah, I'm not enthusiastic about staying at this school another year. Maybe next year's teacher will be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Ugh, my DH and I just had this argument, basically. I want to go, he wants to stick it out. I guess it's a matter of opinion. I think the uncertainty and stress is bad for me and the kids, he thinks it's not a big deal and that kids adjust. No one has a crystal ball. I do the vast majority of the work around the lottery and school in general (so the negatives of our current school impact me a lot more). But we can't agree to move so I guess we won't. I'll be back on this board in a year and maybe I won't be in the "disappointment" thread again. Or maybe I will be.

I hate it, I get why the lottery is an improvement over the old system but I don't think it's a great system either. The real issues seems to be that there are too few spots at successful schools, full stop. We're all competing for too few spots at too few schools. Or there are too many struggling schools. I don't know. I am not looking for the Harvard of schools, but I want one that doesn't have major issues and it feels like that's hard in this city.

Another family in the throes of this discussion. I also want to go and husband was initially against it. He seems to be coming around. My biggest argument is some degree of continuity for the kids. I seriously hate this lottery every year or just deal with whatever. So it is either move or private for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Thank you for the post. For those of us with littler kids, what kind of groundwork do you suggest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5th grader is miserable at her current school due to bullying. We were waitlisted across the board for privates and the best WL we have is for the lottery is above 60.

I guess we’ll look at moving but that’s easier said than done. I don’t know what we’ll do. We feel stuck.

I don't know what privates you applied to, but I would encourage you to reach out to some of the K-8 schools and see if they have flexibility or openings. We did, and found an amazing middle school experience.

St Patrick's might have spots - the rumor is they are under-enrolled. NPS only goes through 6 but they often lose kids in 3/4 to go to the the STA/NCS and Landon/Holton. It would only be for a year but its a small school and really caring so they might be a good fit and then you can work out a better situation for middle/high.

Small Catholic schools can be a good option. We made that move and are very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Ugh, my DH and I just had this argument, basically. I want to go, he wants to stick it out. I guess it's a matter of opinion. I think the uncertainty and stress is bad for me and the kids, he thinks it's not a big deal and that kids adjust. No one has a crystal ball. I do the vast majority of the work around the lottery and school in general (so the negatives of our current school impact me a lot more). But we can't agree to move so I guess we won't. I'll be back on this board in a year and maybe I won't be in the "disappointment" thread again. Or maybe I will be.

I hate it, I get why the lottery is an improvement over the old system but I don't think it's a great system either. The real issues seems to be that there are too few spots at successful schools, full stop. We're all competing for too few spots at too few schools. Or there are too many struggling schools. I don't know. I am not looking for the Harvard of schools, but I want one that doesn't have major issues and it feels like that's hard in this city.

Another family in the throes of this discussion. I also want to go and husband was initially against it. He seems to be coming around. My biggest argument is some degree of continuity for the kids. I seriously hate this lottery every year or just deal with whatever. So it is either move or private for us.

We're another family that's having this discussion. DH would be happy to go and put an end to the stress and uncertainty, but I'm resisting until our current school stops working for us (if it even does, if not middle school will be the issue). But I also second guess our situation and wonder whether we're settling and compromising too much. I don't think we are, at least not in early elementary, but the grass is always greener... Regardless, we have one child so can be a bit more flexible and nimble in our decision making than if we were considering the needs of multiple kids.

One thing I do feel confident in is that "losing the lottery" actually gives you more perspective to look critically at your school and future school choices. I have plenty of friends that "won" the lottery and are now struggling with various issues at their schools, but feel compelled to turn a blind eye or make it work. Or feeling less confident with their feeder middle school than they were in pre-K, but don't know if it's worth moving or lotterying again. I think that's just the nature of school choice in DC and the only way to escape it is to move (out of DC or to Ward 3) or private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed. We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids. We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school. We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system. I will say that we vastly under-estimated it. If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education!

Thank you for the post. For those of us with littler kids, what kind of groundwork do you suggest?

NP-and I totally agree with the PP. My DS is happily adjusted in a stable DC HS. But good Lord...the stress to get to this point. If I had to do it again, I'd really push to move. I just don't think it's worth all the added stress to raise a kid(s) in this city. There are positives and negatives to living in city/suburbs and nothing is perfect. There are trade-offs. But I would happily trade off the stress of navigating this insane educational system.

We've always been strategizing and always had a plan B: going the private route. If you plan on going the private route--you will likely need to do that earlier than anticipated, as there are shrinking spots in DMV privates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP, but I gotta ask: your kid is “miserable” in kindergarten and you’re blaming the school? That’s a lot to pin on a school.

Disagree. Lots of bad Ks out there--age-inappropriate expetactions, yelling teachers, kids with scary behaviors, etc.

+1

+1 more
It happens often

OP here and thank you. I don't just "blame the school" but yes -- it has been a rough year because there is very little joy in that classroom, lots of behavioral issues which leads to very strict rules and tons of class "punishments" that just suck all the pleasure out of what should actually not be a horrible chore (learning reading and other useful, basic skills in a classroom of peers). My kid is a happy kid generally but regularly says she hates school and doesn't want to go. She'll come home after school and I'll ask what the best and worst parts of her day were, and she often struggles to come up with a best. Often it's something like "when something bad happened, I didn't get too disappointed like I did last time." It's really hard to hear. She also complains about stuff a lot and while some of it is normal kid complaints where I'm like "that's just how life is" some of them are things that I actually do think are dumb rules that don't make sense. Like they regularly punish the kids by not letting them go out for recess. These kids are 5/6 years old and they are in a classroom all day. They need to run around. It is cutting off your nose to spite your face to use the small amount of free play/outdoor time they are allocated as a tool for punishment. It's just going to result in more bad behavior.

So yeah, I'm not enthusiastic about staying at this school another year. Maybe next year's teacher will be better.

I'm who you quoted and I wonder if you are at the charter we were at. There are a lot of similarities. We gave 2 years to a charter before we decided to pull out because my child was miserable. It just wasn't the right fit at all and things like taking away recess for punishment is the straw that broke the camel's back. We even brought our concerns to the teachers and leadership, but then leadership changed. My son was 3 and 4 at the time and we were also hearing I hate school often. Definitely isn't the impression I wanted left on him when, at his age, school is only supposed to be something to look forward to.