Reply to Then 2023 Lottery disappointment thread

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry for all those families who are disappointed.  We have been there; we now have middle and high school aged kids.  We have somehow made it work but it has involved a lot of compromise.

In retrospect, I wish we had left DC when the kids were in elementary school.  We didn't have a good feeder pattern and knew we couldn't afford private so were relying on luck. For those who aren't happy with the results and don't have a path through high school (whatever it may be, privates, feeder pattern, etc), I'd strongly encourage you to think about your ability to absorb stress from this process and your ability to tolerate the risk that comes from a luck-based system.  I will say that we vastly under-estimated it.  If you're uncertain about your capacity, then I'd start thinking about moving (whether that be to a good DC feeder pattern or outside of DC) and start laying the groundwork to make that happen. There's just so much that you can't control about life so trying to be honest about your capacity and taking steps in light of that seems prudent to me now as I look back. It feels like a lot of work now when there's the glimmer of hope that it will all work out and you're already feeling pressed, but I feel confident that the odds are that the hard work now of making a change will pay off.

Good luck to all trying to give their kids a good education![/quote]

Ugh, my DH and I just had this argument, basically. I want to go, he wants to stick it out. I guess it's a matter of opinion. I think the uncertainty and stress is bad for me and the kids, he thinks it's not a big deal and that kids adjust. No one has a crystal ball. I do the vast majority of the work around the lottery and school in general (so the negatives of our current school impact me a lot more). But we can't agree to move so I guess we won't. I'll be back on this board in a year and maybe I won't be in the "disappointment" thread again. Or maybe I will be.

I hate it, I get why the lottery is an improvement over the old system but I don't think it's a great system either. The real issues seems to be that there are too few spots at successful schools, full stop. We're all competing for too few spots at too few schools. Or there are too many struggling schools. I don't know. I am not looking for the Harvard of schools, but I want one that doesn't have major issues and it feels like that's hard in this city.[/quote]

Another family in the throes of this discussion. I also want to go and husband was initially against it. He seems to be coming around. My biggest argument is some degree of continuity for the kids. I seriously hate this lottery every year or just deal with whatever. So it is either move or private for us. [/quote]

We're another family that's having this discussion. DH would be happy to go and put an end to the stress and uncertainty, but I'm resisting until our current school stops working for us (if it even does, if not middle school will be the issue). But I also second guess our situation and wonder whether we're settling and compromising too much. I don't think we are, at least not in early elementary, but the grass is always greener... Regardless, we have one child so can be a bit more flexible and nimble in our decision making than if we were considering the needs of multiple kids.

One thing I do feel confident in is that "losing the lottery" actually gives you more perspective to look critically at your school and future school choices. I have plenty of friends that "won" the lottery and are now struggling with various issues at their schools, but feel compelled to turn a blind eye or make it work. Or feeling less confident with their feeder middle school than they were in pre-K, but don't know if it's worth moving or lotterying again. I think that's just the nature of school choice in DC and the only way to escape it is to move (out of DC or to Ward 3) or private. [/quote]

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