Husband refuses to “play” with kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s fine not to “play” meaning sitting on the floor making silly voices or pretending to eat play food.

BUT he should be able to supervise her while she is not contained in a high chair or stroller. Meaning, he’s actively paying attention to her, talking to her, and tending to her needs while SHE plays. It’s boring, yes, but required of parenting.

If he can’t do the second part, you have a problem.

+1 He doesn’t have to play but he should take her for walks, teach her to help with chores, supervise her on the playground, etc.

OP said he doesn’t want to parent unless child is contained. If she is roaming around free range then not for him. He would have to watch her closely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Playing with kids (especially toddlers) is so boring. He should put her in a childproofed room and let her explore while he does whatever in the same room.

Sorry, but that's sad. It's like he can't be bothered to engage with her. That is incredibly sad.

Neither DH nor I are kiddie people, but we both engaged with our kids when they were little, even if it's just reading to them, or as OP said, playing ball with them or blowing bubbles.

IMO, men like these can't be bothered to do something that they don't like with their kids. Sorry, but when you have children, you are signing up for a whole lot of "doing something I don't like".

I disagree. I am a very involved parent. I didn’t play with my kids much. But I cooked with them and took them to the zoo and museums and help with homework every day and drive them everywhere and make all of their food and read them books. I am the Girl Scouts leader and room parent and soccer coach. But I rarely played with them.

So you l basically “played” with them. Cooked, zoo, reading, engaging them outside of a strapped in container.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men don't relate to little kids. Kids under 4 or 5. But he'll take a load off when the kid is a teen and you can't handle the kid.

This is a long road, OP. Don't force to play with a 2-year-old and he'll step in when the kid is older and you can't deal.

A lot of women don’t relate to little kids either. I don’t play with my kids at all.

[Anonymous]

I never "played" with my kids but I was an engaged father. I took them to playgrounds and helped them climb on things, pushed swings, and so on. Now they are elementary age and we do all kinds of stuff, like go to places to see and learn and have fun. But I don't play dolls with them and they don't want me to.

Father and mothers don't have to have exactly the same type of relationship with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men don't relate to little kids. Kids under 4 or 5. But he'll take a load off when the kid is a teen and you can't handle the kid.

This is a long road, OP. Don't force to play with a 2-year-old and he'll step in when the kid is older and you can't deal.

A lot of women don’t relate to little kids either. I don’t play with my kids at all.

Same, I don’t “play” with my kids. That is such new and weak parenting. I include them in things (engage), and help them get tools to play/color/etc. it is ridiculous to “play” all the time. Children love to be included on adult things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men don't relate to little kids. Kids under 4 or 5. But he'll take a load off when the kid is a teen and you can't handle the kid.

This is a long road, OP. Don't force to play with a 2-year-old and he'll step in when the kid is older and you can't deal.

A lot of women don’t relate to little kids either. I don’t play with my kids at all.

Same, I don’t “play” with my kids. That is such new and weak parenting. I include them in things (engage), and help them get tools to play/color/etc. it is ridiculous to “play” all the time. Children love to be included on adult things.

Fine, that style doesn't work for you, but don't pretend you actually know what it means to play with your child. And no, it is not new. I'm an older Xer.

[Anonymous]

Would he push her to a playground in a car like this?

https://www.amazon.com/Step2-Push-Around-Buggy-Anniversary/dp/B004Y8TF96/ref=asc_df_B004Y8TF96/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167120986970&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8163522838184283083&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007862&hvtargid=pla-275338253188&psc=1

Maybe he just really know what to do.

[Anonymous]

I never played with my kids when they were little either. My husband did though, he liked it. I would have them in the same room, playing, while I did other things. He can do that.

It is interesting, however, that so many people marry someone without observing how they would interact with babies and young children. Seems like a basic bit of info one ought to have before marrying.

[Anonymous]

Who is teaching your kid how to knead playdoh? And color? And use their imagination? Let me guess…Ms. rachel? How is teaching your kid how to play is seen as weak?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never played with my kids when they were little either. My husband did though, he liked it. I would have them in the same room, playing, while I did other things. He can do that.

It is interesting, however, that so many people marry someone without observing how they would interact with babies and young children. Seems like a basic bit of info one ought to have before marrying.

Most people dont pay attention to other people’s kids to even know if they’re good at it. I never held a baby before having my own. As a matter of fact I dont like other people’s kids. Most people dont care to pay attention to kids besides their own.

[Anonymous]

Can he read her bedtime stories? I remember my father doing that and it's one of my best memories. I don't remember him actively playing with me, ever. Sometimes it's about finding the thing the adult is comfortable with which will benefit the child.

[Anonymous]

I’ll feeling really grateful for my husband, reading this thread. He works 60+ hours a week and I’m temporarily a SAHM. Neither of us particularly enjoys toddler pretend play (does anyone??), but we do it because as a pp says it’s a required part of parenting for your child’s development. And actually, my husband is way better at creative pretend play than I am. He makes up better characters and back stories, builds more interesting block structures with her, comes up with better rhymes, etc. I do 80% of hours logged but his 20% is high quality. I feel sorry for women and children with such lame husbands and dads who think being a man means no actual patenting.

[Anonymous]

I'm the same way (and I'm a mom, fwiw). I don't like getting on the floor to play toddler games. I focus on doing the things that I don't mind as much, like coloring, or going to the playground.

We are one of the first generations that thinks it's important to play with your child all the time. It's a little much, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. I didn’t enjoy playing with my kids. Playing with a 2 year old is not that fun. I preferred to take them somewhere.

I always laugh at the parents (and on DCUM, it’s often moms, not just dads and “men are just different”) who say they “don’t enjoy playing with their kids.” No s**t, Sherlock. Playing Candyland or dollhouse or pretend isn’t SUPPOSED to be “fun” for you, an adult. You do it for the children you chose to bring into the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Playing with kids (especially toddlers) is so boring. He should put her in a childproofed room and let her explore while he does whatever in the same room.

Sorry, but that's sad. It's like he can't be bothered to engage with her. That is incredibly sad.

Neither DH nor I are kiddie people, but we both engaged with our kids when they were little, even if it's just reading to them, or as OP said, playing ball with them or blowing bubbles.

IMO, men like these can't be bothered to do something that they don't like with their kids. Sorry, but when you have children, you are signing up for a whole lot of "doing something I don't like".

Nailed it.