Why bias against male babysitters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a thread last week about male babysitters. I can’t find it and don’t know where moved or zapped.

I have two boys about to become teenagers. They have shown an interest in babysitting to earn some money. I hope there truly isn’t a bias against boys. That’s what I and my spouse had growing up! Had the best times too!

Of course there is a bias, well justified as explained by PPs. You should also worry about accusations against your boys. If they want to earn money in childcare they should look for jobs at camps, daycare and preschool, after school programs, and other supervised settings.

FWIW I think teen male role models are really important (and always beloved at camps and preschools) and I applaud your boys for expressing interest. I hope they pursue those jobs. But I would not hire a male babysitter in my home. Just statistically they are not as safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have boys and would never hire a male babysitter. Family member was molested by a male babysitter.
As much as I hate to admit it, I was a middle/high school teacher and a not insignificant number of male teachers I worked with were total creeps. Not that i think the majority would have done anything with students but my 60yo married student teaching mentor made (physical) moves on me as well as other much older married teachers throughout my time in education. I have never experienced this much in other scenarios.

Oh- and when I reported the scenario with that student teaching mentor to the male college employee in charge (former elementary school principal) he shrugged and said 'what do you expect?'

Not to derail but at my high school my gym teacher had slept with (raped) a high school student - he was suspended and had just come back when I started 9th grade. Another one of my teachers (11th grade science) was married to a former student. And my 9th grade English teacher was very flirty and talked about sex with me.

Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bc it’s odd that a teenage boy would genuinely want to take care of little kids.

I will never have a male babysitter.

Huh? My 16yo DS loves little kids. My 12yto Do you want can't stand them.

The PP didn't say it was unheard of. But you do understand that typically, it's girls that show an interest in babysitting and not boys, right?

[Anonymous]

It is assumed that pedophiles make up under 1% of the general population, but that doesn't mean that you have < 1/100 chance of selecting a pedophile babysitter. It's estimated that between 96% to 99% of convicted child sex offenders are male. We know that many pedophiles try to gain access to children, so if you take a selection of males who want to babysit, you would find a much higher percentage of those males are pedophiles than the general population. It's self-selection. So #notallmen, but the ones who actively pursue babysitting are more likely than the general population.

[Anonymous]

It’s not just about abuse. Boys make more bad decision.

[Anonymous]

I had almost exclusively male babysitters as a child. I'm an only and female. A number of them were black male babysitters - Arnel, Jordan, and Chan (if you guys are out there, love you!). I'm not black. Those kids were great. My parents knew their parents and it worked out.

I have only boys and have hired many teen boys as babysitters. They've been just as trustworthy as the girls. I know their parents.

It really depends on the individual and it's important not to stereotype individuals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had almost exclusively male babysitters as a child. I'm an only and female. A number of them were black male babysitters - Arnel, Jordan, and Chan (if you guys are out there, love you!). I'm not black. Those kids were great. My parents knew their parents and it worked out.

I have only boys and have hired many teen boys as babysitters. They've been just as trustworthy as the girls. I know their parents.

It really depends on the individual and it's important not to stereotype individuals.

I'm so glad you have had good experiences. I agree with the stereotyping to a certain extent because it can be a slippery slope.... HOWEVER, some of the offenders I have known in my time included a beloved middle school principal who was secretly videotaping boys changing in the locker room and a seemingly normal teenager who came from a great family. I think there is a false sense of security sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is assumed that pedophiles make up under 1% of the general population, but that doesn't mean that you have < 1/100 chance of selecting a pedophile babysitter. It's estimated that between 96% to 99% of convicted child sex offenders are male. We know that many pedophiles try to gain access to children, so if you take a selection of males who want to babysit, you would find a much higher percentage of those males are pedophiles than the general population. It's self-selection. So #notallmen, but the ones who actively pursue babysitting are more likely than the general population.

This reminds me of an internet brouhaha forever ago when an airline announced they wouldn't seat unaccompanied minors next to men on flights and people were OUTRAGED that men were being stereotyped. But if you dug into the data they based the decision on, the kids that were being sexually harassed and assaulted were *not* being assaulted by men they were randomly seated next to, it was men who saw an unaccompanied minor and volunteered to be seated next to them. Most men on an airplane are not creeps. Men raising their hand, unprompted, to be seated next to the most vulnerable travelers, are more likely to be creeps. Most men in life are not predators of children. Men actively seeking to be alone with children are more likely to be predators.

[Anonymous]

Very happy with my summer babysitter who is male, but it's reasonable to take precautions. Babysitter watches my child at the pool everyday. Less risk in a public place. Kid is also old enough to describe any uncomfortable situations or abuse and we have had a lot of conversations about privacy and appropriate behavior from adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a thread last week about male babysitters. I can’t find it and don’t know where moved or zapped.

I have two boys about to become teenagers. They have shown an interest in babysitting to earn some money. I hope there truly isn’t a bias against boys. That’s what I and my spouse had growing up! Had the best times too!

'

Is it the babysitting part or the money part that is most interesting to them? Your sons sound young and innocent. I would still steer them towards other ways to make money. Have they looked into dog walking or pet sitting?

[Anonymous]

My boys had male teachers at day care and preschool and we currently have a male au pair and babysitter.

[Anonymous]

The common logic problem... Most men are not pedophiles, but most pedophiles are men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys had male teachers at day care and preschool and we currently have a male au pair and babysitter.

There's a good chance that at least one of those is a pedophile.

[Anonymous]

My mom didn’t like the bias against male babysitters so we had a male babysitter and later found out he had molested several children and later went to prison. Obviously women are sometimes child molesters but it’s much, much more rare. As a parent you should not put your kids at greater risk of harm just because you think bias is unfair. I’m not particularly happy about the fact that my mom did that.

[Anonymous]

A few people contacted us about my son babysitting. We only allowed it in a public place - never in their home alone.

I wasn't going to let my son be falsely accused of something. Even though for the most part we knew the people asking. It just never seemed worth it.