Mean kids in PK - What's normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately it is somewhat typical for kids who grew up in rough circumstances

Lmao. The kids with silver spoons in their mouths also display mean and aggressive behaviors.

+1

The idea that kids who grew up in ‘rough circumstances’ are meaner than MC and UMC is such a stereotype veiled in racism. Kids of all backgrounds can be cruel but man some of those UMC kids are vicious and relentless.

I've taught in all kinds of school (Title I majority students of color public schools and crazy expensive almost all-white private schools) and BELIEVE ME: while there are often different trends in HOW the mean behavior manifests, the mean-ness and aggressiveness was at high levels in BOTH types of schools. Not all kids in either types of school are mean or physical, but it happened and was an issue and dynamic for other students in both kinds of schools. Consistently.

Same PP, forgot to say I agree with what the previous PP to me said, agree emphatically!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, say "mean behavior". There will definitely come a day when your kid is accused of doing something bad, and you'll appreciate the difference then. And remember, you are hearing your DD's perspective, and her feelings are real and no doubt she's being as accurate as a young child can, but there may be more context that you don't have.

You yourself sound like a gaslighting bully. You've talked yourself into thinking you're nice, but you're a mean person who's on the side of the mean kids.

Oh come on. These kids are 4. No one is a bully at that age. This is the age for learning how to interact with peers, not for being labeled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately it is somewhat typical for kids who grew up in rough circumstances

Lmao. The kids with silver spoons in their mouths also display mean and aggressive behaviors.

But it is not typical. Be real. Not in PK at least

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately it is somewhat typical for kids who grew up in rough circumstances

Lmao. The kids with silver spoons in their mouths also display mean and aggressive behaviors.

+1

The idea that kids who grew up in ‘rough circumstances’ are meaner than MC and UMC is such a stereotype veiled in racism. Kids of all backgrounds can be cruel but man some of those UMC kids are vicious and relentless.

They aren’t meaner. They grow up faster. They have to! No matter the race. It’s sad but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately it is somewhat typical for kids who grew up in rough circumstances

Lmao. The kids with silver spoons in their mouths also display mean and aggressive behaviors.

+1

The idea that kids who grew up in ‘rough circumstances’ are meaner than MC and UMC is such a stereotype veiled in racism. Kids of all backgrounds can be cruel but man some of those UMC kids are vicious and relentless.

I've taught in all kinds of school (Title I majority students of color public schools and crazy expensive almost all-white private schools) and BELIEVE ME: while there are often different trends in HOW the mean behavior manifests, the mean-ness and aggressiveness was at high levels in BOTH types of schools. Not all kids in either types of school are mean or physical, but it happened and was an issue and dynamic for other students in both kinds of schools. Consistently.

Yes but how does it look if you control for age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think sometimes parents of ece and elementary school children dont have a great understanding that the other children are also just kids and rarely being intentionally malicious. reports home even from very well-behaved children can be very one-sided and difficult to sort through

+1. In PK3, my son would tell me frequently about one particular girl who hit him sometimes, took his toys, was mean to him, etc. I was considering asking a teacher about it, and then one day when I was chatting with the teacher she mentioned that my son and the girl were best buddies and always paired up and gravitated towards each other. I realized that his stories of her "mean" behavior weren't because the girl was a bully or something, but because he was playing with her all day and they are 3yos so they got into arguments and stuff. It was kind of a paradigm shift for me.

[Anonymous]

Pre-K has been tough after COVID. Kids did not have experience being in groups at all. Kids had not visited other people's homes, gone to church, gone to library read a-louds, and many daycares were closed. I have seen a lot more defiant behavior than previously - a lot more. Students are not experienced with different sets of rules and expectations in different environments and more kids are spending time on devices. Also, children that had learning disabilities or behavioral problems were not caught by professionals earlier. Then, it takes months to years to work with 3 and 4 years old and determine the instruction they need. This is still playing out in pre-k, but to a lesser degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think sometimes parents of ece and elementary school children dont have a great understanding that the other children are also just kids and rarely being intentionally malicious. reports home even from very well-behaved children can be very one-sided and difficult to sort through

+1. In PK3, my son would tell me frequently about one particular girl who hit him sometimes, took his toys, was mean to him, etc. I was considering asking a teacher about it, and then one day when I was chatting with the teacher she mentioned that my son and the girl were best buddies and always paired up and gravitated towards each other. I realized that his stories of her "mean" behavior weren't because the girl was a bully or something, but because he was playing with her all day and they are 3yos so they got into arguments and stuff. It was kind of a paradigm shift for me.

Yes, this. My pre-k kid recently started talking about friends being “mean” to her and it took us a couple of weeks to put together that what she meant was that they were sometimes unwilling to do things her way. She likes to be in charge and is learning that you can’t make people do what you want all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD5 is in PK4 in DCPS. She's been reporting that several kids in her class (often together) have been being mean to her (knocking over her block towers and laughing about it, calling her names). She says the kids don't stop when she asks. When she tells the teacher and the teacher speaks to the other kids they say they'll stop but then start again once the teacher walks away, laughing the whole time. DD is a pretty reliable reporter and is extremely upset about the situation. She's a sensitive kid, independent, and has always been an old soul and the teacher mentioned at parent-teacher conferences that she's been an easy target for kids to pick on because she's not assertive. Is it normal for kids to behave like this towards their classmates in PK? Shouldn't the teacher be disciplining the kids who are repeatedly being unkind? Not sure what's normal for DCPS PK, but this doesn't seem right. Is it our school, our teacher, or should a just prepare my kid to have to put up with being treated like this? There are 15 kids in the class, a teacher, and a para.

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD5 is in PK4 in DCPS. She's been reporting that several kids in her class (often together) have been being mean to her (knocking over her block towers and laughing about it, calling her names). She says the kids don't stop when she asks. When she tells the teacher and the teacher speaks to the other kids they say they'll stop but then start again once the teacher walks away, laughing the whole time. DD is a pretty reliable reporter and is extremely upset about the situation. She's a sensitive kid, independent, and has always been an old soul and the teacher mentioned at parent-teacher conferences that she's been an easy target for kids to pick on because she's not assertive. Is it normal for kids to behave like this towards their classmates in PK? Shouldn't the teacher be disciplining the kids who are repeatedly being unkind? Not sure what's normal for DCPS PK, but this doesn't seem right. Is it our school, our teacher, or should a just prepare my kid to have to put up with being treated like this? There are 15 kids in the class, a teacher, and a para.

No

+1 not normal. Not sure why people here are trying to justify this behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD5 is in PK4 in DCPS. She's been reporting that several kids in her class (often together) have been being mean to her (knocking over her block towers and laughing about it, calling her names). She says the kids don't stop when she asks. When she tells the teacher and the teacher speaks to the other kids they say they'll stop but then start again once the teacher walks away, laughing the whole time. DD is a pretty reliable reporter and is extremely upset about the situation. She's a sensitive kid, independent, and has always been an old soul and the teacher mentioned at parent-teacher conferences that she's been an easy target for kids to pick on because she's not assertive. Is it normal for kids to behave like this towards their classmates in PK? Shouldn't the teacher be disciplining the kids who are repeatedly being unkind? Not sure what's normal for DCPS PK, but this doesn't seem right. Is it our school, our teacher, or should a just prepare my kid to have to put up with being treated like this? There are 15 kids in the class, a teacher, and a para.

No

+1 not normal. Not sure why people here are trying to justify this behavior.

No one is justifying the behavior. We are, however, pushing back against the narrative that this is what you should expect in public because this is what all DCPS schools are like and that rich preschoolers never have conflict. And a few people are saying that the kid might be an unreliable narrator, but I think they're off base because OP's (terrible) teacher confirms that this is happening repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD5 is in PK4 in DCPS. She's been reporting that several kids in her class (often together) have been being mean to her (knocking over her block towers and laughing about it, calling her names). She says the kids don't stop when she asks. When she tells the teacher and the teacher speaks to the other kids they say they'll stop but then start again once the teacher walks away, laughing the whole time. DD is a pretty reliable reporter and is extremely upset about the situation. She's a sensitive kid, independent, and has always been an old soul and the teacher mentioned at parent-teacher conferences that she's been an easy target for kids to pick on because she's not assertive. Is it normal for kids to behave like this towards their classmates in PK? Shouldn't the teacher be disciplining the kids who are repeatedly being unkind? Not sure what's normal for DCPS PK, but this doesn't seem right. Is it our school, our teacher, or should a just prepare my kid to have to put up with being treated like this? There are 15 kids in the class, a teacher, and a para.

No

+1 not normal. Not sure why people here are trying to justify this behavior.

Saying it's normal is not the same as justifying it.
It's still not ok; they need to be taught. If kids cant read, they're taught how to. If kids can't do math, they're taught how to do math. If kids can't be nice - we need to teach them.

[Anonymous]

Politically correct to say “mean behaviors” but seeing so many mean kids teasing and bullying others, political correctness goes out the window. Do parents influence their meanness?