can a college be too far away?

[Anonymous]

Many families are worried if kids go away they won’t return home. And that is likely. One went 2k miles away anc is 2 years out of college working 90 miles from the college.

My next was similar. My 3rd is 3k from home and will likely end up on that coast based on career choices.

We are fine with that and do not want to restrict our kids. My partner moved 10k miles for college and stayed in us. I’m 3 k from my parents, but it never occurred I needed to stay close by.
Caveat: we can afford to travel to family and/or have them travel to us.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My middle schooler is asking about Oxford. Yeah, no.

[Anonymous]

Putting costs aside for a moment, one of the things that bugged me as a parent of college applicants is if there was no direct flight from our large city to the school. Meaning, total travel time and hassle to get to the airport, take a connecting plane, then rent a car and get to the school.

I never thought this would bother me, but it's for a reason I never considered--I'd like to visit my kids periodically, and I'm so tired and worn out these days, I just want it to be easy.

I've never weighed in with this when it comes to my kids' college selections, but I think about it privately.

[Anonymous]

The Bakke decision stated that race or ethnicity could not be the only type of diversity that colleges could consider. I believe that geographic "diversity" became a popular alternative for colleges because:
a. It is less expensive (less financial aid $) for colleges than economic diversity
b. Benefits White people, as pp said.
c. Attracts more wealthy than poor people, because of the expense of travel

[Anonymous]

My parents set a three hour driving distance limit. We lived in eastern PA so I was in proximity to a ton of colleges anyway. I had to contribute to tuition so there wasn’t going to be money for a car at any point, let alone flights, and they weren’t willing to drive me back and forth.

[Anonymous]

My dd ended up about a 4 hour drive away. When she was thinking about schools I didn't put any arbitrary limits on geography, but gotta say I'm really glad she is someplace where we can be down and back on 1 day when needed. Our college facebook parent page is always overflowing with (totally understandable) stress about transportation, storage etc etc. And when medical issues have come up it is hugely reassuring to be able to get there without a flight if needed. So although I didn't plan to be I've become a big fan of going to college within a few hundred miles of home for practical reasons.

[Anonymous]

My kid wants to come home on some weekends because he’s very close to his siblings. Good for him, I say. I don’t see why people say they are ashamed to want to stay close to home.

[Anonymous]

We let our kids go anywhere. Our parents let us go anywhere. But I have a friend who's parents (back in 1980) pulled out a map and drew a circle that represented 300 miles. She had to attend inside the circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid wants to come home on some weekends because he’s very close to his siblings. Good for him, I say. I don’t see why people say they are ashamed to want to stay close to home.

If the kid wants that, I see no issue, but when it’s the parent saying they insist their kid stay close to home, it comes across as odd. However, since it’s consider impolite to discuss money, nobody wants to be the one to say “We don’t have the money for transportation.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My middle schooler is asking about Oxford. Yeah, no.

Might as well let them try - chances are very low they will be accepted - there's some similar discussion on this in MIT thread. Let the school say no!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Putting costs aside for a moment, one of the things that bugged me as a parent of college applicants is if there was no direct flight from our large city to the school. Meaning, total travel time and hassle to get to the airport, take a connecting plane, then rent a car and get to the school.

I never thought this would bother me, but it's for a reason I never considered--I'd like to visit my kids periodically, and I'm so tired and worn out these days, I just want it to be easy.

I've never weighed in with this when it comes to my kids' college selections, but I think about it privately.

I feel the same way. I like the idea that I can take a direct flight and get to the kid relatively quickly if there's a problem.

[Anonymous]

I went to a university on the East Coast from NM. My parents were broke so affording a plane ticket home was not possible. I lived in an apartment style dorm. I couldn’t afford to fly home for holidays, which was a problem because the dorms closed over Thanksgiving and Winter Break. The university would not let me stay. I had a roommate that took me home with her for Thanksgiving. Over winter break, I stayed with an ex-boyfriend who was going to school in NY. I really didn’t want to but it was that or a homeless shelter. If you’re poor or not UMC/rich, I would not recommend going to school across the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is academic since my kids are in middle school, but I constantly hear friends talk about vetoing certain colleges because they're across the country. Is this a thing these days? It wasn't a criteria for me or DH. Just idle curiosity!

Depends. If they are going to a top 20, it makes sense to go through the trouble . If its out of top 50, better stay at <5 hr drivable distance.

[Anonymous]

+1 for picking out of state schools where one or two large airports are within 1 hr drive, more flight options.

[Anonymous]

If far away school is free and nearby college $80K, probably worth the trouble.