Regrets about a third
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I was one of 2. My mom had an abortion with third. My sibling passed away and I wish every day that she had had the third. I am staunchly pro-chooce, btw. |
Anonymous
| Do consider some counseling, three children with an almost two year gap between #2 and #3 is not unusual at all. We had three because our planned second was unexpectedly twins. Ended up with three kids 3 and under. We had a very intense first three years due to medical needs for the babies, but there was also something freeing about paring away everything that wasn't essential (kids and work only for some time). I love the family dynamic with three children. |
Anonymous
| OP, it is normal to feel this way. I am a mom of 3 soon to be 4. I get how you are feeling. My DH and I work full-time and don’t have family or many friends around, but we make it work. We have a nanny that takes care of the two youngest ones while we go to work (which is more cost effective that paying for daycare). DH and I tag team during the week i.e cooking meals/watching the kids, etc. Our third has been a great addition to the family. Take it day by day. Enjoy your pregnancy and focus on what you can control. It all work out. |
Anonymous
| I felt a lot like you and was pretty seriously depressed during my third pregnancy. I thought a lot about giving the baby up for adoption but couldn’t figure out a way that wouldn’t be traumatizing for her and the older children. That was more than a decade ago, and I’m glad we have her. To be honest, the first few years were rough. At least for me, there was not just as easy as two, except for the infancy stage where I just lugged her around in the carrier all the time. It’s started to even out when the oldest hit teen years and was more independent, and it’s nice now to have one that isn’t a teen. Your experience may be easier than mine though — one of my kids has severe adhd and also my kids all have wildly different preferences so it makes it harder. I know lots of other families where the three all like the same thing and get along swimmingly so you may get lucky there. Good luck and hang in there! I hate pregnancy but babies are darling! |
Anonymous
|
I’m pregnant with my second and have major moments of regret. I try to see the upside in that—it means my current life makes me quite happy!
We were content as a family of three, decided to try (without really trying) for six months before my husband got circumcised, annnnnd got pregnant in the first month. I had thought, at the very least, I’d have a bit more time to adjust before getting pregnant  Turns out, not so much!
I think regrets are normal—and I’ve always been nervous about the idea of big change. I’d find something fun to focus your energy on for the baby. Right now, for me, it’s decorating its room as well as finding the motivation to fix a few other things up in the house! |
Anonymous
OMG it's not going to break your marriage. I promise you the 3rd child is going to be special. They always are. And to have kids close together is a blessing, though I get it won't feel that way immediately. My 3 are within 4 years of each other and I would 100% recommend it for a million reasons. OP, hang in there. Your feelings make sense but if you ask moms of 3, you'll always hear how great it is. |
Anonymous
|
OP, it's gonna be great. I'm rooting for you. Yes, it's hard when they are all young but now that my kids are older, I wish they were closer in age (rather than 3.5 years apart).
What do they say- they only way out is through? You can do it. Take it one day at a time. This is a blessing. Stay positive! |
Anonymous
I am very sorry for your loss but that is NOT your choice. My child gets zero say in how many siblings she does or doesn't have and that is how it should be. |