Do you know any women who successfully started the whole “marriage and kids” thing at 40+?

[Anonymous]

Not everyone using DE is telling the world about it. After 40… DE usually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meaning, not dating much until then.

What's the alternative? Never trying? If it's something they want then they should try it. If it works out, great. If not, its okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone using DE is telling the world about it. After 40… DE usually.

It’s highly individual and genetically predetermined. My grandmother and aunt had last kiss in early 40s naturally. I was able to get 4 genetically clean eggs at 45 that fertilized. We plan to use a surrogate to carry, too much risk loosing pregnancy if I carry on my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone using DE is telling the world about it. After 40… DE usually.

It’s highly individual and genetically predetermined. My grandmother and aunt had last kiss in early 40s naturally. I was able to get 4 genetically clean eggs at 45 that fertilized. We plan to use a surrogate to carry, too much risk loosing pregnancy if I carry on my own.

Had kids, auto correct is just silly !

[Anonymous]

i met My husband at 37, got married at 39 and had kids at 41 and 43. I am a but mommy tracked work wise now but totally ok with that - my 20s and most of my 30s were filled with career success and travel. So 14 years after I met my husband we are still happy so I guess I am as successful as anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone using DE is telling the world about it. After 40… DE usually.

Yes I agree with this, not that it matters. Also, I wish I could tell people do not bother freezing eggs if they are late 30s/ 40s. Younger eggs are much healthier and more likely to fertilize/create a viable pregnancy. We also found it is easier and cheaper to do DE than multiple rounds of IVF with own egg.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who got pregnant in college. Agreed to have child be adopted.

Got married right after college to someone else. Marriage ended in divorce. No kids. He had serious mental health issues and died young.

Met someone who had never married at 40. Got married at 41. H was 46. Didn't use birth control because didn't think she needed it. Five years after marrying, at the age of 46, she got pregnant. Totally natural and totally unplanned. Kid's in high school now. Healthy and happy.

[Anonymous]

My mom had me at 45, I was the youngest in a big family and a surprise. Dad was 50.

My dad was the only one at my high school event wearing a fedora and a London Fog windbreaker. The other parents addressed him as "Mr. -----", because they went to school with my siblings.

My mom was 65 when I started high school, nearly 70 when I graduated from high school, and 76 when I finished grad school (I took a break in there to work before grad school).

My mom retired at 65 but dad kept working to help me pay for undergrad. But I still needed school loans, I felt guilty for making my dad feel like he had to keep working at 70! I paid for my own grad school (e.g., more loans).

I loved my parents, they were great, having older parents who could have been my grandparents was what I knew. I learned so much from them. They said I kept them young. But picture yourself being the 63-year-old mom of a high school senior, and mixing with a bunch of 44-year-old moms. And not having much in retirement savings for yourself. Because that's the reality.

[Anonymous]

^My mom was *late 50s* when I started high school, nearly 64 when I graduated from high school, and around 70 when I finished grad school^

Sorry my math was off. On that note, my parents never understood my school assignments, math in particular. It had changed so much from when they were taught it was like a foreign language. And being older, they had very little patience or energy to learn it, teach it. They hadn't seen upper-level high school math in nearly 60 years. So I was on my own to figure it out. They couldn't help me. I had to find help.

Again, a dose of reality for you.

[Anonymous]

My mother got pregnant with me at 45, back before assisted reproduction was available. It happens.

Whether or not it happens occasionally is not a good guide for how to make choices though, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Freeze your eggs ASAP. Don’t think about it just do it.

When the latest you can freeze your eggs?

Like 35

A friend of mine froze hers at 40, and apparently she had a large reserve. Everyone is different.

Has she tried to use them yet? It is so incredibly unlikely that anyone (ANYONE) can freeze eggs at 40 and get a viable pregnancy from them. It’s not at all the same as getting naturally pregnant at 40, which we all know happens to some people sometimes.

I wouldn’t say that. I know from having done IVF at 38 and 39 they lots of eggs =/= great fertility, because a lot of the embryos will be aneuploid, but I think a 40yo with a good reserve (say 10 mature eggs from 1 cycle) would probably have around a 25% chance of a live birth from that one cycle. Definitely not the guarantee I think egg freezing is often billed as, but still a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^My mom was *late 50s* when I started high school, nearly 64 when I graduated from high school, and around 70 when I finished grad school^

Sorry my math was off. On that note, my parents never understood my school assignments, math in particular. It had changed so much from when they were taught it was like a foreign language. And being older, they had very little patience or energy to learn it, teach it. They hadn't seen upper-level high school math in nearly 60 years. So I was on my own to figure it out. They couldn't help me. I had to find help.

Again, a dose of reality for you.

Yes, all these women are on here giving the thumbs up but nobody wants to hear from the children of such old parents.

And all the descriptions of these old moms being happy but tired - well, most moms of all ages are happy and tired. Wait about 10-15 years and the cracks of these last ditch/ biological clock based marriages will be apparent. The divorce rates have simply been pushed up for these folks. Worse yet, they probably have to financially support their even older grandpa spouses.