Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree this is fake, the piece about the attorney GF getting the psychologist’s license revoked for billing practices sounds very very fake
No, it doesn't sound fake.
You have NO idea the horrendous things abusers pull in custody battles. ESPECIALLY those with unlimited/vast resources. And even worse when they are attorneys, doctors, etc.
OP, this is awful, I am so sorry for your cousin and her DS. The family court system is horribly broken and is not equipped to deal with abusers like your cousin's ex and his wife. This same terrible story is being played out over and over again all of over the country and the world. Thankfully the media is slowly (very slowly) starting to shine a light on this issue, but actual change is still likely decades away.
Can you help your cousin financially in this nightmare fight? She needs to find an attorney in her state who is experienced in **post-separation abuse/coercive control** - this is KEY. Do research on all of this - there is a lot more out there now about this.
I would like to help her financially but I can’t. I need my resources for a SN child. She is getting financial help from her husband and dad. She bartends at weddings on weekends when ex has DS.
Totally understand.
Please research/tell her to research post-separation abuse and coercive control and those with cluster B personality disorders (NPD, sociopathy, etc). That will open up a trove of information, including info about how to find attorneys who actually understand this. And yes, she needs to document *everything*. It is exhausting. I am so sorry.
PP is entirely correct about this being an aspect of coercive control. Look at some of the Duluth power and control wheels - particularly this one about “Post-separation Economic Power and Control,” which has sectors on abuse of court processes and institutions.
https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Post-Separation_Economic_Abuse_Wheel_Glinski_2021.pdf
That the lawyer/GF is involved may give you some leverage in the form of a bar complaint - talk to her attorney about that.
DS should record any fights or threats - but consult first to make sure that the state in which he records is a one-party recording state and permits this. DS should also journal on his phone other coercive control - isolation, rigid eating practices, police visits, fights, etc. Again, seek advice from counsel.
DS (and mom) should also have their own different individual therapist. Family therapy with an abuser is not helpful. DS’s individual therapist can help him strategize about expressing/drawing boundaries, educating about emotional abuse, etc. This has to be done by someone independent, i.e. not the Mom, otherwise it will be viewed as alienation. It’s tricky because some psychologists will require the consent of both parents, some will only ask for one parent’s consent. You will also have to ask to what degree the psychologist can refuse to divulge to a parent what is said in therapy - if Dad demands access to son’s records, what will he get? And, if Dad is providing the health insurance, he will be able to see all billed sessions.
Grey rocking, parallel parenting, neutral or supervised drop-offs, communication only through third-party platforms are all ways of disengaging from the abuser.
Sorry your family member is going through this.
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