I would rather pay for an apartment for my dc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids will always be welcome in our house. I actually, you know, like my kids!

I like and even love my kids, but they aren't living with me when they are adults. Part of loving them is launching them. They'll get a great education and a car and they know I'm there for them, but we set expectations in our home at a young age that we expect them to launch into an independent life after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids will always be welcome in our house. I actually, you know, like my kids!

I like and even love my kids, but they aren't living with me when they are adults. Part of loving them is launching them. They'll get a great education and a car and they know I'm there for them, but we set expectations in our home at a young age that we expect them to launch into an independent life after college.

I don’t see paying for a kid’s apartment — which is what this thread is about— as launching them. I’d consider doing that for a period of time (maybe grad school or something) if my kid needed it but I’d rather they were home (then they can house sit while we travel).

It’s like those people who are up in arms about kids staying on parents cell phone plans. We have a cheap family plan and I’m not going to kick my kid off and make them pay the cell co more just to prove a point, and no I’m probably not going to bill them $30 a month either just to prove a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids will always be welcome in our house. I actually, you know, like my kids!

I like and even love my kids, but they aren't living with me when they are adults. Part of loving them is launching them. They'll get a great education and a car and they know I'm there for them, but we set expectations in our home at a young age that we expect them to launch into an independent life after college.

I don’t see paying for a kid’s apartment — which is what this thread is about— as launching them. I’d consider doing that for a period of time (maybe grad school or something) if my kid needed it but I’d rather they were home (then they can house sit while we travel).

It’s like those people who are up in arms about kids staying on parents cell phone plans. We have a cheap family plan and I’m not going to kick my kid off and make them pay the cell co more just to prove a point, and no I’m probably not going to bill them $30 a month either just to prove a point.

I don't think anyone would disagree with you about launching them into an independent life AFTER college, however, OP said they rather pay for an apartment that have them at home after 18.

[Anonymous]

I am Asian and I have a 27 years old and 22 years old sons.  The 27 years old and his wife is currently living with us but they will be moving out in May '23 to make space for the 22 years old to come home from Brown University.
The 27 years old graduated from UVA in 2018 and he married his college sweetheart just before graduation.  I persuaded him and his wife to stay with us in order to save money.  We bought him and his wife two brand new cars, they stay in our brand new 1200 sqft guest house which is completely separated from the main house.  They don't have to pay for rent, utilities, food, cell phone.  My son works two jobs in technology and his wife is an accountant.  Together, they were able to save over 200K/year for the past five years, and have over 1.4M in savings at the age of 27 (the money also grew through investment).  They are finally moving out before May '23 so that the younger son can come home and stay in the guest house with his girlfriend.  The younger brother and his girlfriend are following the footstep that his older brother did for the past five years so that he can save up a lot of money before moving out.

I am so happy that my 27 years old and his wife are finally moving out with a large savings that they don't have to worry about money.  While I am sad to see them leave, I am so happy that they have successfully launched.  My daughter in-law, who is white, said that her brother and sister moved out as soon as they graduated from college and both of them are struggling for money.  YMMV.

[Anonymous]

I never moved home after college. My sister did and was there for about a month when my parents rented her an apartment because they thought it was a better arrangement for everyone. I suspect I will do the same one day.

[Anonymous]

with the cost of living in Northern Virginia, I would be ok subsidizing an apartment after college if needed for an agreed upon period of time if kid wanted to live in the area. I think it would be better for our relationship than moving home after 4 years being away at college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Asian and I have a 27 years old and 22 years old sons.  The 27 years old and his wife is currently living with us but they will be moving out in May '23 to make space for the 22 years old to come home from Brown University.
The 27 years old graduated from UVA in 2018 and he married his college sweetheart just before graduation.  I persuaded him and his wife to stay with us in order to save money.  We bought him and his wife two brand new cars, they stay in our brand new 1200 sqft guest house which is completely separated from the main house.  They don't have to pay for rent, utilities, food, cell phone.  My son works two jobs in technology and his wife is an accountant.  Together, they were able to save over 200K/year for the past five years, and have over 1.4M in savings at the age of 27 (the money also grew through investment).  They are finally moving out before May '23 so that the younger son can come home and stay in the guest house with his girlfriend.  The younger brother and his girlfriend are following the footstep that his older brother did for the past five years so that he can save up a lot of money before moving out.

I am so happy that my 27 years old and his wife are finally moving out with a large savings that they don't have to worry about money.  While I am sad to see them leave, I am so happy that they have successfully launched.  My daughter in-law, who is white, said that her brother and sister moved out as soon as they graduated from college and both of them are struggling for money.  YMMV.

This sounds like the same story you posted in the jobs forum, except with different lies this time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Than have them live at home during college or after.

Yes, I am a traditional white American. It is beyond my range of experience and observation for young adults to live with their parents for an extended time after they are 18. I would have never dreamed of it. My sisters never did. My parents would never have gone for it barring serious illness. And I don't really remember any of my friends doing it either. Summers were the longest times spent at 'home' after high school graduation.

Anyone else think like this?

What's the difference? You're paying either way.