Confused

[Anonymous]

Just move her to an easier math class to relieve the stress. She's 9. You are not going to change the teacher. If she's not failing or below grade level on standardized tests, the schools don't care. They don't really care about kids with 504s either. she should probably have extended time and less problems if she has adhd but that's about all they will do. They " notify" you by grades and they don't care if your kid has a b instead of the a you think she should have bc she's smart. That is public school reality.

[Anonymous]

Does it say on the 504 that the planner is to be completed, reviewed, and signed by the teacher? Because if it isn't, and you don't have an IEP, then you're demanding IEP-level services without an IEP, and that's unlikely to be something they're willing to do.

If your DD is reporting that she wasn't allowed to ask questions, it could be that she was calling out and interrupting (an ADHD thing) or that the teacher wanted to move on from a topic and wasn't taking any more questions. AAP classes are intended to move a little faster and might not be providing your DD with as much time as she's used to having. Part of growing up is learning to restrain yourself, to read the room, to choose appropriate times to ask questions and appropriate times to listen quietly.

It may be that this teacher is a bad teacher or just dislikes your DD or whatever. That's totally possible. But the harsh truth is, there's no right to only have good teachers. It's an experience that most kids have at some point, and it can be a learning experience.

Saying stuff like "there is something up" is too vague to be useful. What you've said so far is that the teacher doesn't follow the 504 (which is a legit complaint, but you haven't said how), the teacher doesn't correctly fill out or sign off on the planner (but is that required by 504/IEP or is it just something you asked for?), that the teacher "talks differently" to your child, the teacher told her to stop asking questions and stop taking notes (just once or maybe a few times?) and that you and your child have various negative feelings about the teacher. That's not really that much. The teacher has the right to give direction about when is ok to take notes and when is ok to ask questions. That's basic classroom management stuff. And the teacher isn't going to do a planner check if it's not on the IEP. And I still don't understand in what sense your daughter is "failing" and not learning, if she's doing well on standardized tests. It sounds like you don't really understand how she is failing either.

It sounds like you need an IEP. You seem to want various accommodations like a list of assignments, and and IEP is how those things are obtained.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

Please understand that yes, it's important for parents to work together with the school system to ensure our children receive the best education and opportunities they can. It’s important to set reasonable expectations navigating the schools, without undermining the hard work of teachers.

It is unfortunate that even if you are engaged schools will ignore your children who may struggle. Even with the best advocate (the parents) children can still be discarded. The main thing is that you don’t give up.

If the teacher isn’t providing any feedback, it’s probably best to talk to them directly. Ask them if there’s anything they would like your daughter to work on, or if there’s any way you can help your daughter get a better understanding of the material being taught. It can be hard to approach a teacher when there doesn’t seem to be a good relationship, but you should still try to do it in a respectful and professional manner. If the teacher won’t communicate with you directly, try contacting the school administration and explaining the issue. They may be able to provide advice or connect you with someone who can help.

[Anonymous]

I understand that this is a difficult and frustrating situation, but it's important to look at the facts and present them as clearly and accurately as possible. Any behaviors your child is exhibiting that need to be addressed (like calling out, etc), should be included in the IEP. That's the easiest way to make sure she gets the support she needs.

[Anonymous]

No, it is not the norm for parents to not be contacted if a student is continuously not grasping concepts, struggling and falling behind. Generally, schools should have a plan in place to inform parents if their child is having difficulty in school. The plan may involve regular communication from teachers and administrators, such as emails, personal phone calls or meetings. If a student is struggling, it might be beneficial for the parent to be contacted so that the parent can help their child better understand the material. It is also important for schools to work with parents to ensure that their child is receiving the support he or she needs to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- I’m guessing the weight is based more on tests and things done in class because we check behind to make sure all assignments are completed/ reviewed/turned in on time. However, even with checking the planner sometimes the teacher will tell me she is missing assignments and her request doesn’t correlate with anything listed in the planner. The planner is to be reviewed and signed by teachers.

-Her errors tend to be inconsistent. For example she’s multiplying decimals just fine and then she starts the next problem. Simple errors, like 2 x3= 9 vs 6. Rushes through the directions. Sometimes she knows the answer and we can’t figure out why she wrote the answer she did.

- We had concerns. Navigating this 504 process is new. We had made some changes and the check-in was also a pulse check. It was how are things, any changes, anything we should be concerned about. While waiting we continued waiting we kept observing and trying new things. We hoped that no news was good news. However our observations were concerning—- we started working with the ADHD coach. We felt there would be value to know what’s happening day to day inside the classroom. Children tend to behave somewhat differently in different environments.

- There is something up. My focus is that she learns. The non-tangible items won’t be areas of focus. However, parents know their children. DD never complains. Never. She has had strict teachers. She has never complained. Not once. The first time she shared I told her people have different styles and the benefits. Teacher seemed very structured and we discussed how that would help DD. However DD’s comments weren’t tied to the teachers rules.

- Her feedback was specific to how she was being treated. She has always been articulate and an empath. She said she makes me feel like I don’t belong. This started the second week of school. She has refused to answer DD questions and when she does it’s in a demeaning to make it clear to not ask questions again. So now she isn’t grasping concepts and won’t ask questions.

- Within the first 7 days DD picked up that there was an issue and since then it’s just been downhill.

- A child who wants to learn doesn’t deserve this.

OP, I believe you and your DD that the teacher seems to either not like your DD in particular or not like kids in general. Some teachers are like that and I think they can be quite damaging for young children (I think the idea that young kids need to learn how to deal with difficult teachers is bs). It's the end of the first semester - do you think your DD should continue with this teacher and a tutor and just make it through the end of the year? Does your DD have friends in the class, is she overall understanding and learning the material (her standardized test scores seem to show this)? Or do you think you need to ask to have her moved to a different math class?

Thanks for the solidarity. It can be damaging. You get it!!! If she were older, maybe I wouldn’t be as concerned. We don’t expect DD to Like every teacher. We also told her unfortunately not every teacher will like you. It’s okay to not like or be liked. She needs to understand sometimes she won’t. In the beginning we encouraged her adapt to the way her teacher wants things done.

We also don’t focus on her grades. Her only job is to do her best and her best is good enough. We only care that she is learning, because we have proof she is capable. She receives a lot of support at home and so identifying what’s happening in school could be the missing piece.

She has friends in all of the classes. She is a very kind and thoughtful child. She always makes sure no one eats alone and has a friend. We are more than content with moving her and she is too. We have requested it. I have also given consideration to just using the tutor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are being way too demanding and with this list of demands you need an IEP. Or private. But you’re being treated as if you’re unreasonable because, you are. Public schools are not equipped to deal with kids who can’t help themselves at 10. Ask me how I know. You can keep barking up this tree and getting all pissy or you can just go ahead, get her evaluated and get a proper IEP or pursue private school. Kids who are 2E which she could be - honestly in MCPS being in aap seems totally irrelevant for most kids, as only the truly behind are not - need support if they can’t function in a typical classroom, obviously, but you need to go through the appropriate channels to get that just like everyone else.

Thanks for the feedback.

We had her tested. She has an established 504 and an IEP may be needed. The request was only for feedback. DH and I have taken full responsibility for her support. She is doing well in all other areas and always has except for this specific class. Which is why we’re trying to figure out what is happening in this specific class.

Some parents obsess over grades. That is not us and never will be us. We weren’t raised that way and we have seen the consequences in peers who were. Our children’s best will always be good enough. In this case we know she is capable, because we work with her.

It was new to us that it was no longer the norm to not contact parents if the child is struggling and not grasping concepts. Maybe for older students, but not at 9. The teacher is not expected to fix it. In what world would they have the bandwidth. We believe they do enough. However, providing insights into their observations, so that we can work with her on it— we initially thought would be mutually beneficial. Just trying to get a feel for other experiences.

[Anonymous]

Answer:

It is only fair to expect that the school would contact the parents to discuss the 4th grader's progress and see how to help them improve. This is especially true given the 4th grader's challenges such as ADD and anxiety disorder. It is concerning that multiple inquiries from the parents were dismissed and the student's standardized test results were used to reassure them that their child was doing alright when the student is not learning.

It seems that the teacher does not seem to be meeting their needs and is not allowing for their special needs to be taken into account, which is making the situation worse. It is possible the teacher may be purposely trying to prove a point or punish the student, especially given that things became worse for the student after speaking up. Therefore, it is important to involve the principal to ensure that the teacher is not mistreating the student because of their inquiries.

It also is a good idea to keep up with everything that is happening

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally disagree with PP. I’m an experienced special ed teacher. You need to put your concerns in writing to the principal and the principal’s supervisor. Include the guidance counselor. Give specific facts in bullet form with evidence if you have it, like copies of emails. You can tell the principal that you will need to contact your school board member. They hate that.

Sometimes there is a crappy teacher and everyone knows it, and principals are waiting for parent complaints and documentation to get rid of them.

Can she switch to another math teacher? Her emotional health is the main thing, and good for you for sticking up for your kid. This is not okay.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has had an IEP since K. 4th grade went so badly we had to medicate for his severe ADHD.

Schools do not have the resources to help a student unless they are identified and are attributed an IEP or a 504. The diagnosis isn’t enough, because this isn’t a hospital, it’s a school and the documentation is different and heavier.

You need to jump through ALL THE HOOPS. Get her evaluated at Stixrud’s, the waitlist is several months, pay the damm fee of several thousands and ask for an IEP on the strength of the report. Or go to another psychologist. Do not ask the school for an evaluation, their interest is to minimize the result.

A parent needs to fo extra work when their kid has special needs. It’s not fair, but that’s how it is. Do your job!!!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would move her out of APP if she's struggling that much. And, I'd ask for an IEP and do a private evaluation if you haven't to make sure it's done properly.

I think some teachers have unrealistic expectations of kids that age. In ES. they should have an assignment book. Our teachers always checked it and signed off for every child, not just SN kids. Better teachers would regularly send out group emails to let parents know what's going on but that was rare.

At a minimum, ask for a teacher change. A bad teacher can really screw things up.

+1

[Anonymous]

It isn’t surprising.
https://dcist.com/story/23/01/23/disability-rights-class-action-against-fairfax-public-schools-widened/

[Anonymous]

I get that this situation feels overwhelming, but it also feels like you have blown it way out of proportion. Switch teachers, consider therapy for your anxiety. Not being snarky--this is a long road and your intensity about a pretty solvable issue is concerning for both you and your DD. I've been there!