Vegetarian kids and daycare- would you let them eat meat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a really personal decision, OP, and while I can see just getting other opinions, the key thing is to decide what's important to you and why and stick with it. I am a vegetarian, raising DS veg; DH eats meat. Our default is that DS will be vegetarian until he can decide for himself (on a somewhat informed basis) whether he wants to eat meat. It was important to me that he first be veg and then if he wants meat later, that really is fine with me--IF he understands it first. As I said, DH eats meat, I will readily accept if DS wants to one day, but I would rather he stay "pure" (for lack of a better word) so that if he wants to be veg later, he isn't upset later that he ate meat without really understanding it. Frankly, my guess is that one day he will want to eat meat (because he's a boy, and it's the majority thing to do)--but that's got to be his own choice.

Personally I wouldn't have your child eat meat just because it's easier right now or so that she can be like other kids. We all are different in one way or another. Lots of people have certain food restrictions for ethical, religious, or health (allergy, etc.) reasons. That's just life. This is a good time to teach DD that we're all different. It's hard if she's the ONLY person in her whole class who's veg--but it's also not that big of a deal and now might be the hardest time. To the extent that she wants to eat meat, presumably she does not have a really good understanding of what it is. She wants it just because the other kids have it. Well, that's not wrong for her to feel--but there are a lot of times as parents when we're going to have to tell our kids that just because others are doing it, that's not what we want for ourselves. You'll just have to decide for yourself whether this is an area that's important enough to you to draw the line. For me it is, for others it might not be.

NP here, I agree 100% !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a really personal decision, OP, and while I can see just getting other opinions, the key thing is to decide what's important to you and why and stick with it. I am a vegetarian, raising DS veg; DH eats meat. Our default is that DS will be vegetarian until he can decide for himself (on a somewhat informed basis) whether he wants to eat meat. It was important to me that he first be veg and then if he wants meat later, that really is fine with me--IF he understands it first. As I said, DH eats meat, I will readily accept if DS wants to one day, but I would rather he stay "pure" (for lack of a better word) so that if he wants to be veg later, he isn't upset later that he ate meat without really understanding it. Frankly, my guess is that one day he will want to eat meat (because he's a boy, and it's the majority thing to do)--but that's got to be his own choice.

Personally I wouldn't have your child eat meat just because it's easier right now or so that she can be like other kids. We all are different in one way or another. Lots of people have certain food restrictions for ethical, religious, or health (allergy, etc.) reasons. That's just life. This is a good time to teach DD that we're all different. It's hard if she's the ONLY person in her whole class who's veg--but it's also not that big of a deal and now might be the hardest time. To the extent that she wants to eat meat, presumably she does not have a really good understanding of what it is. She wants it just because the other kids have it. Well, that's not wrong for her to feel--but there are a lot of times as parents when we're going to have to tell our kids that just because others are doing it, that's not what we want for ourselves. You'll just have to decide for yourself whether this is an area that's important enough to you to draw the line. For me it is, for others it might not be.

NP here, I agree 100% !!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP here. Thanks to the both of you for this perspective. You actually capture how I feel best about the situation. And I agree with others that as being vegetarian is a moral for me, it's my duty as a parent to pass along that moral to my children. I do think a lot of people don't understand this (especially my mom- when I use the raising your kids in your religion analogy, she says of course you should, but not so much on the veg situation, and that's b/c to her, being vegetarian isn't something ethical for her).

However, my main concern at this point isn't necessarily about letting her fit in more (she's not allowed to drink juice, other kids do, she's asked for it at daycare, but she's still not allowed to have it. Other kids also bring their own lunches, so it's not like she's the only one hauling it from home, though theirs are meaty lunches. My main concern is that DD isn't eating her entree. Her teachers say sometimes she'll really chow down on the sides (rice, carrots, etc.) but my worry is that having a child subsist solely on rice for her meal isn't healthy. Other times she doesn't eat anything at all. Is it better to have her eat meat than nothing at all? That's kinda what I'm struggling with. She doesn't always eat that much at dinner at home, so sometimes her school meals are really her major meals of the day.

[Anonymous]

My best friend and her husband are vegetarians, for both ethical and health reasons. They have two daughters who were in daycares or preschools with communal lunches.

Their older dd, who is now 13, is a strict vegetarian and always has been. She would tell her teachers - even at the age of 2 - that she didn't eat meat. She learned to ask if something had meat and would refuse to eat it if it did.

Their younger dd (9) refused to eat the vegetarian meals served at daycare. She wanted to eat meat. My friend was concerned that she wouldn't develop the enzymes necessary to digest meat if they refused to let her have it at a young age. So they let her have it at school or when dining out, although they are still meat free at home. Their dd loves meat and relishes eating it. It has worked out just fine for their family.