Please help me not hate my dog!!!!

[Anonymous]

Kong with treats when you go upstairs. First problem solved.

Let the dog sleep in your room. Second problem solved.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't think you have unreasonable expectations and I disagree with people who are saying "What did you think when you were getting a puppy?" I have a 5 yr old labradoodle that we got as a puppy and once we put her in the crate (only one crate on the main level) she was quiet. She rarely ever comes upstairs and does not bark unless someone is at the door. I think you did something wrong earlier in the stages of her life to reinforce her barking behavior. There are private dog trainers out there that can help you. I suggest you do that. In thr meantime, put your dog in tht crate when you go upstairs for bedtime. Do not go to her if she barks. If you go to her she will learn that by barking she gets what she wants. Also did you get her from a reputable breeder or a pet store? Pet store dogs can come from puppy mills and can have anxiety issues. Good luck and don't give in to your dog when it barks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this is my future, complete with the three year old who LOVES coming into our room at night! Our standard poodle is only 9 weeks (we just got her yesterday) and obviously we are very early into crate-training, potty training, all the training. She's quite content to be in the same room as us, but she whines and barks a lot in the crate and her pen. If we leave the house she settles in the crate okay, but if she knows we're here she whimpers and barks. We are also going to try to keep her only on the main level and not let her upstairs in bedrooms or in basement where all the kid toys live. I know I need to stay consistent for this long road ahead of us, but it's really daunting.

I really don’t think the one level thing is realistic.

[Anonymous]

I really don’t think the one level thing is realistic.

My dog only stays on the main floor, labradoodle. She will come up or down if we call her only. Also you don't have to sleep with your dog. She is content having the main level to herself. Be consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t believe in crating dogs, just like I don’t believe in CIO. Just because we in the developed world do things for our own convenience doesn’t make them right.
You should have never gotten a dog with 3 young kids imo. Involve your dog in your life. It’s cruel to train someone to like their prison cell.

Not OP. People like you are so annoying. You have no training with dogs, but own one, so you think you know everything. Our breeder stated in the contract that the dog must be crate trained. You are Anthropomorphizing - the crate is not like a prison cell to dogs! Talk to any trainer. And stop being so self righteous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Not OP. People like you are so annoying. You have no training with dogs, but own one, so you think you know everything. Our breeder stated in the contract that the dog must be crate trained. You are Anthropomorphizing - the crate is not like a prison cell to dogs! Talk to any trainer. And stop being so self righteous.

Agreed! I have 3 kids and got our labradoodle when my youngest was 2. She is crate trained. We put her in her crate just as the breeder said. She whined and whimpered when we would put her in there for the first few days. We did not let her out when she cried. After a few days she got used to it. We still have the crate and she happily goes in. It's her safe space. We rarely lock it, only when we have service people. Stay strong OP. I did not like our puppy at first either but they get better if you remain strong and consistent. You can do it!

[Anonymous]

Also... You people against the crate, did your baby sleep in a crib or did you just let them run amok in your house at all hours of the day and night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this is my future, complete with the three year old who LOVES coming into our room at night! Our standard poodle is only 9 weeks (we just got her yesterday) and obviously we are very early into crate-training, potty training, all the training. She's quite content to be in the same room as us, but she whines and barks a lot in the crate and her pen. If we leave the house she settles in the crate okay, but if she knows we're here she whimpers and barks. We are also going to try to keep her only on the main level and not let her upstairs in bedrooms or in basement where all the kid toys live. I know I need to stay consistent for this long road ahead of us, but it's really daunting.

Obviously she wouldn’t be unsupervised but I’m curious as to why you don’t want her on any other level of your home. When ours was a puppy we had crates on different levels. So at night she was in her crate in our bedroom. She felt near us and we could hear her if she needed to go to the bathroom.

PP here. Granted it’s only been 3 weeks but so far the one level thing is working for us. The rational was mostly just keeping the dog away from toys in the basement (choking/ingesting hazards) and from sleeping in our beds (which for us just isn’t desirable). We moved her crate from the main living room where she can see us upstairs or in the kitchen, to a study that’s enclosed with doors. Maybe it’s just her comfort level now that a few weeks have passed but being able to shut the door while we go upstairs for bath time etc has been a game changer. She’s much more calm now and the whining is intermittent or absent completely. The takeaway here is really just being consistent and knowing that TIME is probably the only or best way for many of the puppy behaviors to resolve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doodle puppy is 6 months old. And we have two big issues I desperately need help with or I don’t know how we’ll survive.

1. Dog barks constantly when we leave him on our main level and go upstairs (we have a gate at the bottom of the stairs, or sometimes we leave him in his play pen though lately he’s learned to escape). We need to go upstairs without him every evening when we put our 3 kids to bed. He cannot follow us around or the kids get worked up and won’t go to sleep themselves. But he barks and barks. The only solution we’ve found is putting him in the backyard during bedtime so his barking is quieter, but I’m obviously being a terrible neighbor by doing that.

2. Dog goes to sleep in his crate in the family room at 11 pm. He wakes around 4 am and barks until we come down at 6. It’s terrible. We’re not sleeping. DH and I are fighting. My kids are exhausted. Everyone says “just have him in your room” but we ALSO have a 3 year old who comes into our room at night and I’m worried about the 3 year old making the dog bark, or being too playful at night, etc. Al see I long term I know I’ll feel less resentful and of the dog if he sleeps downstairs.

What do I do???? I asked the vet and she didn’t seem to care. I feel like my mental health is at stake. This dog cannot keep barking at 4 am (and being a pain during bedtime).

PLEASE help!

I say this kindly, but I don't think you have a dog problem, you have a kid problem. Why are your kids getting worked up just by having the dog on the second floor? And why is your 3 year old coming into your bedroom at night, and even if he is, why does he think it's ok to be play with the dog at that time? The dog is going to be in your house for many years, your kids need to be taught to interact with it normally. I would try a crate on the second floor landing. Dogs are part of the pack and like to be with the family. Also, the dog may need more exercise. Tired dog = happy dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doodle puppy is 6 months old. And we have two big issues I desperately need help with or I don’t know how we’ll survive.

1. Dog barks constantly when we leave him on our main level and go upstairs (we have a gate at the bottom of the stairs, or sometimes we leave him in his play pen though lately he’s learned to escape). We need to go upstairs without him every evening when we put our 3 kids to bed. He cannot follow us around or the kids get worked up and won’t go to sleep themselves. But he barks and barks. The only solution we’ve found is putting him in the backyard during bedtime so his barking is quieter, but I’m obviously being a terrible neighbor by doing that.

2. Dog goes to sleep in his crate in the family room at 11 pm. He wakes around 4 am and barks until we come down at 6. It’s terrible. We’re not sleeping. DH and I are fighting. My kids are exhausted. Everyone says “just have him in your room” but we ALSO have a 3 year old who comes into our room at night and I’m worried about the 3 year old making the dog bark, or being too playful at night, etc. Al see I long term I know I’ll feel less resentful and of the dog if he sleeps downstairs.

What do I do???? I asked the vet and she didn’t seem to care. I feel like my mental health is at stake. This dog cannot keep barking at 4 am (and being a pain during bedtime).

PLEASE help!

I say this kindly, but I don't think you have a dog problem, you have a kid problem. Why are your kids getting worked up just by having the dog on the second floor? And why is your 3 year old coming into your bedroom at night, and even if he is, why does he think it's ok to be play with the dog at that time? The dog is going to be in your house for many years, your kids need to be taught to interact with it normally. I would try a crate on the second floor landing. Dogs are part of the pack and like to be with the family. Also, the dog may need more exercise. Tired dog = happy dog.

Oh, come ON. Three-year-old humans are just contrary; you can be as consistent as you want (and I am all for consistency), but they will still come up with new, annoying behavior all the time. Then they'll settle down and turn into humans, but OP can't wait that long.

I do agree that more exercise (and more mental stimulation) would go a long way towards wearing the dog out. And while my dogs are not Everydog, I think a six-month-old doodle is plenty old enough to be sleeping through the night -- take away the water four hours before bedtime so it doesn't need to pee in the middle of the night. Make sure to provide plenty of water during the other 12 hours of the day. Your dog will be fine.

[Anonymous]

You need to wear that dog out during the day. Dog parks, doggy daycare, long hikes, etc. a tired dog sleeps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doodle puppy is 6 months old. And we have two big issues I desperately need help with or I don’t know how we’ll survive.

1. Dog barks constantly when we leave him on our main level and go upstairs (we have a gate at the bottom of the stairs, or sometimes we leave him in his play pen though lately he’s learned to escape). We need to go upstairs without him every evening when we put our 3 kids to bed. He cannot follow us around or the kids get worked up and won’t go to sleep themselves. But he barks and barks. The only solution we’ve found is putting him in the backyard during bedtime so his barking is quieter, but I’m obviously being a terrible neighbor by doing that.

2. Dog goes to sleep in his crate in the family room at 11 pm. He wakes around 4 am and barks until we come down at 6. It’s terrible. We’re not sleeping. DH and I are fighting. My kids are exhausted. Everyone says “just have him in your room” but we ALSO have a 3 year old who comes into our room at night and I’m worried about the 3 year old making the dog bark, or being too playful at night, etc. Al see I long term I know I’ll feel less resentful and of the dog if he sleeps downstairs.

What do I do???? I asked the vet and she didn’t seem to care. I feel like my mental health is at stake. This dog cannot keep barking at 4 am (and being a pain during bedtime).

PLEASE help!

I say this kindly, but I don't think you have a dog problem, you have a kid problem. Why are your kids getting worked up just by having the dog on the second floor? And why is your 3 year old coming into your bedroom at night, and even if he is, why does he think it's ok to be play with the dog at that time? The dog is going to be in your house for many years, your kids need to be taught to interact with it normally. I would try a crate on the second floor landing. Dogs are part of the pack and like to be with the family. Also, the dog may need more exercise. Tired dog = happy dog.

Oh, come ON. Three-year-old humans are just contrary; you can be as consistent as you want (and I am all for consistency), but they will still come up with new, annoying behavior all the time. Then they'll settle down and turn into humans, but OP can't wait that long.

I do agree that more exercise (and more mental stimulation) would go a long way towards wearing the dog out. And while my dogs are not Everydog, I think a six-month-old doodle is plenty old enough to be sleeping through the night -- take away the water four hours before bedtime so it doesn't need to pee in the middle of the night. Make sure to provide plenty of water during the other 12 hours of the day. Your dog will be fine.

Which is why it’s stupid to get a puppy when you have a three year and have a low tolerance for noise/sleep disruption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Bark collar. DCUM is passionately against them, but they are NOT cruel - they will save your sanity and your dog's sanity. It's not fun for him either, to bark endlessly! This is anxiety barking, not barking to communicate "beware, stranger at the door" or "I just saw my friend, I'm so excited". This is repetitive anxious barking that is really bad for dogs.

Always test the collar on yourself first, to see how mild the electric shock is. Try it at the lowest setting first. It took my dog TWO barks to understand he wasn't supposed to bark. He received plenty of praise and treats when he stopped barking. I've never used the collar since, and it's been so many years, I don't even know where it is!

Don't kill yourself with sleep deprivation for some unreasonable "shocks are cruel" principle. Dogs don't learn the same way we do, especially for anxiety barking. The collar will save your life.

This is a lazy copout. It's a baby!!! You're asking too much of him. And yes, "shocks" are cruel esp for a baby.

Leaving him alone so much is why he's barking. Dogs are pack animals. The crate should be in your bedroom. And there is no reason the dog cannot be with you upstairs so long as you're letting him out a lot. And, you should be running him or taking him to the dog park or something.

OP, I say this not to be mean: What did you think you were getting when you got a puppy? They are work. They are babies. Put in the time and work. And quit complaining.

You are anthropomorphizing, PP, and are clueless about canine development. A 6 months old dog is not very young in terms of puppyhood. He's a 6th grader who absolutely needs to be taught manners before he hits adolescence at around 1 year, otherwise you will have a monster on your hands. Well-trained puppies regress when they're teens, and it's only extra training and muscle memory from their earlier puppy training that saves them from total destruction.

And again, I know you don't believe me, but shock collars are not the the work of the devil. They are just one of the tools in the toolbox. Just as you don't only use positive parenting for your child, you can't always use positive training for your dog. Sometimes an aversive method is necessary. For your kid it's a time out, no electronics, sort of punishment, for your dog it can be a variety of things, but in this instance, the collar would be a very efficient and quick training tool.

Just a reminder that police and military dogs are highly trained and they get that way with an array of methods that include shock collars. And yet they are closely bonded to their owners, who love them. Loving an animal means being ready to use the best training tool for the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doodle puppy is 6 months old. And we have two big issues I desperately need help with or I don’t know how we’ll survive.

1. Dog barks constantly when we leave him on our main level and go upstairs (we have a gate at the bottom of the stairs, or sometimes we leave him in his play pen though lately he’s learned to escape). We need to go upstairs without him every evening when we put our 3 kids to bed. He cannot follow us around or the kids get worked up and won’t go to sleep themselves. But he barks and barks. The only solution we’ve found is putting him in the backyard during bedtime so his barking is quieter, but I’m obviously being a terrible neighbor by doing that.

2. Dog goes to sleep in his crate in the family room at 11 pm. He wakes around 4 am and barks until we come down at 6. It’s terrible. We’re not sleeping. DH and I are fighting. My kids are exhausted. Everyone says “just have him in your room” but we ALSO have a 3 year old who comes into our room at night and I’m worried about the 3 year old making the dog bark, or being too playful at night, etc. Al see I long term I know I’ll feel less resentful and of the dog if he sleeps downstairs.

What do I do???? I asked the vet and she didn’t seem to care. I feel like my mental health is at stake. This dog cannot keep barking at 4 am (and being a pain during bedtime).

PLEASE help!

I say this kindly, but I don't think you have a dog problem, you have a kid problem. Why are your kids getting worked up just by having the dog on the second floor? And why is your 3 year old coming into your bedroom at night, and even if he is, why does he think it's ok to be play with the dog at that time? The dog is going to be in your house for many years, your kids need to be taught to interact with it normally. I would try a crate on the second floor landing. Dogs are part of the pack and like to be with the family. Also, the dog may need more exercise. Tired dog = happy dog.

Oh, come ON. Three-year-old humans are just contrary; you can be as consistent as you want (and I am all for consistency), but they will still come up with new, annoying behavior all the time. Then they'll settle down and turn into humans, but OP can't wait that long.

I do agree that more exercise (and more mental stimulation) would go a long way towards wearing the dog out. And while my dogs are not Everydog, I think a six-month-old doodle is plenty old enough to be sleeping through the night -- take away the water four hours before bedtime so it doesn't need to pee in the middle of the night. Make sure to provide plenty of water during the other 12 hours of the day. Your dog will be fine.

Which is why it’s stupid to get a puppy when you have a three year and have a low tolerance for noise/sleep disruption.

And yet here we are. Do you have advice for OP, or do you just want to call them "stupid"?

[Anonymous]

We have a doodle and unlike a lot of dogs I know, he just didn't like the crate and never really got used to it. After a few months, we just started letting him sleep outside of the crate and had no further issues. I don't think crate training is bad for dogs in any way, shape, or form, but I also think some just don't take to it and at a certain point you just need to accept that.