Spouse with credit card debt due to compulsive shopping

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess what it’s your debt too. Out her and cut up the cards. Get a plan to read it and now charge more.

Where did op say their spouse is a woman?

Didn’t but it’s usually women who behave this way.

A man would just say “she” about his wife. The OP is a woman for sure. Codependents usually are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess what it’s your debt too. Out her and cut up the cards. Get a plan to read it and now charge more.

Where did op say their spouse is a woman?

Didn’t but it’s usually women who behave this way.

A man would just say “she” about his wife. The OP is a woman for sure. Codependents usually are.

Women be shopping right? Statistically men are more likely to hoard. PP just had to assume and we all know what assuming makes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Our lower level is packed with purchases made over the years, almost all of it unopened. I am overwhelmed with it. I don't know what to do. I am exhausted looking at all this stuff and I have anxiety over what the debt on it could be. Any advice?

What are the purchases? Are they clothes? Collectibles?

Mostly tools, records, CDs, books, camping equipment. He also saves glass jars, plastic containers, coffee cans, newspapers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Our lower level is packed with purchases made over the years, almost all of it unopened. I am overwhelmed with it. I don't know what to do. I am exhausted looking at all this stuff and I have anxiety over what the debt on it could be. Any advice?

What are the purchases? Are they clothes? Collectibles?

Mostly tools, records, CDs, books, camping equipment. He also saves glass jars, plastic containers, coffee cans, newspapers.

Has he experienced any kind of trauma or was he raised by people who did? I ask because saving things like that in case you might need them can be a trauma response. My grandparents saved those things too but they survived war, famine, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Our lower level is packed with purchases made over the years, almost all of it unopened. I am overwhelmed with it. I don't know what to do. I am exhausted looking at all this stuff and I have anxiety over what the debt on it could be. Any advice?

What are the purchases? Are they clothes? Collectibles?

Mostly tools, records, CDs, books, camping equipment. He also saves glass jars, plastic containers, coffee cans, newspapers.

Wow -- he's still *buying* records and CDs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Has he experienced any kind of trauma or was he raised by people who did? I ask because saving things like that in case you might need them can be a trauma response. My grandparents saved those things too but they survived war, famine, etc.

These are very common, run of the mill things that hoarders save.

[Anonymous]

I was married to someone like this. We had many other problems, but this problem with acquisitiveness was the most visible problem.
What sealed the deal to dissolve the marriage was that the needs of the children were less than the need to house (and pay for storage) for his stuff.
The cc debt was over 40K by the time we split. The monthly interest alone was over $500. Meanwhile, the kids and I got by on a fraction of that. Their clothes came from the thrift store and so did mine. He made sure to drive a fancy car because he needed to look like a successful family man. Meanwhile the kids and I took public transit because he hogged the car all the time.

Life was vastly improved by a hardline settlement agreement. I've done (and still am doing) a lot of work on myself and understand I was an enabler and allowed this monstrosity to happen.
You can't help someone who doesn't believe he/she needs help. But you also can't sit idly by. Hard decisions have to be made.