Why Friends are more difficult than when my mom was young..

[Anonymous]

My DD is almost 3 and could care less who comes to her B-Day party as long as her grandparents and cousins are there. I think until they are old enough to care/go to a party alone, birthday parties are more the adults

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is almost 3 and could care less who comes to her B-Day party as long as her grandparents and cousins are there. I think until they are old enough to care/go to a party alone, birthday parties are more the adults

more FOR the adults. . .

[Anonymous]

It's women working outside the home. It's also the affluence. No moms spent time at the gym or at Pilates or at the spa when we were growing up. SAHMs SAH.

[Anonymous]

"No moms spent time at the gym or at Pilates or at the spa when we were growing up. SAHMs SAH. "

In Manhattan?

[Anonymous]

What time frame are we talking about? And what kind of socio-economic status?

[Anonymous]

Well--- number 1 reason is that the majority of us work. In the early 70s when I didn't know a single working mother when we were small. Even the working moms I knew stayed home until their kids were in double digits (10 or older) before slowly making their way back to the work force.

My mom and MIL had a really strong network of neighborhood SAHM friends. They would hang out in each others houses--head to the pool or movies with the gang of kids together. They both lived in neighborhoods in this area (that are now 30 years old). These brand new subdivisions just sprouting up outside of the city attracted hordes of young (large) families---3 or more kids was the norm in our subdivision. We free-ranged all over that 'hood until dark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) No internet--so you had to talk to people in person or on the phone

2) Birthday parties were much less formal--I can't ever imagine my mother saying that someone's SPOUSE wasn't invited to a kid's party. You all are control freaks who have lost all perspective. It's a kid's birthday party for crying out loud. Cake and ice cream. No catered affair. No build-a-bear. Maybe Chuck-e-Cheese--when we were young, this was awesome.

3) Suburbia explosion--everybody drives, you hardly see anyone coming and going, no main street; who actually uses their front door these days?

4) Mean neighbors who can't deal with neighborhood kids playing in their yards sometimes. (See recent post.)

5) Longer working hours for less relative pay--both mom and dad have to work to make the same income to maintain the same standard of living that our parents' generation did.

ONE major positive change since the 70s (when I grew up)--my child is growing up with many more ethnically diverse friends than I did.

I agree that our generation works longer hours, and that, in general, people have to work more today to maintain the standard of living that middle class people in our parents' generation had. However, part of the problem is that Chuck-e-Cheese is no longer good enough, instead parents want something fancier and more expensive.

A good standard of living of our parents' generation was defined by things like owning a home in a safe neighborhood, sending kids to the local public school, an inexpensive American-made car or a Toyota (maybe two), swimming at a public pool, and inexpensive road trip vacations. Today, housing and education are more expensive, and we have to work more to pay for those items. However, people today really seem to want a lot of extras that our parents did not have. Not saying that is a bad thing or a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, thanks for that. We are invited to our first birth day party with DD tomorrow, she's two and the party if for her favorite boy at day care.

DH is the one who does the drop offs/pick ups so he knows the parents, I'm hoping to get to know some tomorrow and see DD interact with the boy.

Now I'm feeling like a third wheel...

Don't feel like a third wheel! Go and enjoy getting to know the other parents. If I were the hostess, it's what I'd want! You can always send the host family a little note of appreciation after the party.

[Anonymous]

While my parents did have plenty of outdoor space for party-goers, it was never a big deal if kids attended with both parents, sibs, etc. It certainly didn't cost much more because the food was typically homemade cake, ice cream, some chips, and juice or maybe soft drinks. Nothing that cost "hundreds of dollars" for sure. The parties were relaxed and fun. Adults talked while kids played.