Weird question. How long after sending birthday invite do people respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guilty of this. I open to skim and then will ask my kid if he wants to go. Sometimes I have to wait for him to be home / in a good mood. If we have a conflict, I need to see if we can move it. I will answer within a few days though.

+1
Need to ask my kiddo before accepting

[Anonymous]

I will open immediately (and check to see if DH has rsvp’ed as sometimes both emails are included).
If it’s DD’s BFF and I knew about the party already, I will probably respond immediately. Otherwise I have to check the giant old fashioned dead tree calendar full of sports stuff and club stuff and so on. And I might forget to mention it to DH for a day or so. It’s not intended to be rude - like a PP said, I don’t want to respond quickly and then have to change it.

[Anonymous]

My kid's party was last month. Half responded within 1-2 days. One quarter the week before. The last quarter a day or two before.

[Anonymous]

Typical—I’ll look at something on my phone while I’m waiting to check out at the grocery store or something and not want to check schedules, talk to my kid about it, etc. right then. Of course, then I forget until I get a reminder…

[Anonymous]

If we have an absolute conflict I will decline right away. Usually it is more like have to check the other kids practice schedule and see if DH is available to drive that day etc.

[Anonymous]

I open it to read the details then ask my kid the next day. They always say they want to go but I never respond before asking. I respond when I remember.

In our experience, half of the people respond within a week. The others respond three days before the party, when the reminder email goes out. I learned a while ago to manually send an update of some sort a week prior. “We will be serving lunch and cake at the party next Saturday, hope you can join us!” This is more to remind people they didn’t respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

I didn’t say you have to commit right away but yes, I do think it’s rude to wait til a few days before an event to rsvp. If I send invites to a kids bday party a month in advance, I don’t expect RSVPs right away but I do think you should be able to respond at least a week before the party so I can plan.

Is there a way to “close” the invite list at a certain point, so even if some latecomer wants to rsvp, they no longer can?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

I didn’t say you have to commit right away but yes, I do think it’s rude to wait til a few days before an event to rsvp. If I send invites to a kids bday party a month in advance, I don’t expect RSVPs right away but I do think you should be able to respond at least a week before the party so I can plan.

Is there a way to “close” the invite list at a certain point, so even if some latecomer wants to rsvp, they no longer can?

Not sure that’s possible on the evite/paperless post type websites. I understand the frustration about stragglers who don’t RSVP or can’t commit. But, you are inviting them specifically. Etiquette says you don’t rescind a party invite just because the invitee didn’t respond in a timely manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

I didn’t say you have to commit right away but yes, I do think it’s rude to wait til a few days before an event to rsvp. If I send invites to a kids bday party a month in advance, I don’t expect RSVPs right away but I do think you should be able to respond at least a week before the party so I can plan.

Is there a way to “close” the invite list at a certain point, so even if some latecomer wants to rsvp, they no longer can?

No, but you can say please rsvp by a certain date because you have to provide the venue with a headcount. If you get late acceptances, you could say sorry it’s too late. They may get offended, but you shouldn’t feel bad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

I didn’t say you have to commit right away but yes, I do think it’s rude to wait til a few days before an event to rsvp. If I send invites to a kids bday party a month in advance, I don’t expect RSVPs right away but I do think you should be able to respond at least a week before the party so I can plan.

Is there a way to “close” the invite list at a certain point, so even if some latecomer wants to rsvp, they no longer can?

Not sure that’s possible on the evite/paperless post type websites. I understand the frustration about stragglers who don’t RSVP or can’t commit. But, you are inviting them specifically. Etiquette says you don’t rescind a party invite just because the invitee didn’t respond in a timely manner.

You can make a capacity on paperless post so that the late people say that the capacity for people has been reached. I find very late RSVP'ers so rude and wouldn't have an issue with doing this.

[Anonymous]

People need to check their calendars and check with their spouses/partners/co-parents. Relax.

[Anonymous]

Paperless Post question - can you as host see every time someone opens the invite like on evite?