Weird question. How long after sending birthday invite do people respond?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually open it to see who’s invited. If the cool kids are invited, then I ask my kids if they want to go.

What if the uncool kids are invited?

[Anonymous]

If we can't make it, I usually RSVP no right away. If I need to move things around or work out logistics, it might stay in open state for another week (and in that week, I might forget about it, in which case I'll respond when I get the reminder a week out or whenever).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m like you OP. I respond immediately, even if to say I’m a maybe because of childcare etc, then I update. I hate it when people just don’t respond for days……..

I wonder if there’s a consensus on this? I wait — because I’d rather give a firm Yes or No when I know for sure. Would people really rather have an answer right away that’s a “Maybe”? To me that seems like it would make it harder to plan if someone has to wait for multiple Maybes to actually get confined one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m like you OP. I respond immediately, even if to say I’m a maybe because of childcare etc, then I update. I hate it when people just don’t respond for days……..

I wonder if there’s a consensus on this? I wait — because I’d rather give a firm Yes or No when I know for sure. Would people really rather have an answer right away that’s a “Maybe”? To me that seems like it would make it harder to plan if someone has to wait for multiple Maybes to actually get confined one way or another.

I'd rather give a firm yes or no and I'd rather people we invite to do the same. I don't want "maybe" responses as it makes it harder to plan, as you said. However, I don't know why it takes some people so long to determine if their answer is 'yes' or 'no.' I understand sometimes it may be a few days until you get your work schedule if you're someone who works weekends or until you know for sure if your parents are visiting that weekend or whatever conflict there may be. But it shouldn't take longer than a couple days to know that info, right? I've had instances where I sent an invite a month in advance and had people not RSVP until a few days before. That, to me, is just rude. Most of the time you know at least a week in advance what your plans will be. Obviously sometimes there are different circumstances that make it hard/impossible to know til the last minute but that's rare for most people.

[Anonymous]

Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

[Anonymous]

Try texting a link since most go to junk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try texting a link since most go to junk

Op said the invitees have already opened the invites so they did not go to junk. They e been received and viewed.

But I have had more success w evite texts than emails myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

[Anonymous]

I tend to RSVP right away. It’s kind of like when we were young and went on a date and the guy would play games and wait 3 days to call. (Yes, this was essentially pre-text). I married the guy who planned the next date before the first was done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

Waiting til the last minute to rsvp for anything is rude. Find out whether you can go or not within a reasonable time frame and rsvp. It’s rude because it causes the host to have to wait and wonder how much food to buy, if they should invite someone else in your place, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

I didn’t say you have to commit right away but yes, I do think it’s rude to wait til a few days before an event to rsvp. If I send invites to a kids bday party a month in advance, I don’t expect RSVPs right away but I do think you should be able to respond at least a week before the party so I can plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

I didn’t say you have to commit right away but yes, I do think it’s rude to wait til a few days before an event to rsvp. If I send invites to a kids bday party a month in advance, I don’t expect RSVPs right away but I do think you should be able to respond at least a week before the party so I can plan.

I just think it’s hard to live life if you are constantly being offended by minor things. I rsvp in a timely fashion because I have the bandwidth to do this. But I don’t care if a few people rsvp a few days beforehand. They usually apologize and ask if it’s still ok to come, and I say of course, we are happy that your kid can come. They are busy. It’s just a kid’s birthday party, not a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real talk: unless it's your kid's best friend, most people don't want to commit to a kid party weeks in advance; they want to keep their calendars open in case something better comes along.

I'm not like this - I RSVP in a timely manner and I get my kid there if I can - but many people have this attitude.

Yeah, I get that. I really do. But it's still rude.

Is it really rude? Inviting my kid is an act that I am thankful for, but it’s not an obligation to commit right away. If I know my kid can’t make it or won’t want to go, I reply no - I actually love those invites because I can remove it from my list of to do’s. If not, I need to ask my kid and figure out rides, whether it will conflict with other activities, who will take my middle schooler to his activities, etc. Almost always, my kid (age 10) will want to go to a sports practice instead of a party if there is a tournament/meet coming up. He will also decline a Friday or Saturday afternoon/evening party if he has to wake up really early the next morning. He doesn’t want to go to every birthday party and sometimes will say no based on the activity. I use paperless for parties and if people rsvp a few days beforehand, I appreciate it. I have had good friends not rsvp until the last minute and I don’t take it personally.

OP, I suggest turning off your notifications from paperless. Just check a week before the party and remind any stragglers. And honestly, given the way this cold/flu/covid season is going, some of those yes’s will turn into no’s right before the party.

I didn’t say you have to commit right away but yes, I do think it’s rude to wait til a few days before an event to rsvp. If I send invites to a kids bday party a month in advance, I don’t expect RSVPs right away but I do think you should be able to respond at least a week before the party so I can plan.

I just think it’s hard to live life if you are constantly being offended by minor things. I rsvp in a timely fashion because I have the bandwidth to do this. But I don’t care if a few people rsvp a few days beforehand. They usually apologize and ask if it’s still ok to come, and I say of course, we are happy that your kid can come. They are busy. It’s just a kid’s birthday party, not a wedding.

I have to agree that it’s so rude to wait a long time to RSVP. Dragging your feet to respond is very telling that attending isn’t a huge priority for you. Either respond and go or don’t go but don’t make the host wait for you to let them know.

[Anonymous]

I open invitations to see date/time/details but then need to confer with spouse about whether attendance is possible based on ours and our multiple children's schedules. And then sometimes I forget to respond because my brain is full of too many things as an overwhelmed parent, so please do send the reminder email.