I don’t want to have to go to church with in laws for appearances

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL died in her 90s during the pandemic. She was a lovely lady who lived in a small town and was super Catholic.

Whenever we visited, we went to church with her. All of us. We didn’t do it for “appearances,” because we condoned the church’s wrongdoings or views on social issues, or because we actually believe in any of it. We simply did it for her. And guess what? It didn’t kill any of us.

It sure would be nice to see her again and have to suffer through a Mass.

It’s the holiday season, OP. Stop being so nasty and be generous with yourself.

Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it works for op. You stop being so small minded and judgmental. You go right on ahead and show your support for an institution that has done tremendous damage to others but don't you tell others to do the same.

For a 90 year old, I'd go to a Buddhist temple or a Mosque and pretend if that's what it took to cheer them up

This presumes that you think a 90 yo needs cheering up and that going to a religious service is the best way to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family wouldn’t dare even suggest it. They would be worried I might burst into flames in the vestibule. If they did ask, my answer would be uncontrollable laughter. I don’t do cults.

Mine are the same way.

It’s the season for reason.

[Anonymous]

Take them to the Unitarians.

[Anonymous]

OP, if this is a one-time thing, just tell them you don't feel well and are going to have to skip.

If this is a frequent thing, then use your words and tell them you can't go any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if this is a one-time thing, just tell them you don't feel well and are going to have to skip.

If this is a frequent thing, then use your words and tell them you can't go any more.

Nope.

If it’s a one-time thing, suck it up and do it. If it’s a frequent thing, yes, use your words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL died in her 90s during the pandemic. She was a lovely lady who lived in a small town and was super Catholic.

Whenever we visited, we went to church with her. All of us. We didn’t do it for “appearances,” because we condoned the church’s wrongdoings or views on social issues, or because we actually believe in any of it. We simply did it for her. And guess what? It didn’t kill any of us.

It sure would be nice to see her again and have to suffer through a Mass.

It’s the holiday season, OP. Stop being so nasty and be generous with yourself.

Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it works for op. You stop being so small minded and judgmental. You go right on ahead and show your support for an institution that has done tremendous damage to others but don't you tell others to do the same.

For a 90 year old, I'd go to a Buddhist temple or a Mosque and pretend if that's what it took to cheer them up

This presumes that you think a 90 yo needs cheering up and that going to a religious service is the best way to do it.

For many senior it is a meaningful gift, for sure. They can't get there otherwise. Many seniors also need cheering up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL died in her 90s during the pandemic. She was a lovely lady who lived in a small town and was super Catholic.

Whenever we visited, we went to church with her. All of us. We didn’t do it for “appearances,” because we condoned the church’s wrongdoings or views on social issues, or because we actually believe in any of it. We simply did it for her. And guess what? It didn’t kill any of us.

It sure would be nice to see her again and have to suffer through a Mass.

It’s the holiday season, OP. Stop being so nasty and be generous with yourself.

Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it works for op. You stop being so small minded and judgmental. You go right on ahead and show your support for an institution that has done tremendous damage to others but don't you tell others to do the same.

Talk about small minded! You didn’t even read what I wrote. No damage is being done to anyone by attending church with a 90 year old lady. Being so angry all the time must be exhausting for you.

+1 This forum is filled with intelligent but angry women who always seem ready to prove a point.

+2

The women in the DC area are exhausting

+1 Yep. I can't imagine being that angry and seemingly on the lookout for slights and reasons to respond with anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL died in her 90s during the pandemic. She was a lovely lady who lived in a small town and was super Catholic.

Whenever we visited, we went to church with her. All of us. We didn’t do it for “appearances,” because we condoned the church’s wrongdoings or views on social issues, or because we actually believe in any of it. We simply did it for her. And guess what? It didn’t kill any of us.

It sure would be nice to see her again and have to suffer through a Mass.

It’s the holiday season, OP. Stop being so nasty and be generous with yourself.

Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it works for op. You stop being so small minded and judgmental. You go right on ahead and show your support for an institution that has done tremendous damage to others but don't you tell others to do the same.

Talk about small minded! You didn’t even read what I wrote. No damage is being done to anyone by attending church with a 90 year old lady. Being so angry all the time must be exhausting for you.

+1 This forum is filled with intelligent but angry women who always seem ready to prove a point.

+2

The women in the DC area are exhausting

+1 Yep. I can't imagine being that angry and seemingly on the lookout for slights and reasons to respond with anger.

+ 2 (or maybe it’s +4). The holiday season tends to bring out the angry non-celebrants. It is what it is. Ignore it when you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL died in her 90s during the pandemic. She was a lovely lady who lived in a small town and was super Catholic.

Whenever we visited, we went to church with her. All of us. We didn’t do it for “appearances,” because we condoned the church’s wrongdoings or views on social issues, or because we actually believe in any of it. We simply did it for her. And guess what? It didn’t kill any of us.

It sure would be nice to see her again and have to suffer through a Mass.

It’s the holiday season, OP. Stop being so nasty and be generous with yourself.

This is crap

No OP do not do this.

And OP you are not a bad person for not pretending. You are a good person for not lying, unlike this poster who is judgemental ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL died in her 90s during the pandemic. She was a lovely lady who lived in a small town and was super Catholic.

Whenever we visited, we went to church with her. All of us. We didn’t do it for “appearances,” because we condoned the church’s wrongdoings or views on social issues, or because we actually believe in any of it. We simply did it for her. And guess what? It didn’t kill any of us.

It sure would be nice to see her again and have to suffer through a Mass.

It’s the holiday season, OP. Stop being so nasty and be generous with yourself.

Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it works for op. You stop being so small minded and judgmental. You go right on ahead and show your support for an institution that has done tremendous damage to others but don't you tell others to do the same.

Talk about small minded! You didn’t even read what I wrote. No damage is being done to anyone by attending church with a 90 year old lady. Being so angry all the time must be exhausting for you.

+1 This forum is filled with intelligent but angry women who always seem ready to prove a point.

Afreakingmen!

[Anonymous]

OP

There is zero reasons for you to go.

Tell them no.

It is absurd to go to a religious event that you do not believe in.

Be an adult tell them no!

[Anonymous]

What gets me is my inlaws used to try to guilt us into going to church on Easter and Christmas, because those were the ONLY 2 days a year that THEY went to church. We just told them no, that won't be a part of our celebration. We will see you after. My mother goes to church weekly and has never once tried to make us feel guilty for not attending.

We are adults who get to decide our religious preferences. If that bothers someone, that is THEIR problem, not mine, to work through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL died in her 90s during the pandemic. She was a lovely lady who lived in a small town and was super Catholic.

Whenever we visited, we went to church with her. All of us. We didn’t do it for “appearances,” because we condoned the church’s wrongdoings or views on social issues, or because we actually believe in any of it. We simply did it for her. And guess what? It didn’t kill any of us.

It sure would be nice to see her again and have to suffer through a Mass.

It’s the holiday season, OP. Stop being so nasty and be generous with yourself.

Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it works for op. You stop being so small minded and judgmental. You go right on ahead and show your support for an institution that has done tremendous damage to others but don't you tell others to do the same.

Agreed. As a bisexual Jew, I find PP’s judgmental comment pretty offensive.

[Anonymous]

Is that where they have friends? Offer to have a party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s annoying. It’s a waste of a Sunday and I don’t want to go. This pressure to attend a place that is allowed to discriminate against gay people and that has t atoned for the millions of molested children is not somewhere I honestly want to go and pretend that I think it’s great.

Yeah I would just say no thanks not interested and not mention why - there’s no reason bc no argument will be worth it - they can’t convince you and you can’t convince them

if you do end up going - a few minutes after sitting down ask them where the bathroom is and go hang out in the lobby and scroll social media.