Holiday sleeping arrangements

[Anonymous]

I think one of the sisters should take the sofa rather than displacing the host, but that’s neither here nor there.

Stay in a hotel if that’s what YOU prefer, but don’t present it to your aunt like you’re doing her a favor, because you aren’t. Staying in a hotel changes the dynamic of the visit (which again is fine if it’s what you prefer) but she’s probably looking forward to the more unstructured time like chatting with the adults over a glass of wine after kids in bed, morning coffee in PJs, etc.

[Anonymous]

I find it interesting that so many people say get a hotel. They obviously did not grow up with the family holidays that I did. We travel to my grandparents house for every major holiday, as did the rest of our family. The sleeping arrangements had to be very creative. Even today, if one of my brothers stays at my moms for the holiday, one of my kids sleeps in with my mom, plus one or two cousins on the floor. My mom, Husband, brother, cousins have, on occasionally, slept on the couch. Anyone of us could afford a hotel room.

I would agree, my decision would be weighed in by how long you would be staying. The final decision would be how you really think your aunt feels and what the tradition has been in your family.

[Anonymous]

I would have gotten a hotel from Day 1. Four people in one room sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me. I would get two rooms at the hotel for my family of four.

And I don’t blame the sisters one bit for not wanting to share a bed. Assuming people can afford hotel rooms, that is always better than this insane room sharing nonsense.

How many bathrooms are in this house? Were eight people going to shower and bath with two bathrooms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family and I are headed out west for a Thanksgiving hosted at my aunt’s home.


She has two adult daughters and two spare rooms. She also invited my husband and I and two kids to stay with her. We were happy to stay and looked forward to it. However, she told us about a week ago she would give us the master room
Because her daughters won’t share a bed. My aunt said she will sleep on living room couch. Of course we will now plan to get a hotel. She is upset that we want a hotel now.

Everyone is saying her daughters should share one of the queen beds, so my family can take the other spare room. While I am not going to weigh in, I can personally see my sister and I doing that if our cousin’s family was coming to stay with our parents.

My two kids are little, one being a baby. My cousins are both single and one late 20s and other 30s.

My husband and I are adamant my aunt will not sleep on a couch at her own home.


Thoughts on this situation?

I sleep on my couch every holiday season due to visiting family. I love having them here and everyone in the same house. If it's not a problem for your aunt then don't worry about it. She wants you there and wants you to be comfortable. So just stay with her. Her adult daughters should not have to share a bed. Aunt worked the problem out. Go and enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just got a hotel. Your aunt means well but inviting her 2 adult daughters and your family of 4 to stay with her with only 3 bedrooms available for the 8 of you was never a good plan. And I’ll be honest, as an adult I would have been like WTF if I was going to spend Christmas at my mom’s house and was told I had to share a bed with my sister because my cousin’s family was planning to stay there too.

Same!! I was always the one being displaced since I was single. Everyone would have a place to sleep except me and I'd be left scrambling to find a friend I could stay with. People think single people don't need good sleep too, and I don't get it. I think the hosts kids get first dibs and then cousins can get the hotel. OP--just do the hotel. Everyone will be glad you did. You won't be stressed out when the baby wakes up at night, and they won't be pissed because a baby woke them up at night. You can shower at your leisure, make coffee in your room, get room service for breakfast, and relax and enjoy. Then head to your aunts for the bulk of the day, then retreat. You'll be glad you did and it will make the visit more pleasant for everyone. It's also less time you have to be chasing your kids around a house that probably hasn't been baby proofed.

[Anonymous]

My days of sharing a room with anyone other than DH ended when my DC outgrew the Pack and Play.

Hotel!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have gotten a hotel from Day 1. Four people in one room sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me. I would get two rooms at the hotel for my family of four.

And I don’t blame the sisters one bit for not wanting to share a bed. Assuming people can afford hotel rooms, that is always better than this insane room sharing nonsense.

How many bathrooms are in this house? Were eight people going to shower and bath with two bathrooms?

Except having young kids makes hotels complicated. Do you really want to have to leave each night at 6 or 7pm so you can get your kids down for bed? And then what do you do until you’re ready for bed yourself? Mornings and meals bring its own complicated set of logistics.

I'm not a fan of crowded the whole family into a single bedroom, but it's often better than the alternative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have gotten a hotel from Day 1. Four people in one room sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me. I would get two rooms at the hotel for my family of four.

And I don’t blame the sisters one bit for not wanting to share a bed. Assuming people can afford hotel rooms, that is always better than this insane room sharing nonsense.

How many bathrooms are in this house? Were eight people going to shower and bath with two bathrooms?

Except having young kids makes hotels complicated. Do you really want to have to leave each night at 6 or 7pm so you can get your kids down for bed? And then what do you do until you’re ready for bed yourself? Mornings and meals bring its own complicated set of logistics.

I'm not a fan of crowded the whole family into a single bedroom, but it's often better than the alternative.

Well, I would actually probably get a 3 bedroom Airbnb, but two connecting hotel rooms would work to. If the aunt is sleeping on the couch, I doubt they can use the living room at 6am. I get that some people would prefer to lob up together in a house. And that is fine. But I think in this case, I would not displace my aunt to the couch.

[Anonymous]

I think the master bedroom makes sense for your four person family regardless of what the others do. I assume you will have either a pack n play or toddler air mattress or whatever for your kids and most spare bedrooms aren't large enough to accommodate that. I agree one of her daughters should oribably have offered to take the couch she apparently doesn't mind so if you're otherwise happy to visit them I'd proceed as planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ridiculous to expect grown women to share a bed. Get a hotel or have your kids sleep on floor or air mattresses.

I think your aunt was being overly optimistic (and somewhat ridiculous) in expecting her adult daughters to share one bed.

I would get a hotel or bring air mattresses.

[Anonymous]

Hotel. You can literally be at the house from breakfast till bedtime & just go to the hotel to sleep…but I imagine you will probably end up using it more than you think. Rooming with this many people/children is challenging, esp if you all haven’t done this configuration before. Aunt will get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have gotten a hotel from Day 1. Four people in one room sounds like the seventh circle of hell to me. I would get two rooms at the hotel for my family of four.

And I don’t blame the sisters one bit for not wanting to share a bed. Assuming people can afford hotel rooms, that is always better than this insane room sharing nonsense.

How many bathrooms are in this house? Were eight people going to shower and bath with two bathrooms?

Except having young kids makes hotels complicated. Do you really want to have to leave each night at 6 or 7pm so you can get your kids down for bed? And then what do you do until you’re ready for bed yourself? Mornings and meals bring its own complicated set of logistics.

I'm not a fan of crowded the whole family into a single bedroom, but it's often better than the alternative.

Hardly. I’ve done both and we just bathe the kids before heading over for dinner. They can fall asleep on a bed or sofa for a nap if they are tired and we wake them when it’s time to leave. Much less stressful to have our own space, comfortable beds and bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Get the hotel. I’m grown and if I go visit my parents, I wouldn’t want to share a room with one of my grown siblings. I certainly wouldn’t want to share a bed. Yes, I grew up with everyone piling into one house for the holidays and it makes me appreciate space so much more.

When I go visit my parents, I frequently get a hotel anyway just so everyone can have more space. It makes visits so much more enjoyable.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but no way would I share a bed with my sister or have someone else push me out of my room at my moms house. I’d easily share a bed with best friends but definitely not a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes insisting on doing what you think is the nice thing, over someone’s objections, isn’t actually the nicest thing. Your aunt wants you to stay with her and has come up with a solution. Just because you are concerned about putting her out doesn’t mean you actually are putting her out, when it’s what she offered (apparently genuinely since she got upset that you said you’d stay in a hotel). As others have pointed out, there are also downsides to staying in a hotel in this situation with the baby.