My kids bday and the live in partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my gosh, this is a huge red flag - for HIM. An ultimatum? That’s a very alarming level of crazy.

This. Now I’m wondering what other crazy ultimatums OP has made. This does not sound like a healthy relationship or a mentally healthy OP.

[Anonymous]

There is something very specific that is wrong about your BF that bothers him about himself and make him think you’re the best he can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, he should go to the conference. That is a professional responsibility and much more important than your girlfriend’s child’s birthday.

I think you are unreasonable and controlling for insisting he stays and misses his conference.

Agree. Do you work? I work for the government and this would constitute waste, fraud, and abuse.

[Anonymous]

Team Boyfriend. And I say this as someone who really loves birthdays and thinks they are important.

[Anonymous]

You are completely crazy. Birthdays can be celebrated early or late. They are not something that needs to stop the world from functioning. I cannot believe anyone would be so ridiculous as to blow up a relationship over a kid’s birthday. So I’m hoping troll too.

[Anonymous]

Women like OP give single moms everywhere a bad name.

[Anonymous]

I have sometimes missed my own kids’ actual birthdays due to work commitments. We always celebrate before or after. You’re in the wrong, OP.

[Anonymous]

yes, YTA this time.

[Anonymous]

Even biological parents have professional responsibilities that trump celebrating a child’s birthday on the actual day.

[Anonymous]

Wow you are overreacting. Hope he goes and bangs out a few broads there for all the trouble you put him through.

[Anonymous]

No adult woman would be this ridiculous, right?

[Anonymous]

I’m a mom with a daughter and live-in boyfriend, and I do think you’re overreacting.

I’d be upset if my bf missed her birthday for something like a guy’s trip, but a work conference? No. I also wouldn’t delay my own work conference for one of his kids’ birthdays.

What’s more concerning is that he’s been a major part of your daughters life for 2 years, and you jumped to kicking him out over this. It’s not good to have men coming in and out of your daughter’s life like that. Of course break up for something egregious, but you can’t have your daughter develop relationships with men and then cut them out of her life for something frivolous.

If you do break up with your boyfriend, don’t introduce any future men to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

You're WAY overreacting.
To the point where I'm wondering what kind of trauma you're carrying with you that you'd react in this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If appreciate some honest feedback, and ask you to refrain from moralities and whatnot.

My partner has been living with my daughter and I for the past couple of years. The actual relationship and family dynamic has been working well. My daughter loves him. He’s super helpful with all the kid logistics and is engaging with the kid etc. recently we realized that his out of state conference coincides with my daughters birthday. Would you expect him to miss the first day of the conference for her bday, and get upset if he didn’t volunteer to do that ? Sure he’s not the parent but we do all love together! My
Kid has an actual involved father, that’s not the thing. Partner has no kids.

I told him that this decision was a dealbreaker for me and he said he would go
Late to the conference, but I’m still pissed I had to insist instead of him just making it on his own. .

Am I overreacting?
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Yes. You are. My dh has missed his own kids' birthdays and we celebrated when we could. This is his job we are talking about not a frivolous trip

[Anonymous]

You're not married, he's not a step-dad, and even if he was... gee whiz, lady.