Holiday- help me think through a pared down Christmas that doesn't deprive my kids

[Anonymous]

Agree that stockings shouldn't be filled with crap. It can be a mix of fun stuff like chocolate with stuff you might have gotten them anyway. My DD needs new gloves this winter, they will be in her stocking rather than a random "here's your new gloves" in January. New toothbrush, $5 giftcard to their local favorite ice cream or coffee shop, pack of gum or mints if they like those things. Basically a lot of practical stuff but somehow it's more fun if it's in a stocking!

You can pare down gifts, totally fine to use the something to wear/read/need/want concept, and if they're old enough you can let them know that you're going to dial back gifts and focus on the season. If your Christmas isn't going to revolve around gifts, have some plans to fill the day. Maybe it's a big breakfast and then a family hike or cookie baking or a big family Monopoly competition complete with popcorn and cocoa.

Where you have the energy, you can fill the days before and after with fun and often inexpensive activities. US Botanical Gardens, driving around to see Christmas lights (best done in pajamas with hot cocoa in a thermos), charades night where the theme is all things holiday. You can google or check Pinterest for lots of low or no cost seasonal activities. The Christmas boat show or whatever it's called down on the Potomac is fun, we have fun wandering around Old Town Alexandria before and after. In addition to the Kennedy Center I'll bet there are lots of churches near you doing scaled down versions of the Messiah or nights of caroling by their choirs. Get dressed up and go listen one night!

In our house things like always having Christmas music on in the background make a difference. Sometimes it's silly pop versions, other times it's low key instrumentals of favorite carols but it adds to the season.

[Anonymous]

My parents didn’t have a ton of extra money when I was growing up, each kid always got one or two “big” gifts that were probably $50-100 total, plus a handful of smaller things that they knew we would be excited about. During elementary school, I remember getting things like new earrings (from Target), books, maybe some cute accessories like a scarf or hat. We also always had to make a Christmas wish list so that my parents knew generally what we wanted and were hoping to get. In years when they had a little less money to spend, they were up front about it so we knew what to expect. I never felt deprived and have so many great memories of Christmas time.

[Anonymous]

My mother used to get us the 10c used books from library book sales for our stockings. You say your kids love to read? Stock up on used books for presents or better yet take them on a used book store crawl during the holidays. $20-30 buys a lot of used books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This fall has been a lot (work stress requiring long hours/full focus, a few funerals, spouse traveling for work, etc). We also had some unanticipated expenses so I am not feeling as flush. Normally this time of year I have made good progress in terms of present shopping, planning for the holidays. But this year. I just can't muster the energy and enthusiasm.

Have already decided not to do a card, though maybe if I have the time over Xmas break, I will get it together and send a new years's card. We went on some nice trips this year.

My kids are in upper elementary and middle school (DD). I don't want to be a grinch. They don't really need anything. They love to read and the usual stuff. Could I get away with minimal gifts (thinking a gift card for clothes as they love choosing clothes themselves) and like candy/chocolat? They love to read and play video games together. I am just not feeling it with all the stocking stuffers, stuff I normally wouldn't question in the past, but just feels like a waste of money/landfill space? I'd rather save our money for meaningful experience (trip) but I don't know if I will have that planned out when it's Christmas.

Help! They are great kids. They want for nothing. But they are kids, after all, and none of this is their fault.

Of course you can do what you suggest. The holidays should be fun for all and exhausting to none. Why not have your kids help you bake cookies or make some fudge. Keep it simple and enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take them on an adventure, like taking the train to NYC or going to a fancy hotel downtown, sitting in the bar, and then having a cool/fun dinner at a fancy restaurant. I feel like that’s usually a hit with kids that age. Make sure you take amazing photos of them on the adventure if they do social media. This might not work for the elementary school kid if it’s a boy so possibly divide and conquer.

Why do I come back here to read this nonsense

This was a DCUM hall of fame comment for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take them on an adventure, like taking the train to NYC or going to a fancy hotel downtown, sitting in the bar, and then having a cool/fun dinner at a fancy restaurant. I feel like that’s usually a hit with kids that age. Make sure you take amazing photos of them on the adventure if they do social media. This might not work for the elementary school kid if it’s a boy so possibly divide and conquer.

Why do I come back here to read this nonsense

This was a DCUM hall of fame comment for me.

That response gave me a much-needed laugh today.

[Anonymous]

Can you do stockings with the items that people have suggested already, and take the kids on a black friday shopping trip where they each have some amount of money to pick out things? It's a fun event, everything is cheaper than buying right before xmas anyway, and they get to pick out things they see and like rather than come up with ideas ahead of time. I started doing that for my birthday with my mom when I hit middle school or something and really had a nice time, and created some special memories of those outings (more than whatever memories of opening up a pile of presents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that stockings shouldn't be filled with crap. It can be a mix of fun stuff like chocolate with stuff you might have gotten them anyway. My DD needs new gloves this winter, they will be in her stocking rather than a random "here's your new gloves" in January. New toothbrush, $5 giftcard to their local favorite ice cream or coffee shop, pack of gum or mints if they like those things. Basically a lot of practical stuff but somehow it's more fun if it's in a stocking!

You can pare down gifts, totally fine to use the something to wear/read/need/want concept, and if they're old enough you can let them know that you're going to dial back gifts and focus on the season. If your Christmas isn't going to revolve around gifts, have some plans to fill the day. Maybe it's a big breakfast and then a family hike or cookie baking or a big family Monopoly competition[u] complete with popcorn and cocoa.

Where you have the energy, you can fill the days before and after with fun and often inexpensive activities. US Botanical Gardens, driving around to see Christmas lights (best done in pajamas with hot cocoa in a thermos), charades night where the theme is all things holiday. You can google or check Pinterest for lots of low or no cost seasonal activities. The Christmas boat show or whatever it's called down on the Potomac is fun, we have fun wandering around Old Town Alexandria before and after. In addition to the Kennedy Center I'll bet there are lots of churches near you doing scaled down versions of the Messiah or nights of caroling by their choirs. Get dressed up and go listen one night!

In our house things like always having Christmas music on in the background make a difference. Sometimes it's silly pop versions, other times it's low key instrumentals of favorite carols but it adds to the season.

The winner could get a coupon book of therapy copays to deal with the emotional fallout of a family Monopoly game during the New Year.

[Anonymous]

If they like to play video games together, can you get them a big gift like a new gaming system? Plus video games and accessories, books, lots of candy for the stockings and gift cards? I think one year we got our kids a tv and play station for their room and they were very excited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would “we did some nice trips this year” be a consideration when deciding whether to send a New Year’s card? Why would your intention be to show off your vacations, and not to simply send New Year’s greetings and good wishes?

Can’t we just assume positive intent like once a week on this site? I read it as OP saying that they had some good vacation photos (that’s where a lot of people have the chance to take photos of their whole family together with a beautiful backdrop), so they wouldn’t need to find a photographer and take pictures specifically for the cards. Vacation photos could work.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your kids, ask them what they want. Likely a few video games and books might be enough. Some bath bombs and candy for the stockings. The memories are what are most important anyway, and you don't need a lot of money to have great memories.

[Anonymous]

5 Below worked for us one year when finances were tight. The kids were in elementary school at the time. Still go there for stocking stuffers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they like to play video games together, can you get them a big gift like a new gaming system? Plus video games and accessories, books, lots of candy for the stockings and gift cards? I think one year we got our kids a tv and play station for their room and they were very excited.

She’s trying to save money. That’s not cheap.

[Anonymous]

My kids would probably be thrilled with a stocking filled with grocery store candy and a $10 Starbucks card. I also am a big fan of getting them stuff they need and sticking it in the stocking — water bottle, sunglasses, gloves, etc. maybe slightly nicer than you would get otherwise. And a paperback book. Maybe hand cream or lip gloss/nail polish.

[Anonymous]

Can you take a day off work and enjoy some down time/take care of everything in one go?

I’d do a stocking and gift cards for post Christmas shopping since you said they’d like that. Get yourself a peppermint latte, then go to Trader Joe’s and world market and just take care of the stockings in one go (chocolate, other food stuff, some jewelry of other novelties). Then go home, put out the Christmas greenery or flowers you got at TJs, pour yourself some wine, put on some good music and do any wrapping. If you’re feeling motivated and in the spirit, bake some cookies and then watch a Christmas movie when they get home from school. You’ll all feel in the spirit for a day but without the crazy.

Actual Christmas Eve/day, do the appetizer thing others have suggested and maybe bake some pilsbury sticky buns or something else pre-prepped you’d usually not buy. Do stockings. Give gift cards. Watch more movies. Plan your shopping trip together.

No Christmas cards