Holiday- help me think through a pared down Christmas that doesn't deprive my kids

[Anonymous]

I guess I don't understand how your kids feel. You seem to think you buy stuff for their stockings that is junk, so how do they feel about it? If it's something they'll play with, then it's not junk. If it's something they won't play with, then it is junk but then they won't miss it either?

I have third-grade twins and they rarely ask for anything for Christmas or their birthdays because clothes (I let them pick but they're not at the stage where they want stuff they don't need), books, and equipment required for their sport are all things we buy when the need arises.

At Christmas and birthdays we generally go for experiences. This year for Christmas and their birthday combined they're getting a trip to somewhere they have been begging to go that is very expensive. I'll probably find a few fun little things that I think they'll like that but it won't be much because they agreed that the trip is their present and they're fine with it.

Why don't you talk to your kids about it? They're old enough to have an opinion on the topic.

[Anonymous]

I've often wondered about gifts and how they play out in different SES brackets. I grew up and still am UMC and gift giving was never a huge thing in my family. My husband grew up MC and his parents obsess about who gets what and how much is spent on everyone and they're super offended if things aren't equal and they often give token things like gift certificates that don't require any thought or effort. My family is more about experiences and thoughtful presents. My mom would rather have a $20 calendar from Snapfish than a $100 gift certificate to Nordstrom, for example. There was never an issue with who had however many gifts or what the combined cost of the gifts was. One year I got a new saddle and that was it. It was only a single thing, versus my siblings' multiple items, but it cost more than all their stuff combined. Another year I got lots of earrings because I had just gotten my ears pierced (and they were cheap kids earrings) and my brother got a BMX bike. We were both thrilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I always do minimal gifts, and not a lot of experiences. We're not a family that does much. Mostly what we cherish is time off from work and school, and cooking our favorite foods.

THIS!!

The reason Christmas is my favorite holiday is because it's basically a whole month of fun activities and lots of cozy family time. The gift part of Christmas morning itself is just a tiny part of the holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP no one needs a New Year card of your nice trips.

Pare down if you’d like but a gift card and chocolate is something you’d give to an acquaintance or caregiver

+1

I love holiday cards and I save every one I've ever gotten but I hate getting them after January 1 because I've already put the holiday stuff away and then I have these random cards floating around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would “we did some nice trips this year” be a consideration when deciding whether to send a New Year’s card? Why would your intention be to show off your vacations, and not to simply send New Year’s greetings and good wishes?

Yeah, OP's intentions with everything seem...off. The fact that you used the word DEPRIVED in your title to discuss your children's Christmas is really sad.

[Anonymous]

Since you like to travel - maybe get the kids inexpensive new suitcases or carry ons? TJmaxx has great variety and very reasonably priced. Then it's something "big" you can wrap and put under the tree that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and just keep the other gifts minimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've often wondered about gifts and how they play out in different SES brackets. I grew up and still am UMC and gift giving was never a huge thing in my family. My husband grew up MC and his parents obsess about who gets what and how much is spent on everyone and they're super offended if things aren't equal and they often give token things like gift certificates that don't require any thought or effort. My family is more about experiences and thoughtful presents. My mom would rather have a $20 calendar from Snapfish than a $100 gift certificate to Nordstrom, for example. There was never an issue with who had however many gifts or what the combined cost of the gifts was. One year I got a new saddle and that was it. It was only a single thing, versus my siblings' multiple items, but it cost more than all their stuff combined. Another year I got lots of earrings because I had just gotten my ears pierced (and they were cheap kids earrings) and my brother got a BMX bike. We were both thrilled.

This sounds like a family thing, not a MC vs UMC thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you like to travel - maybe get the kids inexpensive new suitcases or carry ons? TJmaxx has great variety and very reasonably priced. Then it's something "big" you can wrap and put under the tree that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and just keep the other gifts minimal.

God no. Children do not want luggage for Christmas. Do some of you even have kids??

[Anonymous]

Socks make an excellent stocking stuffer.

I like the idea of asking your kids the most important traditions you have for the holidays and focus on those. We also make sure each kid is getting something they are really excited about. And give a family gift that will keep everyone occupied on Christmas Day- board game, video game, puzzle, science kit, plans for a hike, whatever fits your family, so you are not just sitting around on Christmas Day feeling flat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you like to travel - maybe get the kids inexpensive new suitcases or carry ons? TJmaxx has great variety and very reasonably priced. Then it's something "big" you can wrap and put under the tree that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and just keep the other gifts minimal.

God no. Children do not want luggage for Christmas. Do some of you even have kids??

DP. Yes I have children (14,11, 7) and they would love their own suitcase. Middle one even mentioned it as a birthday present idea, and youngest was all “oh yes! That’s what I’m going to ask for!” We usually travel using our old beat up set from our honeymoon and share the big suitcases. But I’m imagining their own cases now that they can pack themselves.

So speak for yourself. Mine are getting their own roller bags. And I bet you anything they will be excited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you like to travel - maybe get the kids inexpensive new suitcases or carry ons? TJmaxx has great variety and very reasonably priced. Then it's something "big" you can wrap and put under the tree that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and just keep the other gifts minimal.

God no. Children do not want luggage for Christmas. Do some of you even have kids??

My parents gave me a luggage set for my 25th birthday. I never travel. I've used the suitcases to pack the couples of times I've moved house. Tried to give away the two bigger ones but nobody has wanted them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you like to travel - maybe get the kids inexpensive new suitcases or carry ons? TJmaxx has great variety and very reasonably priced. Then it's something "big" you can wrap and put under the tree that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and just keep the other gifts minimal.

God no. Children do not want luggage for Christmas. Do some of you even have kids??

My parents gave me a luggage set for my 25th birthday. I never travel. I've used the suitcases to pack the couples of times I've moved house. Tried to give away the two bigger ones but nobody has wanted them.

Ok, but this is luggage - for kids who travel. In fact kids who are going an a trip as a Christmas present. So a completely different situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This fall has been a lot (work stress requiring long hours/full focus, a few funerals, spouse traveling for work, etc). We also had some unanticipated expenses so I am not feeling as flush. Normally this time of year I have made good progress in terms of present shopping, planning for the holidays. But this year. I just can't muster the energy and enthusiasm.

Have already decided not to do a card, though maybe if I have the time over Xmas break, I will get it together and send a new years's card. We went on some nice trips this year.

My kids are in upper elementary and middle school (DD). I don't want to be a grinch. They don't really need anything. They love to read and the usual stuff. Could I get away with minimal gifts (thinking a gift card for clothes as they love choosing clothes themselves) and like candy/chocolat? They love to read and play video games together. I am just not feeling it with all the stocking stuffers, stuff I normally wouldn't question in the past, but just feels like a waste of money/landfill space? I'd rather save our money for meaningful experience (trip) but I don't know if I will have that planned out when it's Christmas.

Help! They are great kids. They want for nothing. But they are kids, after all, and none of this is their fault.

Good lord, you need help in parking dien Christmas? Unbelievable! Common sense is a wonderful tool and every single person is blessed with it so use your common sense. You keep it simple. Your children no longer believe in Santa and this eliminates 95% of holiday hassle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you like to travel - maybe get the kids inexpensive new suitcases or carry ons? TJmaxx has great variety and very reasonably priced. Then it's something "big" you can wrap and put under the tree that doesn't cost an arm and a leg, and just keep the other gifts minimal.

God no. Children do not want luggage for Christmas. Do some of you even have kids??

My kids got their suitcases for Christmas and they loved it.

[Anonymous]

A collection of used books is thrifty, provides plenty to unwrap and hours of enjoyment. Stocking stuffers can be the chocolate, fun pair of socks, and other inexpensive item. Add one or two other items you know they would like and you are set.