Having another child after a bad case of PPD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure if I actually had PPD after my first - never diagnosed - but at a minimum I had serious "baby blues," cried a ton, felt very hopeless/sad/overwhelmed for the first 3ish months.

I did not have any of the same feelings with my second.

I could have written this. No PPD/PPA diagnosis, but definitely felt the baby blues. I think some of it was that we had no family around and my husband worked remotely for a month doing very stressful deadline-driven work and then went back to work and I was on maternity leave for 22 weeks. It should have been great, but it was a huge adjustment and there was never a break during the day. It was me and the baby for 12 hours. Throw in really bad colic until 5 months, difficulty nursing, and horrible sleeping for the first 13 weeks and it's not surprising in retrospect.

My second was a dream. She wasn't colicky, she was better at nursing, she was a decent sleeper and my husband took four weeks off after her birth and was home, albeit working (thanks COVID!) for 20 weeks even though I only had 13 weeks of maternity leave. I was also more prepared for what the newborn experience would be like and more confident as a mother. I went through such an identity shift with my first and I didn't go through that with my second.

OP - You may find that the second time is easier (I hope you do!), but it's good to anticipate the worst and work with that frame of reference so you can do what you can to make sure that you have the support you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure if I actually had PPD after my first - never diagnosed - but at a minimum I had serious "baby blues," cried a ton, felt very hopeless/sad/overwhelmed for the first 3ish months.

I did not have any of the same feelings with my second.

I could have written this. No PPD/PPA diagnosis, but definitely felt the baby blues. I think some of it was that we had no family around and my husband worked remotely for a month doing very stressful deadline-driven work and then went back to work and I was on maternity leave for 22 weeks. It should have been great, but it was a huge adjustment and there was never a break during the day. It was me and the baby for 12 hours. Throw in really bad colic until 5 months, difficulty nursing, and horrible sleeping for the first 13 weeks and it's not surprising in retrospect.

My second was a dream. She wasn't colicky, she was better at nursing, she was a decent sleeper and my husband took four weeks off after her birth and was home, albeit working (thanks COVID!) for 20 weeks even though I only had 13 weeks of maternity leave. I was also more prepared for what the newborn experience would be like and more confident as a mother. I went through such an identity shift with my first and I didn't go through that with my second.

OP - You may find that the second time is easier (I hope you do!), but it's good to anticipate the worst and work with that frame of reference so you can do what you can to make sure that you have the support you have.

*The support. you need*