How to accept my SN child fully

[Anonymous]

I just saw that you’re not local.
Raising Orchids is accessible online.

[Anonymous]

I feel like accepting them fully means actually not expecting that they'll outgrow their challenges. This means not encouraging goals that aren't realistic for NT kids, much less ones with SNs, even if it's what the SN kid says they want. UVA/W&M/even JMU isn't happening. Let it go. They might get only ever get an AA degree and that will be just fine. (Forget about skilled trades like electrician or commercial driver because those are really hard for most people with LDs.) Start now to develop the skills that they'll need to live a happy life as a person who isn't extraordinary. Realize that most DCUM people consider extraordinary lives to be ordinary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like accepting them fully means actually not expecting that they'll outgrow their challenges. This means not encouraging goals that aren't realistic for NT kids, much less ones with SNs, even if it's what the SN kid says they want. UVA/W&M/even JMU isn't happening. Let it go. They might get only ever get an AA degree and that will be just fine. (Forget about skilled trades like electrician or commercial driver because those are really hard for most people with LDs.) Start now to develop the skills that they'll need to live a happy life as a person who isn't extraordinary. Realize that most DCUM people consider extraordinary lives to be ordinary.

I just need to correct you here. My son who has low IQ earned his CDL. By no means was it easy. I sat with him doing so many practice tests that I could get the permit myself. He is also a skilled auto technician. If you ride buses in the DMV, you might encounter him.

I have two kids with SN. I was told that neither would graduate from HS and that I should permit them to be placed in a certificate program. This was the message I got starting in ES. My feeling was that they might be right. But I thought it was too early to make that decision. I never gave up but I was able to acknowledge the potential reality. In the end both got HS diplomas (which required a lot of support) and, as I said above, one got a CDL and is an auto technician. He has not, however been able to pass ASEs.

And actually, an AA degree is so out of reach for many kids. Many people are wondering if our kids are capable of tethering carts in the Safeway parking lot which is a part time minimum wage job.