How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 5 I would have pulled her aside, explained to her what you did at home, then find the woman and apologized and given the 5 year old an opportunity to ask questions so she could better understand people and their differences.

As a woman with a disability I find it offense you want me to do your parenting job and educate your child. I'm not here for your performative apology. I just want to live my life, not be a disability AMA

+ 1 million. I use a walker. Sometimes kids ask why. My response is "so I don't fall". That's it. I certainly don't expect to stand there answering questions and would not appreciate PP's suggested approach.

Op, how about "it's not nice to laugh at people"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 5 I would have pulled her aside, explained to her what you did at home, then find the woman and apologized and given the 5 year old an opportunity to ask questions so she could better understand people and their differences.

As a woman with a disability I find it offense you want me to do your parenting job and educate your child. I'm not here for your performative apology. I just want to live my life, not be a disability AMA

+ 1 million. I use a walker. Sometimes kids ask why. My response is "so I don't fall". That's it. I certainly don't expect to stand there answering questions and would not appreciate PP's suggested approach.

Op, how about "it's not nice to laugh at people"?

Amen to this.

[Anonymous]

OP: Relax. Your daughter is just 4 years old. She was just giving a natural reaction. You did the right thing by not making the matter bigger than it was and by speaking to your child privately later on.

Adults understand that children are innocent and do not mean any harm or derision.

[Anonymous]

Lecture them in a serious tone. Eventually, they will get it, OP. Don't worry too much.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:She’s 4. You seriously thought she knew not to do this??? Sorry to burst your awesome parenting bubble, but…SHE’S FOUR. She saw someone walking differently. It amused her. You’re acting as if she knew the woman was disabled.

Relax.

Yes. I'm surprised because we have been doing what op said about teaching different types of diversity and bodied, and kindness.

This is a perfect example of how when you only talk this game, it doesn’t work. The talking doesn’t matter it you don’t have any diverse friends.

No, this is a perfect example of a 4 year old with no life experience not recognizing that someone was disabled. Which is ok, because the kid is FOUR.

Tell me your circle is not diverse, without telling me your circle is not diverse.

It’s cool, though - keep talking to your kids. But we all know that kids don’t do what you SAY - they do what you DO.

I just can’t get over your complete smugness in the face of your incorrect, idiotic assumptions. The one time I wish DCUM weren’t anonymous.

Dp. This persons response to you was totally ridiculous and obnoxious. I think you did the right thing talking to her about it afterwards so she can learn. 4 year olds aren’t expected to be perfect or have a “diverse circle”.

I’m not talking about the child’s circle.

You can talk all you want about diversity and how important it is. If YOUR circle, whatever that is, is not diverse - it’s just lip service. No matter how hard you protest on DCUM. And your kids know it. And they show it. No matter how embarrassed you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 5 I would have pulled her aside, explained to her what you did at home, then find the woman and apologized and given the 5 year old an opportunity to ask questions so she could better understand people and their differences.

What if the person doesn't want to answer questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strange that your kids would point this out and make fun

I guarantee that the kid has seen adults "walk funny" on purpose, and did not realize that the woman was not doing it intentionally. She likely had no idea that the woman had any kind of disability. Kids walk like animals, hop like bunnies, take teeny steps or giant steps, etc. She's FOUR and thought the woman was pretending to be a penguin and thought it was funny.

I don’t agree. There is a mom at our preschool that wears leg braces and used a cane and therefore walks differently. I have literally never seen a child laugh at her, after hundreds of times picking up at the same time. I have heard children ask to borrow her cane or tell her they know someone else who has a cane (my child did that). That’s it. I really think this is not as normal as people are pretending. I’m sure your child is a good kid but I would take this very seriously- I think the message is you don’t laugh at people ever when they are just going about their normal life. You don’t assume people are performing for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s 4. You seriously thought she knew not to do this??? Sorry to burst your awesome parenting bubble, but…SHE’S FOUR. She saw someone walking differently. It amused her. You’re acting as if she knew the woman was disabled.

Relax.

Yes. I'm surprised because we have been doing what op said about teaching different types of diversity and bodied, and kindness.

This is a perfect example of how when you only talk this game, it doesn’t work. The talking doesn’t matter it you don’t have any diverse friends.

No, this is a perfect example of a 4 year old with no life experience not recognizing that someone was disabled. Which is ok, because the kid is FOUR.

Tell me your circle is not diverse, without telling me your circle is not diverse.

It’s cool, though - keep talking to your kids. But we all know that kids don’t do what you SAY - they do what you DO.

Oh geez

[Anonymous]

You handled it perfectly. She's 4.
My child pointed out someone who was incredibly obese when she was that age. I was mortified. She has grown up to be a kind and caring person. Some people on this thread expect maturity that a four year old does not have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s 4. She saw something unexpected and she laughed. She doesn’t understand disability. She’s 4!

You did the right thing to talk to her about it, of course. Next time, though, the better talking point is “her legs work differently.” Not “her legs don’t work.” The woman with a disability isn’t broken. She’s different. And we don’t laugh at difference.

Some people’s legs don’t work at all. If this woman walked like a penguin then my guess is her hips/and/or her lower spine don’t have the rotation they’re supposed to. They don’t work right.

They work differently.

I am generally annoyed by "differently abled" -- there really are such things as disabilities -- but in this case, that's how her body works, it's different, and we don't laugh at people for being different.