How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

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10/30/2022 07:32

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:She’s 4. She saw something unexpected and she laughed. She doesn’t understand disability. She’s 4!

You did the right thing to talk to her about it, of course. Next time, though, the better talking point is “her legs work differently.” Not “her legs don’t work.” The woman with a disability isn’t broken. She’s different. And we don’t laugh at difference.

Some people’s legs don’t work at all. If this woman walked like a penguin then my guess is her hips/and/or her lower spine don’t have the rotation they’re supposed to. They don’t work right.

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10/30/2022 07:44

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I’d have shushed my kid immediately, and told the woman I was so sorry about my child, and then told my kid once we were in private about people with disabilities and how hurtful laughing, pointing, imitating, etc can be.

+1

Keep in mind that she wasn’t laughing at someone’s disability. She had no recognition there was a disability. She was laughing at someone who was walking in a way she perceived as funny, which from her life experience was more likely to be a deliberate choice for effect (has she seen people tiptoe, take little baby steps or giant steps, walk backwards, skip, etc?). Once you explained about the disability, she felt remorse and wanted to offer comfort. Your child just has limited life experience, and I’m sure the woman recognized that. I think most people can distinguish between a child’s innocent laughter and deliberate ridicule. The above response would have been the polite course of action and would have indicated that you were going to address the matter with your child.

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10/30/2022 07:57

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

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Anonymous

I think the problem with most of these responses is that it comes from the perspective of the four-year-old. The the woman whose legs don't work doesn't care if the four-year-old was laughing at her disability or her funny walk whatever. She was most likely hurt that the girl was laughing at her at all. This is a good lesson in empathy and kindness for the parent too

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10/30/2022 08:00

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

At 5 I would have pulled her aside, explained to her what you did at home, then find the woman and apologized and given the 5 year old an opportunity to ask questions so she could better understand people and their differences.

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10/30/2022 08:01

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem with most of these responses is that it comes from the perspective of the four-year-old. The the woman whose legs don't work doesn't care if the four-year-old was laughing at her disability or her funny walk whatever. She was most likely hurt that the girl was laughing at her at all. This is a good lesson in empathy and kindness for the parent too

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10/30/2022 08:03

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Do most people asking questions on this forum simply lack common sense?

I think we all have our blind spots, areas of ignorance, insecurities and doubts. Although I’m not the OP of this thread, I’m sure I’ve asked questions others felt unnecessary. It seems to me that having an awareness that you don’t have all the answers and being willing to seek counsel from those that might have more experience or a different perspective is just common sense.

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10/30/2022 08:03

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:At 5 I would have pulled her aside, explained to her what you did at home, then find the woman and apologized and given the 5 year old an opportunity to ask questions so she could better understand people and their differences.

As a woman with a disability I find it offense you want me to do your parenting job and educate your child. I'm not here for your performative apology. I just want to live my life, not be a disability AMA

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10/30/2022 08:04

Subject: Re:How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s 4. You seriously thought she knew not to do this??? Sorry to burst your awesome parenting bubble, but…SHE’S FOUR. She saw someone walking differently. It amused her. You’re acting as if she knew the woman was disabled.

Relax.

Yes. I'm surprised because we have been doing what op said about teaching different types of diversity and bodied, and kindness.

This is a perfect example of how when you only talk this game, it doesn’t work. The talking doesn’t matter it you don’t have any diverse friends.

No, this is a perfect example of a 4 year old with no life experience not recognizing that someone was disabled. Which is ok, because the kid is FOUR.

Tell me your circle is not diverse, without telling me your circle is not diverse.

It’s cool, though - keep talking to your kids. But we all know that kids don’t do what you SAY - they do what you DO.

I just can’t get over your complete smugness in the face of your incorrect, idiotic assumptions. The one time I wish DCUM weren’t anonymous.

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10/30/2022 08:07

Subject: Re:How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s 4. You seriously thought she knew not to do this??? Sorry to burst your awesome parenting bubble, but…SHE’S FOUR. She saw someone walking differently. It amused her. You’re acting as if she knew the woman was disabled.

Relax.

Yes. I'm surprised because we have been doing what op said about teaching different types of diversity and bodied, and kindness.

This is a perfect example of how when you only talk this game, it doesn’t work. The talking doesn’t matter it you don’t have any diverse friends.

No, this is a perfect example of a 4 year old with no life experience not recognizing that someone was disabled. Which is ok, because the kid is FOUR.

Tell me your circle is not diverse, without telling me your circle is not diverse.

It’s cool, though - keep talking to your kids. But we all know that kids don’t do what you SAY - they do what you DO.

I just can’t get over your complete smugness in the face of your incorrect, idiotic assumptions. The one time I wish DCUM weren’t anonymous.

Dp. This persons response to you was totally ridiculous and obnoxious. I think you did the right thing talking to her about it afterwards so she can learn. 4 year olds aren’t expected to be perfect or have a “diverse circle”.

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10/30/2022 08:12

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do most people asking questions on this forum simply lack common sense?

I think we all have our blind spots, areas of ignorance, insecurities and doubts. Although I’m not the OP of this thread, I’m sure I’ve asked questions others felt unnecessary. It seems to me that having an awareness that you don’t have all the answers and being willing to seek counsel from those that might have more experience or a different perspective is just common sense.

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10/30/2022 08:24

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

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Anonymous

Agree a 4/5 year old might see this as a person deliberately walking “funny” for effect.

You did lead by example. Were you laughing at the woman, no? Kids can be exposed to many situations, but a child that age is still encountering many new situations. Teach and move on.

FWIW, I have a preschooler with Type 1 Diabetes. Kids and ADULTS are always shocked when they see a tiny kid getting injections. Some people turn away, some stare in not so discreet ways. I have heard adults exclaim OMG that baby just got a shot! I have heard parents (who probably know a diabetic) explain to their kids. I have had little kids come up and ask me why I gave a shot. Life happens.

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10/30/2022 09:42

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

I would have shushed and apologized for her. Just want to commiserate with you OP, my 3yo saw an older child in a wheelchair (likely cerebral palsy or similar) and got scared and started running away afraid. I was totally mortified.

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10/30/2022 09:45

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Strange that your kids would point this out and make fun

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10/30/2022 12:34

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Strange that your kids would point this out and make fun

A**hole kids and parents are everywhere.

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10/30/2022 13:38

Subject: How would you handle an almost 5 year old laughing at someone's disability,?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:Strange that your kids would point this out and make fun

I guarantee that the kid has seen adults "walk funny" on purpose, and did not realize that the woman was not doing it intentionally. She likely had no idea that the woman had any kind of disability. Kids walk like animals, hop like bunnies, take teeny steps or giant steps, etc. She's FOUR and thought the woman was pretending to be a penguin and thought it was funny.