How to teach shy kid good manners?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone

Some kids need someone to guide them gently and show what/how to do it, not expect them to pick it up by osmosis.

+1
That is the reason that American schools have such ill-mannered and disruptive kids. It is a big failure of their parents. Parents have to put in time and effort to teach their children, but they could not be bothered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone

Some kids need someone to guide them gently and show what/how to do it, not expect them to pick it up by osmosis.

+1
That is the reason that American schools have such ill-mannered and disruptive kids. It is a big failure of their parents. Parents have to put in time and effort to teach their children, but they could not be bothered.

At an appropriate age.

[Anonymous]

Role-playing at home and taking turns being the adult and kid is fun and helps with this. I agree that it's probably not that helpful to drag it out in public. Your kid is still very young as well. I wouldn't be surprised if she comes out of her shell as she gets more confident in different kinds of situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We began when kids were very little. I would always be with my kids and usually I would prompt them. Typical interaction when they were little would be first I would greet my friend like I wanted my kid to greet them and then prompt them.

Me (to my friend): Hi, Ms. Susie!
Me (bending to my DD): Larla, can you say Hi to Ms. Susie?
Larla: Hi Ms. Susie!
Susie : Hi Larla. You are looking very cute today in your frilly dress!
Me (prompting my DD): Can you say "Thank You" to Ms. Susie for complimenting you on your cute dress?
Larla: Thank You, Ms. Susie.
Susie: You are welcome, Larla.
Me: Will you excuse us, Ms. Susie? We are going to find Larla's friends so Larla can play with them, and then I will be right back with you.

Always prompt your kids and explain what you are doing. Also, prep them before social events - "Larla, please remember to say hello to Ms. Susie and other people. It is nice to greet everyone with a smile. Then you can go and play with your friends. I will be with you and remind you but when you are a bit older, I expect you to do this without mommy, ok?

Teach them the polite phrases and when to use them - Thank you very much. You are welcome. Yes, please. No, Thank you. I am sorry. Please excuse me.

Also, good manners are about good behavior. Teach them to be empathic and share. As a parent, you must cut short your visit and interactions if you feel your kid is hungry, sleepy and cranky. Don't have playdates that go on for too long because it will end in tears.

Prompt your kid in the greetings and farewells with their friends too.

You also have to model your behavior for that so that they learn from you, and teach these at home in interactions with you. Remember Grey and how he always thanks his mom when she gives him food?

Your children are not like OP's child, this is clear. I am an NP with a shy child who has some social anxiety. We practice a lot at home, I do prompt her, but she has a hard time talking to people and although she has great behavior at home, in school, and with people she is comfortable with, I can and will not force her to talk to people when she is feeling uncomfortable. It IS slowly getting better as she gets older, but when she was 6, she would literally hide behind me, she was so scared to talk to people she didn't know or barely knew (she obviously did much better with her friends and teachers at school, but it probably took the entire first quarter to get her to talk in class in Kindergarten). All this to say to the OP - keep practicing at home, prompting your child and modeling good behavior, but do not force them to do anything they're uncomfortable with. It certainly sounds like you are on the right track.