How to teach shy kid good manners?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to force it!


Then she will never learn. There are tons of impolite teens and twentysomethings whose parents never forced it.


And there are tons of polite teens and young adults whose parents never forced it.

I say this is totally age appropriate for 6 and you should continue as you are. Your expectations are not in line with her current abilities. Continue to practice and continue to give her ever increasing opportunities to speak up as she gets older. You will just make her more anxious. Don't label her as shy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone


All of this. The parents harping on the situation wil cause harm


+2
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone




No they won't, they'll think it's ok to do as they please.


Inane comment.
Anonymous
OP, 6 is very young. Back off and gently practice just a little as she ages. Don’t force it and leave her be for now and don’t call her shy. She is still very young.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone


All of this. The parents harping on the situation wil cause harm


+2


+3
Anonymous
Had a random teacher at school who made a scene most mornings at drop off and tried to force my child and others at around this age.she always made it worse and did not help to get the children to open up. She actually caused the opposite reaction of what she was trying to “teach.”
They will get it later and under the appropriate guidance. Do not attempt to force it and they will come around at the right age. Being six is too young for this.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stop trying to force it!


Then she will never learn. There are tons of impolite teens and twentysomethings whose parents never forced it.


And there are tons of polite teens and young adults whose parents never forced it.

I say this is totally age appropriate for 6 and you should continue as you are. Your expectations are not in line with her current abilities. Continue to practice and continue to give her ever increasing opportunities to speak up as she gets older. You will just make her more anxious. Don't label her as shy.


+1 agree
Anonymous
We began when kids were very little. I would always be with my kids and usually I would prompt them. Typical interaction when they were little would be first I would greet my friend like I wanted my kid to greet them and then prompt them.

Me (to my friend): Hi, Ms. Susie!
Me (bending to my DD): Larla, can you say Hi to Ms. Susie?
Larla: Hi Ms. Susie!
Susie : Hi Larla. You are looking very cute today in your frilly dress!
Me (prompting my DD): Can you say "Thank You" to Ms. Susie for complimenting you on your cute dress?
Larla: Thank You, Ms. Susie.
Susie: You are welcome, Larla.
Me: Will you excuse us, Ms. Susie? We are going to find Larla's friends so Larla can play with them, and then I will be right back with you.

Always prompt your kids and explain what you are doing. Also, prep them before social events - "Larla, please remember to say hello to Ms. Susie and other people. It is nice to greet everyone with a smile. Then you can go and play with your friends. I will be with you and remind you but when you are a bit older, I expect you to do this without mommy, ok?

Teach them the polite phrases and when to use them - Thank you very much. You are welcome. Yes, please. No, Thank you. I am sorry. Please excuse me.

Also, good manners are about good behavior. Teach them to be empathic and share. As a parent, you must cut short your visit and interactions if you feel your kid is hungry, sleepy and cranky. Don't have playdates that go on for too long because it will end in tears.

Prompt your kid in the greetings and farewells with their friends too.

You also have to model your behavior for that so that they learn from you, and teach these at home in interactions with you. Remember Grey and how he always thanks his mom when she gives him food?
Anonymous
Wow that kid has a huge head
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Alana seems to be feeling a bit shy today. We’re working on it. She’s six; how old is your son?


Nope. Don't label your kid, particularly in front of others. And if you want to teach her to respond, you don't step in for her. You let her handle the interaction no matter how awkward.

See UMD's Preschool Shyness Project and earlier thread about selective mutism.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am VERY soft spoken, so its been hard for me to learn throughout my life that it doesn't count if I say "thank you" quietly and no one hears it. If they don't hear you say "thank you" or "excuse me" or whatever, it's the same as not saying it - others are still going to think you are rude.

So when one of my kids says it quietly, I have them repeat it until they are heard. "Say it so they can hear you" gets repeated ad nauseum.


I taught my kids that not all kids have good manners and mine should be proud they do. So when they're saying something because it's polite, "be loud and proud." Seems to work.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone

Some kids need someone to guide them gently and show what/how to do it, not expect them to pick it up by osmosis.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone

Some kids need someone to guide them gently and show what/how to do it, not expect them to pick it up by osmosis.


They need that an a more appropriate age. 6 is still too young.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wow that kid has a huge head


Now your parents did not teach you any manners, did they?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Leave your child alone, he is young and you will only aggravate the situation. He will get it as he ages. Leave him alone

Some kids need someone to guide them gently and show what/how to do it, not expect them to pick it up by osmosis.


They need that an a more appropriate age. 6 is still too young.


Not at all. 6 is a perfect age to prompt them and teach by example. By the time they are 10, good manners will be ingrained in them and second nature.
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