Money gift to "go buy X" - I can ignore, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn't accept cash for a specific purpose if I had no intention of using it for that. I would just say "no thanks, I don't buy cut flowers" (I don't, I generally they're wasteful/messy, although they are pretty).

I think if you are regularly taking money from this person with no intention of using it for what it's intended for, that seems a bit duplicitous.

+1
If someone gave me money to buy flowers, I'd either use it to buy flowers or I'd politely decline on the grounds that I didn't want flowers. If they say something like, "Oh, then just buy something nice for yourself," I'd accept it with thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally wouldn't accept cash for a specific purpose if I had no intention of using it for that. I would just say "no thanks, I don't buy cut flowers" (I don't, I generally they're wasteful/messy, although they are pretty).

I think if you are regularly taking money from this person with no intention of using it for what it's intended for, that seems a bit duplicitous.

+1
If someone gave me money to buy flowers, I'd either use it to buy flowers or I'd politely decline on the grounds that I didn't want flowers. If they say something like, "Oh, then just buy something nice for yourself," I'd accept it with thanks.

This is perfect. I am not into using "white lies" unless it is for a truly therapeutic purpose, like you dad with dementia keeps asking about his brother who died and you just say he is on a trip with his wife. That keeps a person who is already disabled from falling apart. There is no reason to have to keep up some like about buying flowers.

This is far more extreme, but my mother once gave me a generous birthday check, but said she expected me to vote republican in the upcoming election if I hoped to inherit anything. I asked her if she would still be giving me the check if I didn't do that. She said no. I gave her back the check and said I cannot follow through with her wishes. It felt right because I was being honest. She didn't need the money, but integrity matters to me and I just didn't want to lie.