Why eldest sibling is almost always default appointee for parental caretaking

[Anonymous]

In the 3 parts of my family I see up close:

-One was the oldest becuase the younger moved away.
-One was the youngest of 3 because she was never married and never had kids and had the most flexible time and resources.
-And one was the younger becuase she was needy and rather codependent with the mom and the parents moved to be near her before they ever needed care.

[Anonymous]

I am the oldest, and I rebelled and ran away. My youngest brother and my sister can have the responsibility. My other brother is dead. My mother only loves me if I follow her rules, and I refuse to comply. You are as free as you want to be, OP. I am free, and freedom is worth everything to me.

[Anonymous]

I think traditionally it’s because the oldest probably doesn’t have very young kids AND traditionally the oldest was the primary beneficiary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think traditionally it’s because the oldest probably doesn’t have very young kids AND traditionally the oldest was the primary beneficiary.

Honey, this isn’t Tudor England. That’s not how inheritances work or have worked for even 100 years in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think traditionally it’s because the oldest probably doesn’t have very young kids AND traditionally the oldest was the primary beneficiary.

Honey, this isn’t Tudor England. That’s not how inheritances work or have worked for even 100 years in this country.

Interesting all those father-son businesses I know of even today, and I’m not a time traveler…

[Anonymous]

We actually split it up. Eldest did all the road trips got treatment. Middle managed care, dealt with physicians and facilities, handled ER trips, based on experience in those areas. Youngest handled the money and did a good and very objective job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We actually split it up. Eldest did all the road trips got treatment. Middle managed care, dealt with physicians and facilities, handled ER trips, based on experience in those areas. Youngest handled the money and did a good and very objective job.

Same here with different tasking. I hear it is not unusual for handling these responsibilities to cause friction between/amongst siblings so I really appreciated how we were able to communicate and coordinate to share the support our parents needed. Same with DH and his siblings.

[Anonymous]

Oldest and only daughter (I have two younger brothers) here. Can confirm.

[Anonymous]

I would say it is either the most capable daughter or the son that lives closest to the parent. In both my family and my husband's family it is the youngest daughter. In both families the oldest daughter can barely take care of herself and has never been the responsible child.

[Anonymous]

Not true in my family -- it's always the daughter, if there are mixed girls/boys.