Guy takes forever to respond to texts

[Anonymous]

Why don't you call him? A lot of people aren't into texting.

[Anonymous]

He sounds great. OP sounds exhausting to me.

You're just not compatible.

[Anonymous]

Extravagant dates twice a week sounds great. Maybe he wants to save the conversations for when you’re together. What do you text him? Is it one word texts like “Hi” or “Sup?” Or do you send him a picture of something that’s an inside joke that would pique his interest.

Also, do you ever send suggestive texts? If he doesn’t respond to those asap then he’s definitely not into you.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert and texting is my favorite. I hate facetime or talking on the phone.

I have to agree with the posters who say he's just not that into you. 24 hours to respond to a text is ridiculous; I only do that when I'm avoiding someone.

[Anonymous]

I am not quick to respond to texts these days. I abhor being chained to my phone and typing long messages. I absolutely won't do it if I am engaged in doing something else...if someone want so just chit chat over text, then that can wait until I get home and have some time to focus and not interrupt work, or errands, or driving, or time with friends, or workouts, etc. And sometimes I'm tired and sick of screens and I just don't want to communicate that way. I'm guilty of occasionally taking a day or two to respond.

When I'm dating someone I like a lot, I am usually more responsive, but not always. I'm very responsive if we're making plans, someone needs an answer quickly, its something short, etc. But even then if its something like "how is your day?" it can wait until I get home and have some time to sit and deal with it. So in a way I agree with folks saying he's just not that in to you, but also think your expectations are too high of this particular person. And I can tell you if someone complained about me not responding quick enough that would be a quick journey to breakup town for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just gonna call it quits. It’s a weird dynamic where he puts forth a ton of effort for extravagant dates twice a week, is very engaged when we are together, then just seems lackluster in between the dates. I’m not even a huge texted and hate to talk in the phone, but at 2 months I kinda expect a daily light check in.

What are you texting him about? If it is a gif or meme, then it doesn't seem to merit much of a response.

It doesn't sound like he's disinterested, just that you have different communication styles and expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is high maintenance to expect a daily check in after two months. I am a woman. You have extravagant dates twice a week? This would be more than enough for me. Good luck. Sounds like you need someone needy.

I would be ok with this. I don't need meaningless banter every day if I am seeing him twice a week. Send him my way

[Anonymous]

Before you break up, stop initiating texts and see what happens. Match his energy

[Anonymous]

I hate being on my phone, and when I am, I hate texting above pretty much everything else. Maybe he's the same. If he's putting all that effort into frequent dates, it sounds like he actually is into you but just doesn't want to text so much. Is that so bad? If it is, then maybe it's just a mismatch for you, not something wrong with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just gonna call it quits. It’s a weird dynamic where he puts forth a ton of effort for extravagant dates twice a week, is very engaged when we are together, then just seems lackluster in between the dates. I’m not even a huge texted and hate to talk in the phone, but at 2 months I kinda expect a daily light check in.

OP I agree you should end this. What you're looking for is normal. I'm married with kids and I don't see how anyone could handle marriage and kids if it takes them 24 hours to respond to the person they're with. Some of these people claiming it's needy to expect daily communication are incapable of intimacy.

[Anonymous]

What is intimate about texting?
Some of us are not codependent with our partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a very compartmentalized person. He has days for dates and he has days for other things (not necessarily cheating). Some people are miffed when they receive chit chatty meaningless texts.
I have a female friend who has a strictly one track mind. It takes her serious effort to juggle various things. It makes things like ordering food or some other things of the same level of planning effort just too much for her at times.

That is me!! I am horrible at task switching. I set aside a time of day to catch up on texts because I can’t deal with the barrage of texts coming in at random times when I’m doing other things.

[Anonymous]

Does he ever initiate communication or is it all coming from you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is intimate about texting?
Some of us are not codependent with our partners.

Let me guess - you're not married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So glad texting wasn’t a thing when I was dating DW

I agree! I met dh in the 90s.