How would you take this comment from a travel sports coach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean…it’s sports. It’s a coach. They are evaluating your child’s ability. They size kids up based on build and how they move. His initial assessment was wrong. That’s it.

+1 I’d be happy that the coach recognizes now that your kid has some speed and leave it at that. Too many coaches have biases or assumptions about body types that can lead them to overlook kids’ abilities, and here’s a coach who took some time to focus on what your kid can do. All good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yikes, that is really light. My son is 5 foot and 85 lbs, and I can see his ribs when he walks around with his shirt off. I also have to order him special "slim" sized pants. He does have larger shoulders, but I can't imagine him weighing 15 lbs less and being taller.


My boy is slim/skeletal. He eats an insane amount and it active. He is 11, so is just starting to get shoulders and chest - but no where near filling out. Both his dad and myself are lean. So it is genetics. Dad would be described as a beanpole build (very tall, lean). Pediatrician looks at his dad and has zero concerns. He eats what he needs. Pants are a NIGHTMARE to but. He has an 8 year's old waist but the length for a 12 year old.

That's all fine and good, but I don't think it is helpful to OP. It's not what most kids should be striving for, even if it is healthy for your own child in light of his particular genetics.

Not OP, but a 5 foot 85 pound kid is stocky. I would think football player/rugby at that weight - and yes, would be surprised if fast.

No, he’s not. That’s a bmi at the 28th percentile. 40th percentile
for weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean…it’s sports. It’s a coach. They are evaluating your child’s ability. They size kids up based on build and how they move. His initial assessment was wrong. That’s it.

+1 I’d be happy that the coach recognizes now that your kid has some speed and leave it at that. Too many coaches have biases or assumptions about body types that can lead them to overlook kids’ abilities, and here’s a coach who took some time to focus on what your kid can do. All good.

You must be white. Usually when a coach says something like "you look <something> but your ability is <something>" it's often racially tinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a former chubby boy, I’ll weigh in. As a 10 year old, I was about 4’11 and over 100lbs ( I think 110 if memory serves - I remember not wanting to do wrestling because they posted the weights of the kids that did it).

When a coach would tell me things like this, I took it as nothing but a compliment. I knew I didn’t look fast but that i was faster than most of the other kids.

As many former chubby kids, I grew out of it once I went through puberty.

That’s my son’s size, a baseball catcher. He has tree trunk legs and a big butt. People often remark “wow, he’s fast” I think it’s mainly because people assume he’d be slow.

[Anonymous]

Coach gonna coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean…it’s sports. It’s a coach. They are evaluating your child’s ability. They size kids up based on build and how they move. His initial assessment was wrong. That’s it.

+1 I’d be happy that the coach recognizes now that your kid has some speed and leave it at that. Too many coaches have biases or assumptions about body types that can lead them to overlook kids’ abilities, and here’s a coach who took some time to focus on what your kid can do. All good.

You must be white. Usually when a coach says something like "you look <something> but your ability is <something>" it's often racially tinged.

I am white, and I am well aware that racial as well as body-type biases come into play all the time with coaches. One of my kids is pale and stocky—looks a fair amount like Wayne Rooney, for better or worse—and virtually every coach he’s played for has expressed surprise that he’s quick, fast, and can jump. No one is ever surprised that my darker-skinned kids are fast. I’m not sure it’s worth worrying about if a coach gives a kid a fair chance to prove himself as a player in the end unless the coach is also making assumptions about the kid’s character or intelligence based on their race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean…it’s sports. It’s a coach. They are evaluating your child’s ability. They size kids up based on build and how they move. His initial assessment was wrong. That’s it.

+1 I’d be happy that the coach recognizes now that your kid has some speed and leave it at that. Too many coaches have biases or assumptions about body types that can lead them to overlook kids’ abilities, and here’s a coach who took some time to focus on what your kid can do. All good.

You must be white. Usually when a coach says something like "you look <something> but your ability is <something>" it's often racially tinged.

I am white, and I am well aware that racial as well as body-type biases come into play all the time with coaches. One of my kids is pale and stocky—looks a fair amount like Wayne Rooney, for better or worse—and virtually every coach he’s played for has expressed surprise that he’s quick, fast, and can jump. No one is ever surprised that my darker-skinned kids are fast. I’m not sure it’s worth worrying about if a coach gives a kid a fair chance to prove himself as a player in the end unless the coach is also making assumptions about the kid’s character or intelligence based on their race.

That's exactly the problem. Some kids have to "prove" themselves and other start off with coaches as already being assumed to be good based due to racial biases about how kids should look. I can see why you're saying it's not worth worrying about because you're white and some of your kids are assumed to be fast so the racial biases work in their favor. Good for you but can you imagine if it was the other way around for your darker skinned kids?

[Anonymous]

OP, you might be reading too much into the coach's comment because you might be "concern" with your child's weight yourself.

I have two boys and we would ALL be really happy to hear from their Soccer coach that our kids are actually faster than what they seem. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean…it’s sports. It’s a coach. They are evaluating your child’s ability. They size kids up based on build and how they move. His initial assessment was wrong. That’s it.

+1 I’d be happy that the coach recognizes now that your kid has some speed and leave it at that. Too many coaches have biases or assumptions about body types that can lead them to overlook kids’ abilities, and here’s a coach who took some time to focus on what your kid can do. All good.

You must be white. Usually when a coach says something like "you look <something> but your ability is <something>" it's often racially tinged.

I am white, and I am well aware that racial as well as body-type biases come into play all the time with coaches. One of my kids is pale and stocky—looks a fair amount like Wayne Rooney, for better or worse—and virtually every coach he’s played for has expressed surprise that he’s quick, fast, and can jump. No one is ever surprised that my darker-skinned kids are fast. I’m not sure it’s worth worrying about if a coach gives a kid a fair chance to prove himself as a player in the end unless the coach is also making assumptions about the kid’s character or intelligence based on their race.

That's exactly the problem. Some kids have to "prove" themselves and other start off with coaches as already being assumed to be good based due to racial biases about how kids should look. I can see why you're saying it's not worth worrying about because you're white and some of your kids are assumed to be fast so the racial biases work in their favor. Good for you but can you imagine if it was the other way around for your darker skinned kids?

Like I said. I don’t need to imagine it. I’ve been around the youth sports world for a long time and my kids and their friends of all races and sizes have had to deal with this with a number of coaches. I’m not saying it’s fair or right, and I don’t know why you are thinking whiteness has anything to do with it. Your kids must play very different sports than mine if the coaches you know equate “white” with either “athletic” or “talented.” My point is only that the coach OP described is one who is actually willing to put aside whatever bias they have and see that her kid has some talent. You can work with a coach like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think it depends on the weight - muscle or no. My son is 5'1" currently and maybe 70 pounds. Just bone and muscle. He is a very fast runner, because he has a runner's build.

100 pounds is definitely on the heavy side, but not if all muscle.

What? My 5' son was just weighed at 88 pounds and he is decidedly on the skinny side. I'm truly having trouble picturing him over 15 pounds lighter. Have you actually had him weighed recently?

[Anonymous]

Yep - totally has something to do with weight

[Anonymous]

Get over it. You’re too sensitive.