How to handle when partner stops planning dates/taking you out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I would do (just like OP I am not too comfortable being super blunt):
- stop planning dates (let alone pay for them!);
- say no to his propositions of couch and movie nights, saying something like “nah, I don’t feel like staying home all night, I am in the mood to go out”. Then I would see how he reacts. Rinse, repeat

+1 why not just decline these Netflix & Chill dates?

I'm a guy from earlier. This would work better I think. Don't need to be so blunt. say exactly the above quote. No more Netflix nights unless he takes you out earlier in the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I would do (just like OP I am not too comfortable being super blunt):
- stop planning dates (let alone pay for them!);
- say no to his propositions of couch and movie nights, saying something like “nah, I don’t feel like staying home all night, I am in the mood to go out”. Then I would see how he reacts. Rinse, repeat

+1 why not just decline these Netflix & Chill dates?

Off topic but I thought Netflix and chill was about the group experience?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I would do (just like OP I am not too comfortable being super blunt):
- stop planning dates (let alone pay for them!);
- say no to his propositions of couch and movie nights, saying something like “nah, I don’t feel like staying home all night, I am in the mood to go out”. Then I would see how he reacts. Rinse, repeat

+1 why not just decline these Netflix & Chill dates?

I'm a guy from earlier. This would work better I think. Don't need to be so blunt. say exactly the above quote. No more Netflix nights unless he takes you out earlier in the week.

Saying this is still blunt imo (I am the one who suggested the two prong strategy above)

[Anonymous]

What about saying to him that you lose attraction or get bored if a guy stops planning activities? Would a guy respond well to that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are dumb and you can’t say it gently because they don’t get it.

“You’ve stopped planning dates and it makes me feel like you don’t care. I plan on going on one date planned by a man each week. I hope that man is you”

He might say, “Fine. Do what you need to do.”

Better to use actions rather than words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are dumb and you can’t say it gently because they don’t get it.

“You’ve stopped planning dates and it makes me feel like you don’t care. I plan on going on one date planned by a man each week. I hope that man is you”

He might say, “Fine. Do what you need to do.”

Better to use actions rather than words.

How would you use actions in this case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are dumb and you can’t say it gently because they don’t get it.

“You’ve stopped planning dates and it makes me feel like you don’t care. I plan on going on one date planned by a man each week. I hope that man is you”

He might say, “Fine. Do what you need to do.”

Better to use actions rather than words.

If he says that then there is no relationship. Being a f-k buddy on a coach is also not a relationship so she looses nothing by saying that . But I as a woman see no point of discussing it. I would just date other guys on prime days and call this guy to come over for sex and ask him to go back to his place after sex instead of watching Netflix together. I have other things to do on my free time and busy. As soon as I find a better suited guy for exclusive sex I would dump the Netflix guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are dumb and you can’t say it gently because they don’t get it.

“You’ve stopped planning dates and it makes me feel like you don’t care. I plan on going on one date planned by a man each week. I hope that man is you”

He might say, “Fine. Do what you need to do.”

Better to use actions rather than words.

How would you use actions in this case?

DP but I posted earlier I'd just make myself way less available unless & until he puts in more effort. Instead of putting all this time, energy, and money into planning dates with him I'd redirect my energies to planning nights out with girlfriends, hobbies that get me out of the house, etc. If this guy sees that OP is a busy person with lots of interesting stuff going on, I bet he steps up his game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are dumb and you can’t say it gently because they don’t get it.

“You’ve stopped planning dates and it makes me feel like you don’t care. I plan on going on one date planned by a man each week. I hope that man is you”

He might say, “Fine. Do what you need to do.”

Better to use actions rather than words.

By all means he should say that if he’s ready to be cut off from the Netflix and chill non-dates with OP.

[Anonymous]

Tell him it's his turn again. Maybe you do a every other date situation so it's not all on either of you.