Who takes kids to the doc? Mom or dad?

[Anonymous]

My hsuband does more of the appointments. I organize our lives and he does “the stuff”. It works for us.

I am the primary earner. He owns his own biz. Our kids have major medical issues and have boatloads of appointments. Regular doctor, developmental pediatrician, neurologist, neurooncologist, etc. the appointment go in and on. Back when my
Kid did 14 minths of chemo, we usually traded off mid day. One went in with her, the other brought lunch and swapped out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My hsuband does more of the appointments. I organize our lives and he does “the stuff”. It works for us.

I am the primary earner. He owns his own biz. Our kids have major medical issues and have boatloads of appointments. Regular doctor, developmental pediatrician, neurologist, neurooncologist, etc. the appointment go in and on. Back when my
Kid did 14 minths of chemo, we usually traded off mid day. One went in with her, the other brought lunch and swapped out.

Same poster. Let me add that when we first got our kids terrible diagnoses, we definitely both went to the big appointments. But we were deciding stuff like dates to have brain surgery and when to start chemo. Or how to handle the other kids profound intellectual disability. Once you are dealing with that, you definitely no longer care much about the strep throat appointment. In fact, our nanny did most of the “normal” appointments during the years where we had so many other things happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does no one else do joint visits? Dh is very over protective and has lots of dumb questions to ask the pediatrician. So he comes with and peppers them with questions. I really like going as well.

No, that's a waste of time. We jointly make a list of questions to ask the doctor and then do a "debrief" after the appointment to discuss the answers and if there are next steps for anything, discuss the options.

[Anonymous]

It’s been always me (his mother)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know something like this has been posted before but do you split taking your kids to the doc if things come up or do you mostly take them (mom) ?

Up until recently I have 100% been taking the kids to the doctor. It’s not that DH can not but it’s just always naturally fell on to my shoulders. Now I’m starting to question this!!

So do you take them or your DH? Is it split?

Tit for tat questions like this are immature and will lead to resentment and divorce. You need to learn how to be a family unit, OP. Being equal partners is NOT about splitting every. little. thing.

Your children need you to model healthy behavior with your spouse.

[Anonymous]

I'm the mom and I do 95% of these. Occasionally, I send DH to a sick visit, esp when DD's earring caused and infection and she wouldn't let me anywhere near it. (She was 12, so not super young.)

Sometimes a kid is sick-ish on the weekend and DH says something like "He really needs a strep test." I've been known to tell him to find an urgent care and make an appointment!

[Anonymous]

DH and I both attend the yearly well visits (we don't think it's a waste of time, since usually we both hear things the other missed). There was a period of time when DC was having some health issues and we would both go to all medical appointments together also. Usually I just take DC for sick visits and for shots. I make appointments with the regular doctor but my H schedules specialist appointments. This plan has worked out well for us so far.

[Anonymous]

Both, but mostly DH. I do almost all of the scheduling.

Interestingly, the last time DH took the kids to the dentist, he said the dentist asked him how he got stuck with taking the kids there instead of me. DH gave him a look and replied that since I had taken them to swim practice that morning, he was bringing them there.

[Anonymous]

^^we did joint visits when they were newborns, but rarely do anymore, at least not for routine visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both attend the yearly well visits (we don't think it's a waste of time, since usually we both hear things the other missed). There was a period of time when DC was having some health issues and we would both go to all medical appointments together also. Usually I just take DC for sick visits and for shots. I make appointments with the regular doctor but my H schedules specialist appointments. This plan has worked out well for us so far.

Wow, it’s a little concerning that neither you nor your DH are capable of independently taking in the pertinent details from a 10 minute well visit.

[Anonymous]

I wanted it to be 50/50, but when (now ex) H had to, he never made the appointments or took them. So I took over.

He literally thinks things like doctors appointments don’t matter, that kids don’t grow up and think “wow, my parents took me to doctors appointments, they’re great and I love them!” Nope, he thinks only the fun stuff matters.

[Anonymous]

My DH’s job is demanding and mine is flexible so I take care of most of the doctor/dental and vet visits, although during the r pandemic he did virtual consults with the pediatrician when something came up if I had a conflict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both attend the yearly well visits (we don't think it's a waste of time, since usually we both hear things the other missed). There was a period of time when DC was having some health issues and we would both go to all medical appointments together also. Usually I just take DC for sick visits and for shots. I make appointments with the regular doctor but my H schedules specialist appointments. This plan has worked out well for us so far.

Wow, it’s a little concerning that neither you nor your DH are capable of independently taking in the pertinent details from a 10 minute well visit.

It's not at all! I'm sorry that your well visits are only 10 minutes...ours are much longer and thorough and helpful, and some of that time is following up on the previous health issues. We both want to go, it works for us, so not sure why you have to put us down because of that? Not everyone has to do everything exactly the same, as this thread has shown.