Biracial Jew looking for synagogue

[Anonymous]

Temple B’nai Shalom (Reform) - Fairfax Station

[Anonymous]

It would be far for you, but I highly recommend Temple Shalom in Chevy Chase on EW highway. We have a number of members who identify as Jews as Color. And our Rabbi is very committed to doing a deeper dive into what being an anti-racist congregation looks like. She isn't content with saying, oh look how diverse we are and assuming that our members of color are comfortable and not experiencing discrimintation or microaggressions even within our own community. Her whole sermon two years ago during Yom Kippur was about this very topic and it launched a multi-year journey (that is still going on) about what it would truly mean to not only be welcoming to Jews of Color but also actively anti-racist in our own community and in the larger jewish community. We are by no means perfect, and it is possible that if you are Conservative that our Reform services wouldn't resonate, but please do come for a Shabbat and check us out. Let the office know you are coming so someone can be there to welcome you...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad that you must ask where you would be welcome.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad that you must ask where you would be welcome.

+1

Please. Religious institutions whether Jewish or Christian or anything are the most segregated spaces in America. It shouldn’t be this way, but your faux concern reads as BS.

[Anonymous]

Adat Shalom Reconstructionist synagogue in Bethesda

[Anonymous]

I am saddened that OP even thought it to be relevant to mention that he was born Jewish or that his mother was also

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad that you must ask where you would be welcome.

+1

Please. Religious institutions whether Jewish or Christian or anything are the most segregated spaces in America. It shouldn’t be this way, but your faux concern reads as BS.

Faux concern? Wow. OP has a very real concern and another Jewish PP of color explained her lived experiences as a not traditional Ashkenazi presenting Jew, and your response to the thread is to call this BS? Why bother opening the thread if this is what you have to add?

OP, I am not Jewish so I have no advice to add, but I am a WOC and understand how it feels to be othered and unwelcome in certain spaces. I am sorry you and your child are struggling to find community and I hope that you are able to find a welcoming Jewish community to be a part of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the recommendations! I’m conservative but open to a reform shul.

Just to clarify. I’m Jewish through my mother. But kudos to the poster who commented on Ashenormativity being a thing. It seems to be much more prevalent here than where I grew up and it’s not like people see my Jewishness like the see my blackness. I have my mother’s stereotypical Jewish last name and I have honestly been aghast at some of the bizarre comments I have received at Jewish events about why a single black woman might have a Jewish last name or an Israeli Hebrew middle name.

Also, the type of people who would suggest that I find a group of Ethiopian Jews and call it a day because I’m black, are exactly the type of people I would like to steer clear of. I really hope that poster isn’t Jewish.

My adopted child is not Jewish but would like to convert. I’m quite dark compared to most black/white biracial Americans. I’ve felt very lost since moving here. I won’t go into details but I’m truly shocked. I’m will say most of our bad experiences were in MD but we on the VA side now and plan to stay.

Please keep any recommendations coming. I’m also wondering about the J in Annandale, can anyone comment of the climate there?

OP, I'm wondering if some of the bad experiences you are having are also tied to your status as a single parent? Are you having difficulty with other women in the communities you've tried to join, or are the difficulties from both men and women and overtly racial?

I have not noticed a difference between men vs women or mothers vs others. I also recognize that it is unusual for someone like me to have a very Jewish last name as I’m quite dark. I’d say my coloring is similar to Malia Obama but my hair is not nearly as curly. I’m not really too bothered by people being surprised because it is ot typical. Most people who don’t know me assume that I’m married to someone Jewish and it really doesn’t bother me. I’m not bothered by little things like that.

What I do have an issue with is getting locked out of rooms or buildings my child is in because people thinking I’m lying or I’m angry Nanny. TBH I just have had so many bad experiences that I’m very weary now. Last week my child asked me if we should try to find a new religion and both get baptized since “Jews here don’t like us” and then he apologized for not being Jewish to me. He seems to think this is happening because his adoption made me less Jewish. Thank g-d he doesn’t understand that it’s about how we look.

OP, I'm sorry about this happening to you. I believe you, and it sounds awful. I hope somewhere in this collection of suggestions you find somewhere welcoming that feels like home.

[Anonymous]

I'm at Beth El Hebrew congregation in Alexandria and I think you would feel welcome here, and you would not be the only Jews of color in the congregation. It is reform though, not conservative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad that you must ask where you would be welcome.

+1

Please. Religious institutions whether Jewish or Christian or anything are the most segregated spaces in America. It shouldn’t be this way, but your faux concern reads as BS.

Faux concern? Wow. OP has a very real concern and another Jewish PP of color explained her lived experiences as a not traditional Ashkenazi presenting Jew, and your response to the thread is to call this BS? Why bother opening the thread if this is what you have to add?

OP, I am not Jewish so I have no advice to add, but I am a WOC and understand how it feels to be othered and unwelcome in certain spaces. I am sorry you and your child are struggling to find community and I hope that you are able to find a welcoming Jewish community to be a part of.

You totally missed my point. Of course she should find a welcoming congregation, where she does not feel othered.

I just find it gross that a bunch of non-Jews are writing "so sad" as if churches are not also totally segregated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad that you must ask where you would be welcome.

+1

Please. Religious institutions whether Jewish or Christian or anything are the most segregated spaces in America. It shouldn’t be this way, but your faux concern reads as BS.

Faux concern? Wow. OP has a very real concern and another Jewish PP of color explained her lived experiences as a not traditional Ashkenazi presenting Jew, and your response to the thread is to call this BS? Why bother opening the thread if this is what you have to add?

OP, I am not Jewish so I have no advice to add, but I am a WOC and understand how it feels to be othered and unwelcome in certain spaces. I am sorry you and your child are struggling to find community and I hope that you are able to find a welcoming Jewish community to be a part of.

How do you know it’s non-Jews?

You totally missed my point. Of course she should find a welcoming congregation, where she does not feel othered.

I just find it gross that a bunch of non-Jews are writing "so sad" as if churches are not also totally segregated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very sad that you must ask where you would be welcome.

+1

Please. Religious institutions whether Jewish or Christian or anything are the most segregated spaces in America. It shouldn’t be this way, but your faux concern reads as BS.

Faux concern? Wow. OP has a very real concern and another Jewish PP of color explained her lived experiences as a not traditional Ashkenazi presenting Jew, and your response to the thread is to call this BS? Why bother opening the thread if this is what you have to add?

OP, I am not Jewish so I have no advice to add, but I am a WOC and understand how it feels to be othered and unwelcome in certain spaces. I am sorry you and your child are struggling to find community and I hope that you are able to find a welcoming Jewish community to be a part of.

You totally missed my point. Of course she should find a welcoming congregation, where she does not feel othered.

I just find it gross that a bunch of non-Jews are writing "so sad" as if churches are not also totally segregated.

It’s probably women of color of any faith or none.

[Anonymous]

Congregation Etz Hayim in Arlington. Its a small, conservative synagogue which is very welcoming to all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would be very welcome at Beth Chai, which is a humanist Jewish congregation: https://www.bethchai.org/

Beth Chai -- I wouldn't call it a synagogue. They don't teach kids to read Hebrew, read from the Torah, Haftorah, etc. Kids write a report for their Bar Mitzvah. They don't say any prayers or read from the Torah and are taught to pooh pooh learning to read the Torah in Hebrew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would be very welcome at Beth Chai, which is a humanist Jewish congregation: https://www.bethchai.org/

Beth Chai -- I wouldn't call it a synagogue. They don't teach kids to read Hebrew, read from the Torah, Haftorah, etc. Kids write a report for their Bar Mitzvah. They don't say any prayers or read from the Torah and are taught to pooh pooh learning to read the Torah in Hebrew.

Looks like they meet at the Unitarian Church on River Road.