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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all the recommendations! I’m conservative but open to a reform shul.

Just to clarify. I’m Jewish through my mother. But kudos to the poster who commented on Ashenormativity being a thing. It  seems to be much more prevalent here than where I grew up and it’s not like people see my Jewishness like the see my blackness. I have my mother’s stereotypical Jewish last name and I have honestly been aghast at some of the bizarre comments I have received at Jewish events about why a single black woman might have a Jewish last name or an Israeli Hebrew middle name.

Also, the type of people who would suggest that I find a group of Ethiopian Jews and call it a day because I’m black, are exactly the type of people I would like to steer clear of. I really hope that poster isn’t Jewish.

My adopted child is not Jewish but would like to convert. I’m quite dark compared to most black/white biracial Americans. I’ve felt very lost since moving here. I won’t go into details but I’m truly shocked. I’m will say most of our bad experiences were in MD but we on the VA side now and plan to stay.

Please keep any recommendations coming. I’m also wondering about the J in Annandale, can anyone comment of the climate there?

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OP, I'm wondering if some of the bad experiences you are having are also tied to your status as a single parent? Are you having difficulty with other women in the communities you've tried to join, or are the difficulties from both men and women and overtly racial? [/quote]

I have not noticed a difference between men vs women or mothers vs others. I also recognize that it is unusual for someone like me to have a very Jewish last name as I’m quite dark. I’d say my coloring is similar to Malia Obama but my hair is not nearly as curly. I’m not really too bothered by people being surprised because it is ot typical. Most people who don’t know me assume that I’m married to someone Jewish and it really doesn’t bother me. I’m not bothered by little things like that.

What I do have an issue with is getting locked out of rooms or buildings my child is in because people thinking I’m lying or I’m angry Nanny. TBH I just have had so many bad experiences that I’m very weary now. Last week my child asked me if we should try to find a new religion and  both get baptized since “Jews here don’t like us” and then he apologized for not being Jewish to me. He seems to think this is happening because his adoption made me less Jewish. Thank g-d he doesn’t understand that it’s about how we look.  [/quote]

OP, I'm sorry about this happening to you. I believe you, and it sounds awful. I hope somewhere in this collection of suggestions you find somewhere welcoming that feels like home. [/quote]

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