What toys, adventures, sports do you regret not giving your child?

[Anonymous]

I regret not managing my DC’s athletic career better. I am in athletic, never really did anything and had no clue what to do really. Picked the wrong Coach, stuck with her for too long, started late, didn’t get serious soon enough. Lots of regrets. DD knows the sport well and has big plans for her future daughter. She will do a great job pushing this child to greatness. I hope the future kid will cooperate, if not, I feel very sorry for her. )

[Anonymous]

I wish I had given my kids more freedom when they were young. I was overly anxious, and didn't let them walk to school or take the public bus until years after their friends did. When they went off to college, they seemed timid. They come home on the weekends a lot more than I'd like (even though I love seeing them). One of mine still doesn't have a drivers license.

[Anonymous]

Going to more theater. Just couldn't afford it at the time. Now it's the opposite but that time has passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret not managing my DC’s athletic career better. I am in athletic, never really did anything and had no clue what to do really. Picked the wrong Coach, stuck with her for too long, started late, didn’t get serious soon enough. Lots of regrets. DD knows the sport well and has big plans for her future daughter. She will do a great job pushing this child to greatness. I hope the future kid will cooperate, if not, I feel very sorry for her. )

Yikes. This is a little scary. I think you’re being way too hard on yourself. Maybe unless your kid was so good that she might have made the Olympics or played pro had you done everything “better”. But maybe not, even then.

As for your DD having “plans” for her future daughter … umm, WTF?! Seriously. Does she not understand that her child would be an actual person, separate from her, not an extension of her or a carbon copy of her younger self?

Not kidding. It sounds like your DD should consider therapy before having kids. Otherwise, she’s setting everyone up for a tough road.

It’s not a child’s job to live out her parent’s missed dreams. It’s a child’s job to discover and live out HER own dreams!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I'd tried to find time for more quiet, slow things to do together. I wish we'd tried growing plants and drawing together and doing little projects where I didn't really care about the outcome.

As the parent of teens, I think this is the most helpful post of the bunch. And the sweetest, too. Thank you for sharing it.

(About the trampoline - I think OP’s expressing a regret about not finding a way to foster more connections/together time for her kids. That’s what the trampoline REPRESENTS to her when she sees her neighbor’s kids playing together. So all the trampoline talk has me thinking about that, too. What can I do to foster connection or a shared activity my two teens would enjoy together?)

Thanks everyone!

[Anonymous]

board games, family hike, amusement park, family bike ride to get ice cream, bagels, lunch etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:board games, family hike, amusement park, family bike ride to get ice cream, bagels, lunch etc

We did that stuff. Also had very limited vacations. I wish we could have afforded to take them skiing a few times a year- we never took them at all. Makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

I wish I gave him a dad who was better at teaching him things and doing things together. He isn’t horrible but does the bare minimum.
I wish I could hold him back a year for school
I wish I enrolled him in Spanish immersion which had a very short waitlist instead of striving for a lottery school that was hard to get into
I probably digress but I hope it’s ok

[Anonymous]

A dog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret not managing my DC’s athletic career better. I am in athletic, never really did anything and had no clue what to do really. Picked the wrong Coach, stuck with her for too long, started late, didn’t get serious soon enough. Lots of regrets. DD knows the sport well and has big plans for her future daughter. She will do a great job pushing this child to greatness. I hope the future kid will cooperate, if not, I feel very sorry for her. )

What does started late even mean? Which sport? What age?

[Anonymous]

I wish I'd had them learn to ice skate. I feel like that's one that is really hard to learn as an adult. Would have been easier to learn when they were young. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Biggest regret- I wish I could have afforded more summer camps for my oldest and especially a sleep away one. I just didn't have the money then and couldn't afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I'd had them learn to ice skate. I feel like that's one that is really hard to learn as an adult. Would have been easier to learn when they were young. Oh well.

I learned when I was a child, got pretty good, and then forgot.

Most of these things aren't like riding a bike. Use it or lose it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am looking at a bare spot in our yard where I should have put a trampoline for my kids. They begged for one, but I was always afraid that someone would get hurt. I also selfishly thought that it would ruin my garden. My neighbors have them and their kids are always out there bouncing around, laughing away. It seems almost therapeutic for them after school.
I also wish that I had put my son in organized sports earlier. He was not a natural, and earlier involvement in everything from skiing, to soccer would have been helpful.
I can't reel back time, but I can share this with those who have younger kids.

I had a writing class assignment in law school for injuries a kid sustained on a trampoline. Had never realized what an utterly horrible idea they were until then. No one should have trampolines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and The American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons advise against trampolines. Nets only help with injuries from falling off.

We've been very lucky with ours - no injuries in over a dozen years. We are very firm about only letting one kid jump at a time and making sure the tramp is tight.