What toys, adventures, sports do you regret not giving your child?

[Anonymous]

I am doing the best I can, based on the knowledge I have. If I look back, I would change a few things: start DD on her chosen sport earlier, in an organized way, with tons of lessons (but did I know she’d love it so much?), I would have switched from a bad coach sooner. Other DD: I wouldn’t have let her quit riding as she picked it up a few years later again. But it’s not a big deal. In general, I think I did one thing right: I let them try out everything: every possible sport I could imagine, piano, art, chorus/singing, acting. They stuck with 2 activities each and they chose for themselves. The trial and error phase just lasted long.

[Anonymous]

I would never get a trampoline nor a pool--both are legal liabilities that I am not willing to take on. Get a swing set--mine spent a lot of time on theirs.

I wish I would have spent more time to get DS2 to ride a bike earlier. But he eventually got it and is fine now.

Neither of my kids are great at tying their shoes and I want to teach them cursive since they don't learn that in school. So those are skills that I need to work on.

I can't think of one toy that they want that they don't have--the grandparents are a bit nuts that way. My kids would tell you that not having a dog or other pet has been the one thing they were denied (DH is allergic to cats/dogs and I have no desire to have anything else). Hoping that having a fish will be good enough.

[Anonymous]

I refuse to do a trampoline and am fine with it. We know two kids who broke bones that way, so it’s far from theoretical.

Glad I gave them: swim and downhill skiing. Great lifelong sports that can be hard to pick up later

[Anonymous]

I wish I'd tried to find time for more quiet, slow things to do together. I wish we'd tried growing plants and drawing together and doing little projects where I didn't really care about the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't feel bad about the trampoline, OP. They are extremely dangerous and a liability to have, and they are really unsightly too. You had very good reasons not to buy one. Your kids can use them at friends' houses.

I kind of regret not letting my son do Boy Scouts, but only kind of. I know this won't be a popular opinion but my husband and I dislike the BSA organization (the hypocrisy of refusing to allow gay kids/leaders because it wasn't "morally straight," but meanwhile kids were being molested for decades by "morally straight" adults and it was covered up). I know they have cleaned up their act in recent years but we still don't trust them for safety or want to support them. They also expected a huge time commitment from families, which we didn't want to invest. But I know my son would have loved it, he is outdoorsy and athletic, and he's definitely given me guilt trips about it, especially now that he's older and sees his scout friends going on these cool trips. Maybe I should have just held my nose and sucked it up.

Trampolines are "extremely dangerous" but ok to use at a friend's house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had managed to take my kids on more trips and outdoor adventures when they were younger. We did do a lot, but that’s what I love, and what I was really eager to share with my children, but now my young teen both is less enthusiastic and has commitments to activities that make it hard to go away as much as I would like (and soon enough he’ll have summer jobs too). We did the best we could though given we had more limited funds and vacation days when they were younger,

I also wish I had taken my kids on more trips. 3 of us enjoy the outdoors and one kid hated it. Dh worked all the time and I got so tired of trying to manage the grumpy kid that by a certain age I gave up on doing trips with just the three of us while dh worked. It made summers depressing.

[Anonymous]

Martial arts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am looking at a bare spot in our yard where I should have put a trampoline for my kids. They begged for one, but I was always afraid that someone would get hurt. I also selfishly thought that it would ruin my garden. My neighbors have them and their kids are always out there bouncing around, laughing away. It seems almost therapeutic for them after school.
I also wish that I had put my son in organized sports earlier. He was not a natural, and earlier involvement in everything from skiing, to soccer would have been helpful.
I can't reel back time, but I can share this with those who have younger kids.

Its not just you against large trampoline but all pediatricians and ER docs as well. As far as pushing someone towards sport, if they aren't, can be wrong too. Not everyone cares about sports or arts or science and its okay. Kids doesn't come with manuals and parents just improvise. Parenting is more about loving and providing than being flawless. Go easy on yourself.

[Anonymous]

As long as they learn value of being active and healthy, they'll be fine. Not everyone has to be an athlete or singer or mathematician. You can do life well without being jack of all trades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am looking at a bare spot in our yard where I should have put a trampoline for my kids. They begged for one, but I was always afraid that someone would get hurt. I also selfishly thought that it would ruin my garden. My neighbors have them and their kids are always out there bouncing around, laughing away. It seems almost therapeutic for them after school.
I also wish that I had put my son in organized sports earlier. He was not a natural, and earlier involvement in everything from skiing, to soccer would have been helpful.
I can't reel back time, but I can share this with those who have younger kids.

I have a friend who had to rush his DD to the ER with breaks after falling off a trampoline. With the sports - not everyone always fits into an American "ideal" and you should not feel like you have to fit into anyone else's way of living or have your kids do so. It doesn't make their lives easier.

[Anonymous]

I wish I'd had a crystal ball and known what suburb we would live in so that I could have gotten on a pool waitlist in time. As it is, I got on the wrong waitlists early given where we ended up living and now my kids won't get off the waitlists for the pools near us until my kids are in high school or college (we moved to the burbs when they were 9). It's a bummer because my kids do winter swim but not summer swim team. The one thing I hate about this area is the pool system.

[Anonymous]

Music lessons. I feel like piano is something one could enjoy for their entire life on a multitude of levels. As for sports, I feel like tennis is the most lifelong, financially accessible, enjoyable sport.

My kids wish we had had a dog but I know logistically and financially that was not something we could have done when they were small.

I also very much wish we had traveled more. But again, finances were the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't feel bad about the trampoline, OP. They are extremely dangerous and a liability to have, and they are really unsightly too. You had very good reasons not to buy one. Your kids can use them at friends' houses.

I kind of regret not letting my son do Boy Scouts, but only kind of. I know this won't be a popular opinion but my husband and I dislike the BSA organization (the hypocrisy of refusing to allow gay kids/leaders because it wasn't "morally straight," but meanwhile kids were being molested for decades by "morally straight" adults and it was covered up). I know they have cleaned up their act in recent years but we still don't trust them for safety or want to support them. They also expected a huge time commitment from families, which we didn't want to invest. But I know my son would have loved it, he is outdoorsy and athletic, and he's definitely given me guilt trips about it, especially now that he's older and sees his scout friends going on these cool trips. Maybe I should have just held my nose and sucked it up.

Sounds like you found a fake moral excuse to let yourself off the hook for putting time and effort into hour child's interest. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Music lessons. I feel like piano is something one could enjoy for their entire life on a multitude of levels. As for sports, I feel like tennis is the most lifelong, financially accessible, enjoyable sport.

My kids wish we had had a dog but I know logistically and financially that was not something we could have done when they were small.

I also very much wish we had traveled more. But again, finances were the issue.

100% in agreement with music and tennis.

When I was young, my parents took me to music lessons, piano and guitar. They also made me take both golf and tennis lessons for almost thirteen years. They gave up a lot for me and my sister. By the time I got to college, the piano and guitar lessons really paid off. I got so many dates in college because of it. After graduation, I got to team up with the company CEO at the company golf outing. I am now making a very good living because of golf and marrying an unbelievable wife because of my music skill. It works out well for me.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom (little kid) but from the child's perspective, I wish my parents had traveled with us. We could afford it (especially domestic trips, national parks, etc. -- not luxury hotels in Paris) but they are homebodies and not outdoorsy or adventurous. I wish my parents had encouraged me to study abroad. I had a controlling boyfriend in college who whined about it so I never did it. I travel a lot now but I wish I had had more opportunities throughout my childhood/teen years. As far as activities, I was not a good ball sport/team sport athlete, but I wish my parents had encouraged unusual and unconventional sports like archery, etc. I am very athletic, just not in a soccer or baseball sense.

Overall I had a happy, positive childhood so I would never say this to my parents, but if any parents here are looking for perspectives, here you go.

Separately, but somewhat related, I also wish my mom had done stuff -- anything -- for herself and for her marriage; I have lasting hangups about parenthood because she was such a martyr.