Year-long move to LA: What to do with 20 and 22 y.o.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re old enough to get an apartment. Your house stopped being their house at 18.

+1 cut the cord

Pretty much this. Your sons are old enough to get jobs/summer internships. Enjoy your adventure on the west coast, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you leave it empty, you'll get mice. 100%

Really? Why/how??

They sense movement and if the house is empty they will gnaw an entry point.
My parents lived in the same house for 20 years. The one year they went and lived somewhere else for 6 months temporarily and left their place empty, they came home to find mice had worked their way in. Never in the almost 20 years prior had they had this problem.
It's a known fact.

[Anonymous]

What do your sons want to do, OP? Include them in the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re old enough to get an apartment. Your house stopped being their house at 18.

How sad. My home is their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thank you for the insightful responses. Since the sudden death of my ex when they were younger, I often feel immense guilt re: big decisions that could impact them emotionally. All of my decisions have been in direct alignment with what is best for them; I would like to take advantage of the opportunity, but I don't want them to feel another sudden abandonment/upheaval.

I will discuss it with my therapist but greatly appreciate the outside perspectives.

You're a good person and a good parent.

[Anonymous]

OP, think of it this way. They need to feel your confidence in them. Worrying about them, that they can't handle something, projecting that you do not have this confidence. At least try to reframe your thinking and everyone will benefit.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP, you are a good person and a good parent. Add to this, and your sons know that. So first, relax a little about this! You really can't go wrong.

Except--in one way--leaving the house vacant. I inherited my dad's little house in a city 2.5 hours drive away from me. I can tell you now, don't leave the house vacant. It's a free-standing house! and all it takes is for the local pizza guy to leave a door hanger advertisement on the door knob for a couple days for people driving by to figure it out. Or, in that town, periodically the newspaper would have a special edition, and for that, they would blanket everyone on the block, not just newspaper subscribers. Nothing like a yellowed newspaper in the driveway to give you away.

I ended up renting it out. You can always try it for a year or build that into the contract. Honestly, since you are going so far away, I'd pay for a company to manage the rental. Consider it an investment so you don't get that 3am plumbing wake-up call.

Anyways, years before the inheritance, I had bought a small condo near that house. The condo--I leave empty. It's easy.

We're near retirement age, and DH wants to do a snowbird situation, and he totally doesn't get this concept--he wants two free-standing houses. No way.

[Anonymous]

They are adults so ask them what they would like to do with you being in Seattle. If their ideas make sense that will help you determine whether or not you rent out your house.