My embarrassing trigger with my kid, any suggestions

[Anonymous]

Agree, deer park. Refrigerate it before he leaves. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

OP I like the expensive water bottles too. Can’t name the brand off the top of my head but after trying so many and finding ones I like i get it. I make her take the nice one to camp where it’s outdoors or places where I think it feels better to have cold water. I let her use the cheap ones for other things where the temp doesn’t matter as much. Is his name on them? How is he losing so many? DD is 10 and only ever lost one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sincerely. Does he need cold water? Or just water.

Seriously. We used to drink warm water out of the hose. Your kid will survive with room temperature water from a cheap water bottle.

[Anonymous]

My husband has severe ADHD. He is 60. He’s lived all over the world and has left a trail of umbrellas, hats, watches, agendas, pens, wallets, keys, papers behind him. All over the world. Literally. He truly does not WANT to lose his things. I can promise you that your son does not WANT to lose his water bottle and subsequently disappoint you.

For the love of all that is holy, send that child with a bottle of Deer Park!!!

[Anonymous]

Send 2 + bottled water (the disposable kind), 1 + frozen from freezer and 1 from fridge, with your child’s name on in permanent marker, should be able to last through the day.

[Anonymous]

Op here thanks for the advice. Context of cold water- he’s in camp all day, mostly outside. It’s really hot. If I send a deer park or cheap bottle the water is beyond warm. I tried the freezing trick but it doesn’t work for bottles left outside in 90 degrees daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here thanks for the advice. Context of cold water- he’s in camp all day, mostly outside. It’s really hot. If I send a deer park or cheap bottle the water is beyond warm. I tried the freezing trick but it doesn’t work for bottles left outside in 90 degrees daily.

Warm water is still water and will hydrate him.

[Anonymous]

Okay so now it's time for you to work with him to remember. Think of a cute little song or poem, a la Daniel Tiger. "Before we leave the playground, don't forget to look around! What do I need???? My water bottle!" Practice that when you're with him. Instead of you just grabbing his stuff so it comes home, make him be responsible for it, even if you're there. My adhd kid doesn't lose things left and right because when he started that we worked hard with him to think before he leaves a place.

And while cold water feels better, warm water is just as hydrating. He won't perish with warm bottled water.

[Anonymous]

You realize that this is a you issue not a him issue. Almost all triggers we experience as parents are due to our OWN issues. You need to resolve it, not him. He is 7. He is going to lose things. You can sing all the songs you want and be neurotic about reminding him over and over but its a water bottle. Work on improving his memory skills and having him stop before he leaves a location and check that he has everything he brought. In the meantime, dont send expensive water bottles you are going to get mad about if he loses. WTF.

You are the only person you can control AND you are the parent- do not set traps for your children out of your own unwillingness to adapt.

[Anonymous]

A few things that could work:

-Buy cheaper stuff. I see a lot of little kids with high-end backpacking gear-style water bottles. They really do not need these.

-Natural consequences. Kid loses something; OK, that's fine, but you don't replace it. This one is tricky because sometimes the "thing" will be required for school, etc.

-Organize your home and kid's room so that there is always a designated place for everything. Have him/her check his bag before leaving the house to make sure the essentials are in it. Lay things out the night before and have him help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Losing stuff, in particular water bottles, is a trigger for me. It has caused countless bad feelings between me and my seven-year-old. The thing is, the particular bottles that I like, which are metal, effective at keeping things hot or cold, and are leak proof with an attached lid and easy to clean, well- they are expensive. Problem is that I rely on them for everything. Swimming pool, beach, vacations. There are many times where he goes with friends or family to the pool or beach etc. and I need to send cold water and I sent it in the bottle. If I personally am not there, a bottle gets lost. They are so expensive to replace. I’m tired of having fights about it and both of us feeling bad. Any suggestions?

What kind of water bottle is it? We like the thermos funtainers but they leak. I’m looking for another option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here thanks for the advice. Context of cold water- he’s in camp all day, mostly outside. It’s really hot. If I send a deer park or cheap bottle the water is beyond warm. I tried the freezing trick but it doesn’t work for bottles left outside in 90 degrees daily.

Warm water is still water and will hydrate him.

+1. The temperature is really just about preference. OP, you realize that for even ice as a thing wasn't available year round until relatively recently in history? And people did serious work outside? Ice is not a prerequisite for hydration. And kids shouldn't care so much, honestly. Add some flavor powder if hot water is less appealing and thus you're worried he won't drink. But seriously, the embarrassing part about this is that you insist that your son must have ice cold water on a hot day, not that you're triggered by his losing things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here thanks for the advice. Context of cold water- he’s in camp all day, mostly outside. It’s really hot. If I send a deer park or cheap bottle the water is beyond warm. I tried the freezing trick but it doesn’t work for bottles left outside in 90 degrees daily.

This is the very definition of natural consequences. He will either learn to keep track of his things, or he will leave to drink hot water. He will live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here thanks for the advice. Context of cold water- he’s in camp all day, mostly outside. It’s really hot. If I send a deer park or cheap bottle the water is beyond warm. I tried the freezing trick but it doesn’t work for bottles left outside in 90 degrees daily.

Why can't you, when you arrive for pick up, double check he has the water bottle? If not, help him reyrace his steps or ask the counselor. If yes, then great.

[Anonymous]

Air Tag or similar