experience with intense sports? not sure if we should go there...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was a swimmer invited to an elite group when he was going into 7th grader. It was a hard decision in our family, because we both work FT and we had other non-swimming children. My spouse and I are not athletes, so we don't get it. We thought about it for a week or so and it was good for this child . They have excellent time management skills and are an excellent student, and are currently swimming at s D3 UAA school studying E.Engineering. Club swimming at a high level is very stressful and expensive for families and it is ok to say no. Think hard, along the way- we woke up a 4am to get them to practice, had to carpool with children/families I didn't care for, had some inappropriate coaches, and met some very intense/crazy parents. I learned quickly, not everyone wants your child to succeed. If you say yes, find a carpool, offer to time at meets (so you don't have to sit in the stands to hear the gossip) and make sure your child is being treated appropriately. High standards are great, coaches texting your minor child after hours about other swimmers, not so great.

Current parent of a 13/14 swimmer at one of the faster clubs: Every word of this post is true!

[Anonymous]

My rising 8th grader moved up from a regular travel league to one with additional practices and away games that are out of state/often with a hotel stay. I notice my kid often gets nostalgic about the rec days when the sport was “fun”. I do think that playing a sport at a more intense level means it often isn’t fun. It’s hard work, every game is a grind and sometimes you lose and have a 5 hr drive home. Sometimes your body is sore and you don’t want to practice. Or you don’t want to be out of town all weekend and miss fun stuff with your non-team friends.
We take it one season at a time. We don’t talk about playing in college. We tell our kid to finish out the season then decide to take a break, try something else, heck - go back to a rec team. I learned that for my kid at least, it was ok to skip practice once in a while or miss a game cause a weekend off is really needed. We ease up where we can and if it means he doesn’t start or spends more time on the bench so be it. I’m impressed with the kids in any intense sport who are super passionate and goal directed - especially in the middle school age group. That’s not my kid’s personality. OP my advice is to try your kid’s intense sport for a season and see how your DC likes it. If it’s too much, move down a level, or try a new thing. And reserve the right to make the call on behalf of your family that the intense level is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rising 8th grader moved up from a regular travel league to one with additional practices and away games that are out of state/often with a hotel stay. I notice my kid often gets nostalgic about the rec days when the sport was “fun”. I do think that playing a sport at a more intense level means it often isn’t fun. It’s hard work, every game is a grind and sometimes you lose and have a 5 hr drive home. Sometimes your body is sore and you don’t want to practice. Or you don’t want to be out of town all weekend and miss fun stuff with your non-team friends.
We take it one season at a time. We don’t talk about playing in college. We tell our kid to finish out the season then decide to take a break, try something else, heck - go back to a rec team. I learned that for my kid at least, it was ok to skip practice once in a while or miss a game cause a weekend off is really needed. We ease up where we can and if it means he doesn’t start or spends more time on the bench so be it. I’m impressed with the kids in any intense sport who are super passionate and goal directed - especially in the middle school age group. That’s not my kid’s personality. OP my advice is to try your kid’s intense sport for a season and see how your DC likes it. If it’s too much, move down a level, or try a new thing. And reserve the right to make the call on behalf of your family that the intense level is too much.

this is correct!