experience with intense sports? not sure if we should go there...

[Anonymous]

My rising eight grader got invited to a highly competitive sports program (2+ hours practices 5 to 6 days a week and many weekends of competition). We never really anticipated going this path and are trying to decide if we should go down it. I would love to hear from others whose kids faced a similar choice and how it played out over time. Did your kids rise to the challenge and really blossom? Burn out and/or miss out on other opportunities/experiences in life? In general, youth sports in this area are more intense than my liking, and am kind of surprised we're even considering this (DH is more gung-ho).

Kid likes the sport, clearly has the potential to excel at it (based on current skill and body type), and participation has been a very positive experience so far, albeit at lower levels. School comes relatively easy to them, so I don't see the level of commitment impacting academics. Right now, they say they are leaning towards wanting to do it, though with some hesitations. I can imagine them growing to love this sport and it become a big part of their identity into high school and possibly even college.

But - if given the opportunity, they would rather invest all that effort in a different sport, one they are admit they are unlikely to achieve the same level of success in that one and for which they currently don't have opportunities to participate in at a high level. I can only imagine that their participation will also negatively impact our family life, ability to travel, relax, etc. - and my kid's ability just to be a kid and try different activities. They currently have broad interests, including several sports and other extracurriculars, plus a pretty active social life.

Anyone who has BTDT care to share your experiences?

[Anonymous]

I think the sport matters. Can you share?

[Anonymous]

It kind of sounds like swimming to me.

I have a female basketball player and by the end of high school she kind of hated it but had really dropped everything else to play at a high level (top travel team). She did use it as a hook to get into college (low acceptance rate D3). She only played in college 1 year. So I don't know what to say about whether we would do it all again. She wouldn't have gotten into her college without it.

I do think there is zero doubt doing a sport at a high level like that makes them much less well rounded as a person. I think the kid really needs to love the sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rising eight grader got invited to a highly competitive sports program (2+ hours practices 5 to 6 days a week and many weekends of competition). We never really anticipated going this path and are trying to decide if we should go down it. I would love to hear from others whose kids faced a similar choice and how it played out over time. Did your kids rise to the challenge and really blossom? Burn out and/or miss out on other opportunities/experiences in life? In general, youth sports in this area are more intense than my liking, and am kind of surprised we're even considering this (DH is more gung-ho).

Kid likes the sport, clearly has the potential to excel at it (based on current skill and body type), and participation has been a very positive experience so far, albeit at lower levels. School comes relatively easy to them, so I don't see the level of commitment impacting academics. Right now, they say they are leaning towards wanting to do it, though with some hesitations. I can imagine them growing to love this sport and it become a big part of their identity into high school and possibly even college.

But - if given the opportunity, they would rather invest all that effort in a different sport, one they are admit they are unlikely to achieve the same level of success in that one and for which they currently don't have opportunities to participate in at a high level. I can only imagine that their participation will also negatively impact our family life, ability to travel, relax, etc. - and my kid's ability just to be a kid and try different activities. They currently have broad interests, including several sports and other extracurriculars, plus a pretty active social life.

Anyone who has BTDT care to share your experiences?

Be very, very careful about this too. PP again with college basketball daughter. My husband was really into it and I think my daughter wanted to please him some. It's just a complicated dynamic. It should not be about the parents, obviously, but it gets difficult.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like some type of gymnastics program. Mine did do high level gymnastics. It is an 11 month sport with non mandatory practices during the month of August. Practices were six days a week for at least 3 hours. It affects every part of family and kid’s life. There is the financial commitment which is significant. There is missed school. There are inevitable injuries. Family dinners are a thing of the past - you show up after practice with food that they scarf down in the car. There are no other activities. No Girl Scouts. No camp. No school shows. It just becomes all consuming.

No regrets here. There were great experiences and tough times. But don’t miss it at all.

[Anonymous]

I did this with gymnastics. 5 days a week practices for 4 hours a day. I'd do it again, and I'd let my kids do it if they wanted. I learned, among other things, time management, stayed out of trouble, and made lifelong friends. I didn't have the "typical" middle or high school experience but what does that even mean anymore? I went to prom, etc.

If your kid wants to do it, try! You can always change minds if it's not the right decision.

[Anonymous]

I work out with a club for a sport like this. Most of the kids work out 2+ hours a day with the club and travel frequently for competitions. Based on my conversations with the parents of these kids, you need to be prepared to make the sport your life as a family for this to work. Work schedules and vacation schedules for the whole family revolve around the club/competition schedule. The parents spend the vast majority of their free time getting the kids to/from practice. Some of the kids are home-schooled to accommodate competition schedules. Others seem to do little except sport and schoolwork, even at the expense of sleep.

Is it worth it? Hard to say. The club is a really good group of kids with incredible discipline, work ethic, and camaraderie. You could do a lot worse as far as peers for your kid. Also, several of the kids from our club have gone to the Olympics, and all of the kids who stick with it have an excellent hook for college. But, kids do burn out and/or get injured, in which case they have missed out on a lot of their childhood for little payoff, and it may not work for your family build your life around your kid's sport.

[Anonymous]

My DS did this with baseball at that age. Before we agreed my DH and I had a long talk. We knew that it was going to be a huge time commitment for us as well as expensive. We agreed that the two of us had to be all in or nothing. Once we decided we were good with it we agreed to let DS play at that level. We told him once he committed to a season he had to finish it out, but, if anytime he decided not to play the next season we would support him. He ended up playing through college at the D3 level, which gave him more balance. There were some difficult and stressful times, but my DS said he doesn’t have any regrets and now I miss watching him play!!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't, even if my kid wanted to for all of the reasons you were skeptical for. I'd stick low key sports for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rising eight grader got invited to a highly competitive sports program (2+ hours practices 5 to 6 days a week and many weekends of competition). We never really anticipated going this path and are trying to decide if we should go down it. I would love to hear from others whose kids faced a similar choice and how it played out over time. Did your kids rise to the challenge and really blossom? Burn out and/or miss out on other opportunities/experiences in life? In general, youth sports in this area are more intense than my liking, and am kind of surprised we're even considering this (DH is more gung-ho).

Kid likes the sport, clearly has the potential to excel at it (based on current skill and body type), and participation has been a very positive experience so far, albeit at lower levels. School comes relatively easy to them, so I don't see the level of commitment impacting academics. Right now, they say they are leaning towards wanting to do it, though with some hesitations. I can imagine them growing to love this sport and it become a big part of their identity into high school and possibly even college.

But - if given the opportunity, they would rather invest all that effort in a different sport, one they are admit they are unlikely to achieve the same level of success in that one and for which they currently don't have opportunities to participate in at a high level. I can only imagine that their participation will also negatively impact our family life, ability to travel, relax, etc. - and my kid's ability just to be a kid and try different activities. They currently have broad interests, including several sports and other extracurriculars, plus a pretty active social life.

Anyone who has BTDT care to share your experiences?

My sister did this (gymnastics). She quit after two years or so and switched to lacrosse, which was just starting up for girls in our town (nowhere near here obviously). Anyway, the hardest parts were reconnecting with friends outside school since they had always been school-only friends before and finding a new things because even in my small town in 1995, she was too old to learn a new sport at 15. So your concerns are well founded, but it can work out even if she does quit.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kids commitment. One of my child has been passionate since age 6 and we took that path, and they are now playing the sport in college and still have that passion. For them it was worth it. An others said, our only family dinners were on non-travel Sundays.

My other kids are less passionate so we choose less intense teams. That said, one is starting to ramp it up in HS and regrets that less intense path.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like this is not what your kid wants to do. So don’t.

[Anonymous]

OP depends on the sport.

Gymnastics no way.

Swimming yes because one can do that for their whole life tennis and golf same.

Soccer, Lax, and football only if your kid really really wants it.

[Anonymous]

Even though he’s bright and school comes easily to him depending on school the amount of homework can be grueling-not an issue of being smart or not but just physically doing it all. Also, depending on whether he likes his teammates a lot or not the social opportunities he would need to give up could be a lot bigger deal in high school than middle school. In middle school a kid might be a bit disappointed to miss a get together with friends whereas in high school it feels unacceptable to miss it.

[Anonymous]

What do they want to do?