Neighbors seem to think I work for them, incredibly rude, I've had it

[Anonymous]

Its a thankless job but so is running any organization. If you think you are making a positive contribution, keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

HOA treasurer here. You can always move to having a management company, then they field all questions and you have to do a lot less. Of course, that'll cost you -- expect $1k/month as a ballpark, dependings on # of units/houses.

In my case, being treasurer my default answer was "That'll cost $X. We can bring it up at the annual meeting to see if every owner wants their fees to go up to cover it" knowing that the other owners wouldn't be in favor. We run a no-frills association.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and if the person ever gets mad and threatens to sue, then you're in luck -- now they can't contact you at all. Since they threatened legal actcion, all communication must now go through the HOA's counsel.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to redirect them through the proper channels while also listening to their concerns and possibly taking them seriously. If they are trivial and inappropriate pay less attention but isn't it possible they have a good idea or two? Something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to redirect them through the proper channels while also listening to their concerns and possibly taking them seriously. If they are trivial and inappropriate pay less attention but isn't it possible they have a good idea or two? Something to think about.

Nope, not worth thinking about. If these folks have some good ideas, then they should probably stop complaining about all the other crap and instead politely bring up their one or two good ideas at the appropriate time. It's their own fault for complaining all the time -- they've ensured no one will listen to them and any actually useful input they have will get ignored. The HOA ran perfectly fine without them for years, so maybe they should think about THAT for a bit before assuming their litany of complaints will be welcome input to the volunteers who have kept things in running order for nearly a decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to redirect them through the proper channels while also listening to their concerns and possibly taking them seriously. If they are trivial and inappropriate pay less attention but isn't it possible they have a good idea or two? Something to think about.

Nope, not worth thinking about. If these folks have some good ideas, then they should probably stop complaining about all the other crap and instead politely bring up their one or two good ideas at the appropriate time. It's their own fault for complaining all the time -- they've ensured no one will listen to them and any actually useful input they have will get ignored. The HOA ran perfectly fine without them for years, so maybe they should think about THAT for a bit before assuming their litany of complaints will be welcome input to the volunteers who have kept things in running order for nearly a decade.

What if the HOA is mismanaged and in debt?

[Anonymous]

Who has a HOA? I t just sounds so awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to redirect them through the proper channels while also listening to their concerns and possibly taking them seriously. If they are trivial and inappropriate pay less attention but isn't it possible they have a good idea or two? Something to think about.

Nope, not worth thinking about. If these folks have some good ideas, then they should probably stop complaining about all the other crap and instead politely bring up their one or two good ideas at the appropriate time. It's their own fault for complaining all the time -- they've ensured no one will listen to them and any actually useful input they have will get ignored. The HOA ran perfectly fine without them for years, so maybe they should think about THAT for a bit before assuming their litany of complaints will be welcome input to the volunteers who have kept things in running order for nearly a decade.

It's this type of HOA board arrogance and intolerance that insures that ongoing problems won't be addressed. New people do need to step back and figure out how things work before they jump in with complaints or suggestions but board members need to listen to people and get their egos under control as well. If the complainers aren't going through the proper channels at the appropriate time then you need to help them with that, as I suggested, rather than treat them rudely and attempt to shut them down. It's a two way street. If this bothers you it's time to get off the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to redirect them through the proper channels while also listening to their concerns and possibly taking them seriously. If they are trivial and inappropriate pay less attention but isn't it possible they have a good idea or two? Something to think about.

Nope, not worth thinking about. If these folks have some good ideas, then they should probably stop complaining about all the other crap and instead politely bring up their one or two good ideas at the appropriate time. It's their own fault for complaining all the time -- they've ensured no one will listen to them and any actually useful input they have will get ignored. The HOA ran perfectly fine without them for years, so maybe they should think about THAT for a bit before assuming their litany of complaints will be welcome input to the volunteers who have kept things in running order for nearly a decade.

What if the HOA is mismanaged and in debt?

Then raise your concerns about those specific, major issues and STFU about whether trash pickup happens on Tuesday or Wednesday. Complaining about minor stuff when there are major issues just distracts people from the more important stuff. Plus, if you fix the mismanagement, the other issues will go away.

I stand by my statement: people who complain constantly about every little thing are to be ignored. If you want people to listen to you, learn to edit yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to redirect them through the proper channels while also listening to their concerns and possibly taking them seriously. If they are trivial and inappropriate pay less attention but isn't it possible they have a good idea or two? Something to think about.

Nope, not worth thinking about. If these folks have some good ideas, then they should probably stop complaining about all the other crap and instead politely bring up their one or two good ideas at the appropriate time. It's their own fault for complaining all the time -- they've ensured no one will listen to them and any actually useful input they have will get ignored. The HOA ran perfectly fine without them for years, so maybe they should think about THAT for a bit before assuming their litany of complaints will be welcome input to the volunteers who have kept things in running order for nearly a decade.

It's this type of HOA board arrogance and intolerance that insures that ongoing problems won't be addressed. New people do need to step back and figure out how things work before they jump in with complaints or suggestions but board members need to listen to people and get their egos under control as well. If the complainers aren't going through the proper channels at the appropriate time then you need to help them with that, as I suggested, rather than treat them rudely and attempt to shut them down. It's a two way street. If this bothers you it's time to get off the board.

Amazing. We’re talking about people who constantly complain about every little thing and do not respect the time of unpaid volunteers, but it’s the volunteer who is arrogant and intolerant for simply setting a boundary. Again: nope.

It is arrogant to assume that another human being is available to do your bidding whenever you want. Don’t treat your neighbors like hired help (especially if you tend to treat hired help poorly). If you want people to take your ideas seriously in your HOA, (1) be polite and professional, (2) contribute YOUR time and energy and don’t just expect others to do everything for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to redirect them through the proper channels while also listening to their concerns and possibly taking them seriously. If they are trivial and inappropriate pay less attention but isn't it possible they have a good idea or two? Something to think about.

Nope, not worth thinking about. If these folks have some good ideas, then they should probably stop complaining about all the other crap and instead politely bring up their one or two good ideas at the appropriate time. It's their own fault for complaining all the time -- they've ensured no one will listen to them and any actually useful input they have will get ignored. The HOA ran perfectly fine without them for years, so maybe they should think about THAT for a bit before assuming their litany of complaints will be welcome input to the volunteers who have kept things in running order for nearly a decade.

It's this type of HOA board arrogance and intolerance that insures that ongoing problems won't be addressed. New people do need to step back and figure out how things work before they jump in with complaints or suggestions but board members need to listen to people and get their egos under control as well. If the complainers aren't going through the proper channels at the appropriate time then you need to help them with that, as I suggested, rather than treat them rudely and attempt to shut them down. It's a two way street. If this bothers you it's time to get off the board.

Amazing. We’re talking about people who constantly complain about every little thing and do not respect the time of unpaid volunteers, but it’s the volunteer who is arrogant and intolerant for simply setting a boundary. Again: nope.

It is arrogant to assume that another human being is available to do your bidding whenever you want. Don’t treat your neighbors like hired help (especially if you tend to treat hired help poorly). If you want people to take your ideas seriously in your HOA, (1) be polite and professional, (2) contribute YOUR time and energy and don’t just expect others to do everything for you.

All good points. However, if you can't see the other side of it and do your part to redirect the complainers into the proper channels and protocols then you are part of the problem. Not sure why you can't see that. Venting on DCUM does little to improve your immediate situation with your HOA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there other board members or just you? If there are, the next time these neighbors approach you or contact you, you need to write them back or tell them that they need to contact the board email address and provide it to them. I think each member of the board should spend a week being the primary point person covering emails and responding back to members. That’ll help illuminate one person having the burden of always having to respond. Also I just think at the end of the day you the individual should not have to carry all of the bird and just because you are the president. But I think you’re gonna have to be firm with these new people.

This is a good idea but would not work in this case. We have 4 offices but only two filled at the moment (president and treasurer) because of people moving, plus these are the most important two positions. The new people actually got into a big argument with the treasurer about a landscaping issue in the spring and are not on speaking terms (I heard ALL about it from both sides, and am super annoyed with both of them at this point). It's probably not a good idea for the treasurer to interact with them at the moment.

But yes, it would be great to have more people on the board. We have elections in January. I'm worried that the drama from the new people will sour people on volunteering though. I'm already 90% sure the treasurer is going to quit.

Insist the other two positions get filled. Then announce your intention to give up this VOLUNTEER position in no more than x months. The End

[Anonymous]

Term limits would solve this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Term limits would solve this issue.

I am not poster but I am on year 9 in my position and we are supposed to have annual elections. Have not had one on three years as cant get quorum at meetings. We even have to go door to door getting proxies. We also have folks who don’t share info at all.

So if I quit just no one does it. They do like to complain verbally to people over flowers, gossip etc but not actually helpful. And a few of them are crooks who join board and leave. Like the guy who owned a snowplow company wanted is to use his firm and we explain we have RFP process and to bid to insured and license business and he wanted his uses at double cost. One meeting.

Then good people get burnt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Term limits would solve this issue.

I am not poster but I am on year 9 in my position and we are supposed to have annual elections. Have not had one on three years as cant get quorum at meetings. We even have to go door to door getting proxies. We also have folks who don’t share info at all.

So if I quit just no one does it. They do like to complain verbally to people over flowers, gossip etc but not actually helpful. And a few of them are crooks who join board and leave. Like the guy who owned a snowplow company wanted is to use his firm and we explain we have RFP process and to bid to insured and license business and he wanted his uses at double cost. One meeting.

Then good people get burnt out.

OP here and all of this. Our association docs cover all these procedures and it’s very hard to get people to participate enough to do things by the book. Even when I became president, it was irregular— the outgoing president (who was selling his house) recruited me because no one had volunteered for it, and when too few people showed up to the election meeting, we had to get the remaining votes via e-mail proxy in order to finish it. That’s why we have infilled positions. I have been working on recruiting at least a secretary for three years since our last one left but no one will do it. There are only ever a couple people willing to take this on at a given time.

Also, for the record, our HOA is well run. Healthy reserve fund and all services come in on or under budget every year, even when we’ve had to change vendors. In the time I’ve been here we’ve only had one major expenditure, a street resurfacing that was desperately needed, and we were able to find it from reserves without a special assessment. One reason all the complaints from the new neighbors are frustrating is that they don’t seem to understand that our HOA has all the fundamentals down— good money management, regular and good sister maintenance, regular meetings but not a lot of burdensome time commitment required of people.

So when I’m getting complaints about something relatively minor or one-off, I feel frustrated that there is no good will from them. Like a recent complaint from them involved street parking by visitors, because a neighbor has a barbecue and it did cause some street parking issues on that day. So I even agreed with their complaint and agreed we should come up with a solution that will prevent that issue from happening again. But they were so rude about it, and took out their frustration with the party hosts on me, like I’d personally endorsed what had happened. I wasn’t even in town that weekend! It’s like there is no good will from them and any response from me other than “yes thank you I will take care of this right away” makes them mad, but that’s what I mean by feeling like they think I work for them.

I also think they could be handling a lot of this stuff on their own. Even the parking thing— if they’d just called or approached the party host to explain the problem, I’m certain the problem would have been addressed immediately. But instead they stew about it all weekend and then contact me. Like part of home ownership is dealing with your neighbors and resolving stuff like this in a mature, adult way. It feels a little like they just need to develop some of these skills.