Being the "older woman" by just a few years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think having a younger husband is a flex. Women I know who have one (my DH is two years younger than me and I'm including myself) so make an extra effort to stay fit and healthy and slim, and I wonder if has something to do with not wanting to look too much younger.... But staying healthy is a great thing for the women so it's kind of a win for everyone.

I’m the PP who is 3 years older than DH and I like this take! Hadn’t thought of it as a flex but now that you mention it, damn right 😁

[Anonymous]

Seriously? My SIL is a head older than my brother and it eject bothered him. I have a couple friend and the wife is 3 years older. He jokes sometimes about her being old but they’ve been happily married for over 10 years. 3 years is not a big deal unless you make it one.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To give more context, my bf told me early on that he has a “theory” that for marriage to be successful, a woman should be with a guy who’s 5/6 yes older, because the man is building his career and wants to be settled before having kids, and their timing will match up better. I later asked him why he was with me if he really believed that, and he said since we’re both divorced, and not looking to have more kids, it doesn’t apply.

[Anonymous]

My SIL is a head older than my brother and it eject bothered him.

Same here. DIL is a head older than my brother and it eject bothered him.

[Anonymous]

All else being equal: men have larger sex drives than women. Younger people have larger sex drives than older.

So this is playing with fire. Of course, if she was super high drive and he is lower drive, it can work. In my situation, we were the stereotype and it broke us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you see any issues with a long-term relationship/marriage when the woman is a few years (e.g., 3) older than the man? For example she is 42 and he is 39.

I am in this situation now (we're both divorced with similar age kids), and I see potential for a long relationship, although he has made a few jokes about me being older and maybe I'm slightly self-conscious about it.

That's not really older,its the same age group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know so many couples like this, and many long-term couples in my extended family like this. Three years is nothing.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

It's a good deal for a lazy man.

[Anonymous]

I’m 2 years older than my DH. I’m 43 and he’s 41 and we’ve been together over 20 years. Two elementary children. Not having as much sex as in our 20s and pre-parenting days but assume that’s the norm. I hope (since women tend to outlive men) that my being older means we get more time together. He says I’ve aged well, but I feel pretty average early 40s looking and would say the same for him. It mattered when we first were dating and he couldn’t buy a beer and it mattered when I wanted to marry in my late 20s and he still didn’t feel ready (we eventually married at 29/27 and had our first kid when I was 34) but these days I don’t think it matters at all.

[Anonymous]

I met my boyfriend when I was 45 and he was 41. The only “issue” is that his kids were younger than mine since we started our families at the same time. Aside from that it’s incredible. Five years later and he still looks incredible and my friends husbands who are a few years older than them are starting to look old. I’d embrace it!

[Anonymous]

It’s clear from the thread that women embrace it. A few men who commented do note a difference in sex drive. Any more feedback from men ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear from the thread that women embrace it. A few men who commented do note a difference in sex drive. Any more feedback from men ?

I truly pity any man with an older wife. Marrying an older woman is a loser move. I know two who did it and I feel sorry for both of them. They are both bald, and one is also short. Age difference: 10 years and 5 years.

[Anonymous]

I’m 55 and DH is 52

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear from the thread that women embrace it. A few men who commented do note a difference in sex drive. Any more feedback from men ?

I truly pity any man with an older wife. Marrying an older woman is a loser move. I know two who did it and I feel sorry for both of them. They are both bald, and one is also short. Age difference: 10 years and 5 years.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best guy I dated was 2 years younger than me, will go up to 4 years younger. Though I do wonder like a previous poster what would happen if I marry younger, go through menopause and have little interest in sex, how that would end up.

The whole menopause = little interest in sex is a huge myth. Huge.

You’re right- diminished libido in women usually starts well before menopause. It can be caused by a number of issues other than decreased estrogen. It is disingenuous to call something that at least 1 in 3 women experience a “huge myth” just because it is not an issue for you.